Today DH let slip that he and his colleague went hiking on Friday for a few hours during the work day (they are both in the office at the moment). I reacted quite angrily, largely because I was feeling really unwell on Friday and looking after 3 young kids by myself at home - I had tried to call him a couple of times to see if he could come home early but his phone was dead.
He has apologised for his phone and said (which I fully believe) that he would have come home at once if he'd known how rubbish I was feeling, but after reflecting on it I'm more hurt that he would go off for a jolly with a friend without first checking in to see if I needed a bit of support. Even if I hadn't been ill, I've been the primary carer and 'teacher' to the kids all through lockdown, and he knew that last week was a tough one in terms of everyone being tired and fed up of the situation.
He says I'm being absurd and that if I want to go off and exercise with a friend, I just have to ask him, but I really don't think that's the point. I honestly can't remember the last time I did anything frivolous for myself - normally his work is incredibly busy so I always prioritise making time for him to work, and in the spare time I do have, I'm studying. (On which note I have an essay due in this week, which he knows, so really could've used that extra time to work on it.)
So YABU - it's his time and he can do what he wants with it without checking in with me first
or
YANBU - he should've thought, on a Friday after a long week and a long school half term, that his wife might like a little support