Husband flirting with work colleague

[CheeseMonger26]

Hi All...
Don’t know if I’m being over sensitive or not. Husband (late 30s) and his work colleague “Joan” (about 20 years older) have exchanged text messages that are a bit flirty, with kisses. They share an office together, just the two of them, so I assume there’s a degree of banter at their work. He’s given her lifts to and from work before... she’s bought him gifts. Apparently she’s told him he’s an attractive man. Am I reading too much into it? Gut feeling says I don’t like it much, haven’t brought this up with him though as I haven’t long had a baby, and don’t know if this is me being a bit over sensitive. If shoe was on other foot, I know he wouldn’t like it.

I am Joan. Don't trust your husband.

You know your husband the best. Natural to be a tiny bit insecure (I probably wouldn’t like it if it was my dp sending/receiving them) but could be nothing apart from lighthearted banter.

How did you see the text messages OP? Did your DH tell you she said he's attractive? How did that convo start?

Did he tell you that sh3csaid he was attractive? Maybe he’s feeling a bit needy and is trying to boost his self esteem by telling you.

It might be nothing,but if you are worried, best talk to him and see if he can scale it back a bit. To avoid temptation of unfaithfulness it's best to avoid the opportunity. And it sounds like they are spending a lot of time together. Not to say they are doing anything massively wrong, but your husband should show you respect by not giving you cause for concern. I would expect him to refrain from flirting with another woman whilst married to you.

@Blyatiful

I am Joan. Don't trust your husband.

I’m not sure, does he often fancy sixty year old women?

Been a few threads like this recently,,,

My husband is 29 he has a work colleague who is around 25 years older than him that is very flirty, but she also calls him son too. My dh is quite flowery in his speech so I let it go, but I have to admit, I get cougar vibes and you can never know someones intentions. I think because they are older our husbands probably feel its easy to tell us and not think its a big deal, but in our post partum state (in my case, pregnant) we don't feel too good anyway so we just hear woman lol. I mean I'm kinda rambling now and going off topic but I would just not worry and let your husband know you find it bit inappropriate and see how he reacts. x

My son was watching mr tumble on his phone, I took the phone away when he started messing about with other apps on there, and I saw the messages that way. And yes, he told me the attractive comment. No, not usually in the habit of fancying women old enough to be his mother. If I was to mention it or ask him to reign it in, he would probably be cross at me for asking him “to change” and probably think I’m being boring and a no fun.

Just blurted out and told me the comment at teatime one evening, he’s a pessimist by nature, but someone else showing him attention, he’s probably very flattered I guess. Not met this Joan, but from what I hear from other people, she’s quite bubbly, loud, talkative, but apparently quite professional in her work.