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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

moving away

15 replies

viv78 · 15/02/2021 19:30

Hi i am a divorcee with 2 grown up children. I have a 3year old grandaughter who we have stay every other weekend
I am seriously considering moving out of my local area to thirty miles away back where im originally from due to domestic and verbal abuse from ex husband. even though i divorced him , he seems to think its ok for him to come round to my house whenever he wants and acts as if nothing has changed. ive tried talking to him about it but he just ignores me.i suffer from depression due to this and past experiences and i know the only way to get away from him is to move away. but AIBU for wanting to leave and move away from grandaughter and grown up children for my own happiness and sanity?

OP posts:
HeyGirlHeyBoy · 15/02/2021 19:32

30 miles is not far at all and it sounds like it might change your life. I'd do it. Good luck.

FelicityPike · 15/02/2021 19:33

It’s your life not your children’s nor grandchildren’s.
You’re not planning on moving continents. 30 miles is nothing.
Do it.

Beforethetakingoftoastandtea · 15/02/2021 19:36

Of course it’s fine. It’s not that far at all. It's only double my daily drive to work!

Royalbloo · 15/02/2021 19:37

No, you go wherever it is you want to be and don't tell him x

Ohdoleavemealone · 15/02/2021 19:41

It's fine. It's only about 45 minutes in the car which is nothing!

DenisetheMenace · 15/02/2021 19:43

It’s not far away, our mothers both live hundreds of miles from us and all relationships are healthy. For goodness’ sake, just make sure no-one tells him where you are.

Good luck.

idontlikealdi · 15/02/2021 19:54

Unless you ripped off a zero it's really not far

Original poster
viv78 · 15/02/2021 19:57

thank you for your replies. much appreciated.

OP posts:
emmathedilemma · 15/02/2021 19:57

It’s 30miles it’s hardly the end of the earth! Still easy enough to come for dinner, spend the day with granny, stay over at weekend etc. People commute further than that daily!

Ragwort · 15/02/2021 20:00

Gosh, 30 miles is nothing!!! In our family we have all moved a couple of 100 miles from each other (different directions!) and still maintain good relationships.

Alonelonelyloner · 15/02/2021 20:03

Go!! Just swear everyone to silence and mean it.

BlueSuffragette · 15/02/2021 20:04

Go for it OP. 30 miles is far enough from your dick head ex but near enough for you to maintain a good relationship with your DC and DGC. Good luck. Flowers

katy1213 · 15/02/2021 20:08

30 miles is nothing. Just don't leave a forwarding address!
But why do you even open the door to your ex? Tell him he's not welcome - and ignore him. You shouldn't feel forced out of your home just to get away from him.

FedUp79 · 15/02/2021 21:03

Even moving to another country wnbu. It’s your life and by the sounds of it you need some breathing space. Just make sure your ex doesn’t get your new address.

7yo7yo · 15/02/2021 21:21

Bit drastic.
Why don’t you tell him not to
Come round and if that fails, take legal action.
Why should you be chased away from you children?

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