Pissed off VALENTINES

[Amandapanda1]

Aibu to be pissed off?
Myself and oh have been together years but had a break up and recently got back together
I asked the other week if we were getting valentines gifts to which he replied yes course. Over the past 15 years he’s always disappointed me on valentines with either nothing or something lame in the afternoon once he’s bothered runnin to the shop and getting whats left!
Anyway he said yes so i went out the week before and got him a nice card & gift
Valentines morning i said ooo can I have my presents jokey he said ive not got them yet il go the shops in a bit grrr
I told him to forget it im taking yours back i was so annoyed he could have went the sat he was off work
he says im being spoilt wanting them as soon as i wake up and says im immature
He said he orderd me jewelery 2 days before but it hadn’t arrived shm and didn’t want the flowers to die if he bought them the day before.
I said ive had enough of feeling un loved, let down & worthless every year on valentines
We have had the same argument the past 10+ years

Thanks everyone i know i get it its a commercial money making etc etc...
But i have been giving him a chance to show he’s changing and he says he loves me wants to be with me forever he knows i love flowers balloons i go all out on his and the kids birthdays and it does make me feel like shit seeing my friends and sisters boyfriends/ husbands making an effort or even just getting them a nice card and as usual im the one with nothing 😞
Id have been happy with a pound card & a bar of dairy milk
He knows how much it would have meant to me (or he should have)

Thanks @CircleofWillis

I voted YANBU because I feel like there is more to this and you probably shouldn’t have got back together!

This is why I dislike Valentines: its all about pressure and obligation. I think honestly if you've got to the point where you need to sit down and discuss whether you're going to mark it or not the relationship's over. You're investing far too much in one completely artificial day which is essentially a bonanza for card and flower sellers. Anyone who uses it as a benchmark of the quality of their relationship has bigger problems.

TBH it also sounds as if Valentines is the least of your worries: your bf sounds thoughtless and unpleasant. Could this be nature's way of telling you you were right to split.

Possibly @thepeopleversuswork

Other people’s relationships don’t really matter or whether they celebrate Valentine’s Day.

He said he was doing something special for you and then didn’t and then called you immature for being disappointed about it. That’s unpleasant treatment and it doesn’t look like he’s making an effort to show you he cares.

It doesn’t matter what day it is or whether it was a gift or other promise / arrangement / prearranged event, essentially it’s because he’s let you down again.

Think about why you split, why you are back together and what has changed.

I agree with other pps - if you are relying on one day for him to prove he's changed, then it's a sign that things are at an end. You shouldn't need to invest in a particular date to know that your partner of 10 years loves you and is considerate towards you. I would see it as the last straw and it would be over.

10 years in Yabu for feeling either surprised or upset.
Dh is a bit like that but great in other ways.
I don't bother and I don't let it upset me!
If he's an arse generally that's another thing!