Sorry for tge long post.I dont really have anyone to talk to about this so hoping for a bit of advice. My bestie and I have been friends for a long time. We have helped each other navigate through life in a new country/break ups/divorce and just life generally. She is bubbly, out going and the general life of the party and most of the friends I have today, I have either met through her or with her so at least 90% are mutual friends.
I have always been happy being the wall flower. The friend in the background while she shines. However a few years ago things changed for me. I got divorced and she stayed friends with my ex and became housemates even though he was abusive so we drifted but stayed in touch.
Just over a year went by and I met my now OH. At almost the same time she met hers. We started hanging out again and fell into our old roles again. My OH and I travelled a bit, got married, bought a house and then had our little boy. So yes my life has been busy but every time I had one of these big life events she was very quiet and found some reason to not be around. I admit that apart from the hen do I wasnt around for her wedding planning but I was heavily pregnant and I am still paying for it with reminders.
Since I had my LB she is just not in my life at all I have made a few new mum friends and see some mutual friends (pre lockdown). Then I got a phone call saying she feels really bad when I hang out with her friends without her. I have known said friends for years and yes she might have introduced me to a few but I have known them for years. Also she sees people with me all the time. I just can't get over it, i mean we are adults right?
I decided to put it behind me, distanced myself from everyone except the mum friends and then xmas came. She invited the too many households and then it all blew up. One massive argument between them all. Me and OH decided on staying in before all this so weren't involved. I got calls from all of them and told them all I didn't want to hear or get involved including her. Everyone respected it and in the end christmas was cancelled anyway.
Then yesterday out of nowhere I get told that she is disappointed in me cause i should be there to listen and take her side. Its months after. I am doomed if I see people, doomed if I dont. I honestly just want to walk away. We have a history but is that enough to keep a friendship going???