Valentines one!

[goldpendant]

So DH and I don't do Valentines in any big way, it's a nice dinner at home usually, a card, token gift or some other romantic gesture... eg, a handmade art thing or I'll bake his favourite cake or something. So no big deal but we recognise it. We also have our anniversary at the end of Jan, also marked but again usually low key.

Anyway, no card from DH today, no gift (and I must admit his anniversary efforts were crap too when I'd gone to loads of effort and spent a fair bit). I was a bit miffed then so this probably making me feel even worse.

Yes, lockdown, yes, we are juggling loads blah blah blah. But he manages to order every DIY item under the sun for various home projects, or cycling accessories. But not even a card, or some flowers today. Nothing!

I haven't really said anything as I kind of pre empted this last night and we actually had a laugh about it - he did imply he'd be nipping out today (supermarket flowers better than nothing surely?) - anyway, he didn't go out.

We bumped into the neighbour outside earlier who said he was off to get his wife's present(!) but DH seems completely unaware of the occasion.

AIBU to be a bit narked and feel I should say something? This will 100% lead to an argument I can't be bothered to have.

Or should I acknowledge the fact it's a bit tacky anyway, v close to our anniversary, and that he's had a stressful week with work and DIY'ing today - so get over it and say nothing.

I will probably sulk a bit either which way!

You need to tell him you’re disappointed. Tell him about moon pig, thortful, Etsy etc so he can order in just like he’s been ordering loads of stuff for himself. If you don’t tell him it means something TO YOU he may just think you both think Valentine’s Day is naff

YNBU to be disappointed. I don’t think it has to be a full scale row or keep it to yourself. You can just mention it would have been nice to mark the day with a card, if you want to. But I think you are right to ultimately not read too much into it. A lot of us are being a bit more self absorbed than usual atm. There’s less reminders too if you’re not getting out and about much.

How do you expect his behaviour to change if he thinks your not bothered by it anyway? You’re just going to end up one of them people who post here year after year disappointed. Tell him he’s been thoughtless and you want more of an effort made.

So you gave him a card and baked him something (or whatever), and he did nothing? Did he say he just forgot? I never really celebrated it but would be annoyed if you usually do. So tell him.

How did he react to your gift/card?

He said thanks for the card, the chocs, the heart shaped fancy cheddar.... and that was that. I organised a nice meal, when we went to be he said "oh honey you did x, y and z and I did nothing"

I will let it pass this year but in the run up to next anniversary and valentines I'll make it clear that 2021 was a disappointment.

Can you order yourself a beautiful bouquet of flowers? When they turn up & he asks who they're from you can tell him all bright & breezy "Me. It's not only DIY stuff that can be ordered online you know".

Try www.bunches.co.uk - beautiful, long lasting flowers & a family company. Have used them & really impressed. Not too pricey either (A lot cheaper than DIY tools 😁).