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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Valentine's Day

4 replies

soditall56 · 14/02/2021 18:14

So we've never really been massively into Valentine's day as in buying expensive gifts but usually buy each other a card, I usually get my annual bunch of supermarket flowers and have something nice for dinner such as a fancy takeaway or a nice m&s meal.

As I am on maternity leave & budget is a bit tighter than usual, I brought the subject up and said not to bother with gifts.

We spoke to a friend who said what food they'd ordered for tonight and DH said we will do the same and he'd sort it.

Today, I left his card by his bedside as I got up earlier with the baby and he came down saying he felt bad he'd not even got me a card (although not bad enough to nip out and get one!) and surprise surprise, nothing ordered in for dinner.

Am I being unreasonable thinking that this is the first year as parents and a little appreciation wouldn't go a miss for all I do for him and DD?

First year of parents has been difficult in the way that we don't get much time to ourselves (do parents ever?!) plus lockdowns have meant we haven't even been out for a meal the two of us since DD was born but he talks about how he feels neglected as a husband and I can't help but think he has a cheek!

I do as much as I can to take the pressure off him and for DD, washing, cooking, cleaning night feeds etc and I didn't get a card, not even a facebook post 🤣

OP posts:
soditall56 · 14/02/2021 18:29

@soditall56

So we've never really been massively into Valentine's day as in buying expensive gifts but usually buy each other a card, I usually get my annual bunch of supermarket flowers and have something nice for dinner such as a fancy takeaway or a nice m&s meal.

As I am on maternity leave & budget is a bit tighter than usual, I brought the subject up and said not to bother with gifts.

We spoke to a friend who said what food they'd ordered for tonight and DH said we will do the same and he'd sort it.

Today, I left his card by his bedside as I got up earlier with the baby and he came down saying he felt bad he'd not even got me a card (although not bad enough to nip out and get one!) and surprise surprise, nothing ordered in for dinner.

Am I being unreasonable thinking that this is the first year as parents and a little appreciation wouldn't go a miss for all I do for him and DD?

First year of parents has been difficult in the way that we don't get much time to ourselves (do parents ever?!) plus lockdowns have meant we haven't even been out for a meal the two of us since DD was born but he talks about how he feels neglected as a husband and I can't help but think he has a cheek!

I do as much as I can to take the pressure off him and for DD, washing, cooking, cleaning night feeds etc and I didn't get a card, not even a facebook post 🤣

Also should point out that I am always over the moon with supermarket flowers and a card (don't want to sound ungrateful) but given that I am always so happy with a simple card I don't see why this year would be different
OP posts:
Royalbloo · 14/02/2021 18:30

I'd be going to bed early and writing it off personally. Don't say anything - he knows he's been crap. See what he does next year but do nothing as it's clear he doesn't care about it.

Royalbloo · 14/02/2021 18:31

Might be childish but I'd also be inclined to call someone in his earshot - a friend or my Mum. They will ask and you can just say, "No, nothing..."

soditall56 · 14/02/2021 18:35

@Royalbloo

Might be childish but I'd also be inclined to call someone in his earshot - a friend or my Mum. They will ask and you can just say, "No, nothing..."
This morning I made him breakfast (yeah I know right!) and put the ketchup in heart shapes which liked enough to take a photo of but since then has criticised those who have posted photos on Facebook making an effort so I made a passing comment saying oh your really not into Valentine's Day this year are you. No reply 🤷🏼‍♀️
OP posts:
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