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AIBU?

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Original poster

Someone give me a kick up the arse please

28 replies

Stayfreshcheesebags · 14/02/2021 18:03

I've been moping about for the last two days and today I've not even got dressed.

I'm totally knackered from working from home (I have a business and a part time job) whilst trying (ignoring) home schooling my five and six year olds.

I just can't be arsed anymore ( not in a suicidal sense, more just laziness). My living room is a tip, kids have had screens all day and I'm about to shove a ready meal in the oven. I haven't even read with the children for about four days.

I need a serious kick up the backside and told to get a grip instead of unjustifiably moping about feeling sorry for myself.

Be brutal !

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 14/02/2021 18:05

Sorry, OP, but you really do need that kick up the arse. Your children are very young and deserve more than screens all day. And screens will affect their behaviour, too, so you're shooting yourself in the foot there.

HitchFlix · 14/02/2021 18:13

Following along in the hope I'll be shamed into action too! This has basically been me for the last 6weeks. Compared to all the effort I used to put into my DC before Covid I've been a shocking parent this year.

I just can't do it. I feed them and bath them and read bed time stories but that's mostly the extent of it. Pjs all day and tv for hours and hours. I'm just waiting for preschool to open up in (hopefully) three weeks and I'll get back to being a proper parent then as I simply can't seem to pull myself out of this slump. Solidarity OP

Original poster
Stayfreshcheesebags · 14/02/2021 18:13

@HollowTalk

Sorry, OP, but you really do need that kick up the arse. Your children are very young and deserve more than screens all day. And screens will affect their behaviour, too, so you're shooting yourself in the foot there.
Totally correct .
OP posts:
Original poster
Stayfreshcheesebags · 14/02/2021 18:16

Yep, same here. Last year we smashed home learning but this time around it's been awful.

I'm in that slump too. I just feel like I have no more energy left to give my children but I know I need to sort myself out for them and keep going.

OP posts:
mrsbitaly · 14/02/2021 18:23

Look stop being so bloody hard on yourselves!! Yes get off your arse and have a better day tomorrow. We are in a pandemic trying to juggle lots of things with the guilt of not doing enough for our children. Its bloody hard entertaining them constantly. You are allowed a shit day where you don't do anything. Just try not to let it eat into too many days.

missrm · 14/02/2021 18:24

Think about how good you will feel when you have a grip on the situation. Get up, straight away and just start getting things in order. Music on and get some chores done. Get the kids off screens and just tackle at least a little bit of it at a time.

I know how you feel. I've had a few shockers like this recently. Don't let it go too far though! C'mon! Off yer arse! xxxx

BlackeyedSusan · 14/02/2021 18:29

Tomorrow is another day. Screens won't hurt in the short term. You need time to refresh before you burn out and it's screens everyday.

A guilt free do as little as possible day once a week is ok. I recommend rotating toys so to get out something fresh for them to do.batch cooked just defrost in microwave dinners and some sort of activity that takes little setting up and little supervising. Picnic on the floor or garden in warmer weather. ( Blanket and chair tent table and blanket tent) ( Special crayons and special paper/ books ? Stickers? That come out once a week)

Original poster
Stayfreshcheesebags · 14/02/2021 18:34

Thank you, wise words received ! I'm having a bubble bath and early night tonight. I've been staying up until 2am working which hasn't helped.

Today's been a write off but tomorrow is a new day.

OP posts:
Clicketyclick21 · 14/02/2021 18:43

No judgement here, I've been in the same boat for the past few weeks. I've been wearing pj's today and I just can't be arsed doing anything.

Hammonds · 14/02/2021 18:50

OP your burned out. The kids are ok on screens for a day or to for you rest. I’m a business owner and it’s bloody hard work especially now. If you can go to bed very early tonight ( when the kids go) and those few extra hours will really make a difference.

SageYourResoluteOracle · 14/02/2021 19:08

I feel a bit like this too. My thing is that I’ve not managed much exercise. Heading out for a family bike ride tomorrow which will hopefully work a treat. So glad it’s half term and that I’ve got the week off as I’ve been mostly solo homeschooling and working really long hours to try and keep my head above water. DP is in the construction industry and a safety side of things so work has carried on for him this lockdown.

But I agree with others that yes- you need to get up and at it tomorrow but probably needed the rest today. We’ve got to be kind to ourselves right now.

Lockandtees · 14/02/2021 19:10

This reply has been deleted

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1AngelicFruitCake · 14/02/2021 19:15

Try and break it into chunks where you are all allowed to relax - them with screens and you whatever you want.
Then, take a deep breath, put a timer on and schedule in no screens and play something they want. Make food together,tidy up together. Put music on to motivate yourself.

flappityflippers1 · 14/02/2021 19:23

No judgement or arse kicking here - we call them lazy days and schedule them in! Read your OP again and take a note of how much you’re juggling!

I think this lockdown is so much harder than the previous. A few things that help me through:

  • make a schedule for each day, and stick to it. Religiously! Make sure you schedule in tv and chill time etc.
  • allow yourselves lazy days or pj days. Down time is just as important as productive time.
  • for the tidying, just get up and start - literally grab a few things, get the DC to grab a few bits and just start putting away.
  • try and get outside if you can, I find it breaks the monotony

Enjoy your bath and early night- I’m in the bath right now and planning the same!

Self care is child care 👌 (saw this on a thread the other day, and love it!)

Original poster
Stayfreshcheesebags · 14/02/2021 22:47

Thank you all for my virtual arse kicking (but kind words).

This evening I
-cleared nearly all the dishes

  • reloaded the dryer and put another wash on
-fed and bathed the kids and had lots of hugs and cuddles -tidied and hoovered the living room
  • had a bath and put clean pyjamas on - winning Grin
  • got through some work
  • I'm now about to go to bed for some Mumsnet reading and rest.

Tomorrow will be a better day !

OP posts:
Original poster
Stayfreshcheesebags · 14/02/2021 22:49

@flappityflippers1

No judgement or arse kicking here - we call them lazy days and schedule them in! Read your OP again and take a note of how much you’re juggling!

I think this lockdown is so much harder than the previous. A few things that help me through:

  • make a schedule for each day, and stick to it. Religiously! Make sure you schedule in tv and chill time etc.
  • allow yourselves lazy days or pj days. Down time is just as important as productive time.
  • for the tidying, just get up and start - literally grab a few things, get the DC to grab a few bits and just start putting away.
  • try and get outside if you can, I find it breaks the monotony

Enjoy your bath and early night- I’m in the bath right now and planning the same!

Self care is child care 👌 (saw this on a thread the other day, and love it!)

Yes, schedules ! We function so much better in our home when we have a schedule and I have my lists. I have let this slip which is why I've been moping about.
OP posts:
Original poster
Stayfreshcheesebags · 14/02/2021 22:52

@Lockandtees

Are you a single parent OP? Do you have any support?

5 and 6 year olds should be able to entertain themselves well enough without having to resort to screens all day long.

Not a single parent but partner is key worker (for want of a better term as it makes me cringe) and works shifts that are all over the place. He does have some annual leave coming up which will help.
OP posts:
Pippin2028 · 14/02/2021 23:04

Right now getting through every day right now is a miracle but having young kids, you have to pull it together. I know some of the suggestions will feel shoddy especially when you feel so unmotivated right now but if you can, try write a list in the morning of all the tasks to accomplish that day/week, and slowly work your way through. Possibly listen to motivation books on audible if you can bring yourself too, or watch a motivational video on YouTube. If you are able to get 10/15 mins to yourself to do some stretching.
The good news is days will be getting longer and weather will slowly get brighter over the coming weeks and that will make things easier for all of us. Everyone these past weeks especially since lockdown 3, no matter your situation in life has felt glum and unmotivated at some point.

Original poster
Stayfreshcheesebags · 14/02/2021 23:21

Thank you Pippin, yes now more than ever I need to pull it together for the kids.

Morning lists are a good idea.

OP posts:
BlackeyedSusan · 14/02/2021 23:27

nobody dead, everybody fed...

and you only have to be a good enough mum.
late nights are killing ,you eventually get to the point of not being able to do much as the brain is too sleep deprived to do anything competantly and quickly.

disabled child who does not sleep well...

Lockandtees · 15/02/2021 06:48

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

Labobo · 15/02/2021 09:32

Do you need a plan of action?

I'd go for a basic morning routine (get up, shower and dressed, make yourself a cup of tea, empty dishwasher and stick a laundry load on then get DC up and dressed. IF DC are the kind who wake at 5am let them play, read or watch tv while you get through your morning routine then call them in to breakfast and after that get them dressed so that they too have a start to the day.

Then just block out chunks of the day: 2 hours on home schooling; 2 hours on housework - get DC to help: sort and fold laundry, hoover, dust, tidy up. Put on loud fun music and don't give the impression it's a chore.)
2 hours exercise - a walk/playpark/or just in the garden and an hour inside if it's freezing - follow different online dance routines or strength training or Joe Wicks - do something different each day.
You can break those down into 30 minute sections and mix them up or keep going in them. But it helps to have some sense of how long you will spend on each thing. Trying to home school all day is exhausting. Not scheduling time to tidy up is demoralising. Teaching DC to muck in with you is every bit as useful a life skill as filling out a worksheet or learning spellings.

Then zone out - let them slob around and watch TV or go on their computers for 3 hours. It won't kill them. You could encourage them to do some quiet time stuff that isn't screens - reading, drawing, writing a journal or letters to people etc.

Get them to help prep dinner with you and help clear it up afterwards. Then bathtime and story time.

EmmaJR1 · 15/02/2021 09:40

Today is a new day!

I know those slobby days you are speaking of and 1 or 2 are completely fine. It's when you don't notice time passing and then you're moody and irritated because nothings done but nobody wants to do anything.

You have a lot on your plate. So when you leave a room take something to put away. Gradually it will lessen.

Start the kids homeschooling with something they enjoy this morning to ease them back into it.

Take a break for tea and reflection now and again.

Give yourself credit for getting through and getting on.

I'm writing this for me as well as you 😂

FakeRealist · 15/02/2021 09:46

Sorry OP, but I can't be arsed to to kick your arse 😂
I'm feeling the same way, covered an isolating colleague at Christmas, another the first week of Jan ( not covid related) and now every fucker has holidays in to be covered. I need the money really so can't in good conscience turn it down but I'm knackered.
I've let things slide and have left the house a shit pit after a stretch of shifts, 'cooked' ready meals and eaten a bit of crap, slept and lazed about for a few days to recharge.
You made good inroads to doing stuff yesterday, it's more than I'm going to do today.

The kids are alive and fed, the house is still standing. The rest can wait if you need to to.
But set a time limit..... I've found it helps.

Original poster
Stayfreshcheesebags · 15/02/2021 23:46

Thank you for the replies !

Today was so much better,TV was off and I force myself to just DO things instead of pondering about them 😂.

I wrote a list of what was priority both kids and work and that worked well.

Solidarity to those going through the same and this never ending slog.

I need eye bag surgery after this last 12 months !

OP posts:
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