He told me to grow up

[thesedarkdayshavebrokenmyheart]

I've had a very bad weekend mentally. As in, feeling I want to escape from life bad. I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, and things have got rapidly worse over the past few months, but this weekend has been something else.

I can't eat, and Ive lost a lot of weight recently. I am a few lbs away from going to underweight bmi. I can't sleep, which is awful because my anxiety is worse late at night. So I take ask me antihistamines to knock me out and spare me the anxiety.

Yesterday, I was thinking 'if this gets so bad and x or y does happen, there's always a way out'. I really don't think I would actually go through with such a drastic thing, but somehow the feeling brought me comfort.

Anyway, I was telling a friend over message how bad and worried I feel about x and y, and that sometimes I wish I was dead so I wouldn't be trapped in my head with these feelings anymore. And he told me to grow up.

I feel even more upset after that remark. I wish I could grow up and snap out of it! I wish I could

Just shows lack of understanding

It does sound harsh but I am reluctant to condemn him totally not knowing what 'x and y' are and not knowing how much you have offloaded onto him and what he has going on in his own life. You chose to speak to him which suggests he is normally the person you turn to, he may have said what he said out of sheer frustration or a feeling that you are not doing enough to help yourself.

I have a friend who has constantly got an issue regarding anxiety, suicide. It does get to a point when you think how much advise can someone give! Sorry op, stop talking to people who cannot for one second picture what is going on with you. You need a counselor.

Mumsnet may not be the best place to discuss this. I'd discuss this with your GP or therapist.