Anyone else feel like they've been an easy abuse target

[Veronica65]

Don't want this to sound like some kind of woe is me or everyone's an arsehole post as that isn't the case at all, I know and have known a lot of great people.

I have just been a target for bullying in several jobs, friendships and relationships. It has mainly been females who have bullied me at work and then males in abusive relationships. Was bullied throughout school.

I have lacked assertiveness at times, but other times when I have stood up for myself I have been gaslighted and made to believe I'm unreasonable for speaking out.

Without sounding arrogant I think I have things going for me and seem to be a particular target for people who are insecure and unhappy in themselves.

People seem to think they can speak badly to me and treat me in the same way.

As a result I admit my circle is quite small and i have difficulty trusting people. I think I would rather be this way than have all the backstabbing or jealous friends I've previously had. I have anger inside me for the way I have been treated.
Not saying I am perfect I'm sure I've made a lot of mistakes in my life but I treat people with kindness.

Does anyone else feel this way or have any advice? I've just accepted that my social circle will be very small as I feel like it's safer this way.

Sorry you’ve been bullied.

I think it’s unlikely people are targeting you because you have a lot going for you, because lots of people in that category aren’t bullied. Lack of assertiveness or boundaries are more likely the issue, plus perhaps needing to please people in relationships?

I would do some reading around this, and there are some good online courses.

Yes you're right I do have an issue with people pleasing. Maybe they aren't, it's just been some people who seem quite insecure and unhappy and have tried to put me down to make themselves feel better I feel.

I need to work on my own boundaries indeed.