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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DS does not want to eat

18 replies

thehorsealreadybolted · 14/02/2021 14:00

Ds is 16. He does not particularly like food. He eats at meal times mainly through it being the done thing. He never seems hungry. Sometimes he moans about having to eat dinner. He is on the very line of being under weight but I don't know how to fatten him up at all. He is very picky. The only saving thing is he drinks milk. If I didn't offer him food at meal times he really wouldn't bother. Does anyone else have experience of this? AIBU to be concerned?

OP posts:

jimmyhill · 14/02/2021 14:18

He is on the very line of being under weight but I don't know how to fatten him up at all

So he's a bit skinny but not dangerously so and he eats at mealtimes?

Sounds like what we used to call "healthy" before obesity became the norm.

Original poster

thehorsealreadybolted · 14/02/2021 15:10

It’s just he’s also getting taller by the day it feels and that will make him skinnier because he isn’t eating much. I’d rather he wasn’t right there waiting to get into “underweight”

OP posts:

CherryRoulade · 14/02/2021 15:16

Leave him be. He's sixteen and sounds like he's within a healthy range.

EugenesAxe · 14/02/2021 15:17

It's possible he has an eating disorder. I've known of a boy in which extreme pickiness has been a symptom, and anorexia does exist for teenage boys too.

I don't know what to suggest though - some kind of psychiatrist if you can go private? Maybe get a book on the subject and see what advice there is. It might be something he's striving for that you can help him achieve in a way that doesn't endanger his health?

But like PP says, if he's eating meals it doesn't seem the end of the world.

AtleastitsnotMonday · 14/02/2021 15:17

Has he always need like this is is this a new thing?
You say he’s borderline for being underweight and you want to fatten him up, does he want to gain weight? How’s his body image?
Is he healthy? Growing? Have plenty of energy?
What involvement does he have with food and shopping? Does he have input?
Is there any type of food that he is excited by? Does he enjoy eating out? What about the rest of the family? How are their relationships with food?
Sorry for so many questions, just trying to get a better picture!

StinP · 14/02/2021 15:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

blue25 · 14/02/2021 15:31

I knew someone would come along suggesting an eating disorder even though he’s a healthy weight and eating meals. Not everyone obsesses about food all day. Leave him be.

funnylittlefloozie · 14/02/2021 15:40

Apart from his eating, is he happy, sociable, active, getting on with school work, etc?

I think as long as you put a decent well-balanced meal in front of him, and he eats most of it, don't worry too much. Its easy to get sucked in to the MN trope of "my teenage son eats 3 whole chickens and a sack of spuds every day and still raids the fridge overnight ", and then assume that because your DS doesn't eat like that, that there's something wrong. If you're really concerned, make sure he takes a multi-vitamin everyday.

Blacktothepink · 14/02/2021 15:41

Protein shakes, my ma isn’t a foodie and has them.

Mamabear12 · 14/02/2021 15:50

Make sure he takes a multi and gets enough protein and fat plus veggies in his meals. Does he at least eat balanced meals when eating?

firesidetartan · 14/02/2021 15:53

If I didn't offer him food at meal times he really wouldn't bother.

Hmm. It's hard to know if this would actually be the case.

A slim teen that eats at mealtimes is not really of any concern.

Reinventinganna · 14/02/2021 15:55

How is his body image? Is this a sudden change?

I agree with @jimmyhill although you know him best.

Aisforharlot · 14/02/2021 15:56

Look up ARFID

MissMarpleDarling · 14/02/2021 15:57

My sons like this. I have to constantly encourage him to eat dinner so atleast he has had 1 meal a day. Hes very skinny but just not underweight (don't know how as hes skin and bone) so drs don't seem bothered.

Bunnybigears · 14/02/2021 15:58

My DS is 13 and doesn't eat for pleasure (unlike me) to him food is fuel. He eats at meal times and makes sure he eats protein carbs and veg. As soon as he is full he stops eating. He is at the very lowest point of heth weight but is 6 foot tall so it doesn't seem to have done him any harm.

Toasty280 · 14/02/2021 16:00

If it's always been the same then I wouldn't worry, would only worry if it was a new thing.
I was very much like your son, I just didn't enjoy eating, I found it boring. I did start eating more as I got older. I have a 14 year old who is the same.

partyatthepalace · 14/02/2021 16:10

If he’s always been like this I wouldn’t worry.

There is a fixed idea about teen boys that they always go through a massive eating phase - they don’t all. If he starts a growth spurt and does fall underweight because food is not of much interest, then just look at simple things to add calories - butter, peanut butter and get him to down a protein shake mid morning.

Thewinterofdiscontent · 14/02/2021 16:10

My DS 16 is much the same. He’ll get himself a sandwich and a satsuma if he gets hungry at lunchtime but isn’t overly bothered by food. He has loads of chocolate left over from Christmas in his room. Granny got him four bottles of J2O for Christmas and he only finished them on Friday.
He’ll have what I cook in the evening and eats everything from Thai to roasts. I’m pleased when you see the threads from exasperated mums who constantly gave to restock the cupboards.

Is he an only? Mine is and think partly it’s down to never having to fight over food.

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