I know it shouldn’t matter but it does - is it too late for me to have my swan moment?

[FanOfTheCheese]

I’m 38 my obese, skin terrible, decent hair and boobs but definitely not a head turner!
I was somewhat attractive around 27-33 I’d lost a ton of weight after first child and my bmi was around 22, made an effort with make up and clothes And although not ‘beautiful’ I was quite attractive in my way. My husbands friends often said how did you end up with her she’s too nice for you kind of thing.
Anyway fast forward a few tough years - ptsd, comfort eating, depression. I look like crap.
I would love to be beautiful to be attractive but I don’t know if it will ever happen for me is it too late for an ugly duckling transformation?
Has anyone become attractive later on?

I'm in a similar place myself with age, lots of weight since my youngest child, skin suffering etc. Although I don't think I'm in a place I can give the physical and mental energy to turn things around at the moment I believe I still can.

It's about addressing what got you there though. Atm I'm comfort eating a lot due to stress in all directions from work life etc. I know I need time and space to address it. Kids were up 6am and just gone to sleep at almost 10pm and are very full on all day with minimal help from DH due to his work. Time for meal prep/exercise and downtime is non existent.

I'm hoping my time with come in 6 months when my youngest starts school and hopefully the worse of covid is over this will give me the headspace to get back ontop.of things. You can do it!!

It's never to late to be what you want to be.
Take care of yourself,make time for yourself and above all be confident.

I hope so. I look awful atm I barely know where to begin. I need to do something, but feel I’m nearing 50 so all down hill for me. I don’t think lockdown helps. I will await others helpful advice. I need it too.

I just don’t think I know where to start either.
Diet probably.
Then a complete new wardrobe my style is basically big and baggy atm.
I don’t spend lots on make up Rimmel and Barry m. Friends wear mac and benefit. Is it worth the extra?

Its absolutely not too late. Women much older than you turn heads.
Beautiful is a bit more elusive as I think you either are or you're not, but attractive is possible for anyone.
I know we're supposed to say that all that matters is confidence and a smile, but I get that's not really helpful when you're looking for tangible results.
So I would say, if it really matters to you, take yourself on as a project, as though you were renovating a house. Look at yourself and decide what you would like to be different to make you feel more attractive.
Break it down. What would attractive hair look like to you, cut, colour, style? what would you like your body to look like, within what's realistic for you? Then the same for clothes.
Tackle each part step by step.
If nothing else its something to do to pass lockdown!

Those young uns call it a glow up. You Tube has examples of people going all out on a transformation.
Have fun with it!

You're not too old.

I'm the same age, the heaviest I've ever been, on maternity leave with a toddler as well and just feeling a bit wrecked.

But when I went back to work after my last maternity leave I nearly didn't recognise a colleague. At least ten years older than me and started heavier than I am, she'd lost loads of weight and now looks amazing. So I'm taking her as my inspiration, if she can do it so can I and so can you.

I think I'd feel a thousand times better about myself if I just ate less crap during the day, so that's my first aim.

Oh, and don't put being attractive on hold until you lose weight. Losing weight takes ages and is not the be all and end if of attractiveness. Diet and exercise certainly, but as a long term goal. Do some short term quicker fixes to start you off.

Drink a litre of water, cut sugar, eat more fruit, reduce junk food and move more.

thebloodsugardiet.com/

It really isn’t. Just got mine last year at 43. I’m the same weight now I was at 18, and feel so confident. It’s taken years (like 15) to get my head in the game, recover from past traumas and focus on ME and make myself a priority. I honestly don’t believe it’s ever too late. Ever. That’s not to say it’s ever easy either. But it’s definitely never too late.

Definitely not too late ... you're only 38!
I joined online dating for the first time aged 42. Never have I had so much positive attention from men.
I'm 46 now and no luck with it, but that's not the point!
Don't wish your life away, for goodness sake!

I've always been overweight apart from a few years when I was aged between 29-32. I don't know what triggered it but I just managed to find a groove of healthy eating and exercise that worked for me, although unfortunately kids derailed it all since then... but the main thing I wanted to say was I got friendly with another lady at the gym who was mid 40s and over a six month period she lost loads of weight, became super strong and fit and felt fabulous. I often think about her as my thin-spiration and she gives me hope that I can do it all again too, and I'm sure you can as well. It's all about figuring something that works for you, doing it slowly and sustaining healthy habits. I'm 41 now and convinced that this is my year to do it!!

Make your wellbeing a priority

A) as PP said you can look nice even overweight. I’m fat (properly fat) but I have nice hair, nice skin and some nice clothes when going out.

B) my husband wouldn’t talk to someone who would be so disrespectful to me. He thinks I’m fantastic fat or slim, dressed up or a scruff. My value as a person has nothing to do with my appearance.

And of course it’s not too late

You absolutely can do it, I started seeing a personal trainer and eating a calorie controlled diet 3 years ago at 45 - never felt more strong and confident.

I’m feeling more hopeful then maybe i could start making some improvements I definitely need to get some weight off and ASAP I feel so uncomfortable at this weight.

Nope it is never too late. I'm over 50 and working towards looking better in my clothes (and tbh fitting into a few again!).
You could come and join us here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight_loss_chat/4152495-LOSE-IT-February-2021
I have to warn you we are not at our most focused this weekend but lots of support and somewhere to be accountable.