Does anyone want to rehash CF guest stories?

[MyGazeboisLeaking]

These are my absolute favourites.

I've been through all those on Classics.

I know we haven't had guests for 100 years now,, but does anyone have any previous Cheeky Fucker / horrendous guest stories they want to share to give me something to read?!

Bump I love these

Not sure if this fits the bill!

But I had a small house party, and a friend brought one of their friends, I'd spent time making up a playlist of music they generally liked, kind of chart/pop stuff that wasn't to my taste. They had the cheek to go on my laptop, turn off my playlist and went on YouTube 'to put on some actual good music' and pushed me to to download Spotify so they could put on their own music. I said no, and lost respect, just found it very rude, and very pushy!

I don't know the whole story but does Mexican House Thief fit in here somewhere???

We were asked to host a couple who were the offspring of some friends of friends when the embarked on a working holiday visa.

I never met them, but went to airport to collect- not even a thank you.
They ate everything from out fridge (including ingredients for dinner), never bought a thing, over a 2 week period. Complained when I was out of bread- they were eating a loaf per day to 'save their money' by taking sandwiches when they left the house . They never ate out.

At the end they said 'we are off out to treat a friend to dinner for all the help she has given'.

We did not even get a card. But we did get a hefty phone bill after they left- calling back 'home daily.

Never again

How did you not say anything while this was occurring, @DemiGorgon?

A woman I had been friends with as a student but lost contact with phoned my mum's house to find my phone number and find out where I was living. She phoned me to meet up saying she was in my town. She brought a suitcase and just announced she was staying the night as she was attending a conference. She was gone early in the morning and left a thank you/ goodbye note. I didn't really mind thinking it was just one night but she had actually hidden her case and arrived back that evening. We had plans and she just made herself comfortable in the middle of everything. She asked if we wanted to see pictures of her baby but there was only one pic of the child and loads of her naked and pregnant. She stayed again and in the morning she complained about how she hadn't slept well and didn't like her breakfast. She casually asked if we had plans for the day and when we didn't she announced 'oh great you can help me with my conference things' I was too much of a push over in those days. I pretty much cut contact with her after that but did answer a call in a very noisy environment once where I knew I wouldn't stay on long. She was raging as she had turned up to stay again unannounced but we had moved out. Needless to say she didn't get my new address.

I let a homeless friend stay in my spare bedroom for a few weeks whilst she looked for a new flat. She was upset I wasn't home every evening and locked me out. She thought pots should be washed as soon as I'd finished eating. She didn't think the TV should be on every evening and thought we should read books, listen to music or chat. She didn't think pets should be kept indoors. She didn't think people should drink alcohol at home. She didn't think I should work in the evenings. She didn't like to be left on her own in the evenings. I shouldn't have coffee in the evenings. My work and computer shouldn't be left on the dining room table (which was my office space - we ate in the kitchen).

I understood fully why her housemates asked her to leave. Thankfully her idea that she take my (never offered) spare room was quickly abandoned when she realised I would not be getting rid of my 'dirty' pets.

I was flatting with my older sister when she got a phone call out of the blue from a childhood friend who had moved to the UK who asked if she could stay for a few days while she renewed her visa (we were in Sydney, Australia) and returned to the UK.
She turned up the next morning before we left for work.
She had called from her Singapore layover for somewhere to stay.
Turned out she had over stayed the visa issued on her NZ passport by 2 years and was trying to get a new one on an Aus passport (that she hasn’t even applied for!)
It took 12 weeks. So she lived on a blow up mattress behind our couch for 12 weeks.

Her boyfriend in the UK was a Vegan who wouldn’t let her eat meat, cook it in their flat or store it in the fridge.
She literally ate meat at every meal while with us. Breakfast was steak, bacon and eggs, roasts for dinner, rotisserie chicken sandwiches, ham or salami sticks as snacks.
Thankfully she was the sort of guest that cooked for everyone as she wasn’t paying rent. She would tell him on the phone that she was eating falafel while chomping on lamb chops.
My sister and I refer to it as meatifest 2006.

Love your username, @Mypathtriedtokillme !

This isn't really a guest, but back in the day I was buying a new flat in a small newly converted house - it was lovely, just done, pristine kitchen, bathroom etc.

After exchange I was given permission by the freeholder to go in and put up curtain poles etc.

Got the keys from the agent and went in all excited to find one of the builders was LIVING in it whilst they completed the other flats! Sleeping bag on floor, loo roll in bathroom, kettle & microwave in kitchen and stuff in the fridge.

I was gutted and complained to the selling agent who contacted the developer. Turned out the developer didn't give a toss (which became clear in as a myriad of problems become clear further down the line).

My CF experience was a friend who came to stay. They arrived and demanded that they be picked up from the airport and needed food as "the flight was so long" (it was 1hr). We got home and she made comments about where she'd be sleeping and the food we had in (why didn't we have "proper" milk/cereal/meat).

I had taken a day off work to show her around but she was more interested in shooting pictures for her Instagram account than actually looking at where we were.

She was a total PITA. Demanded we eat at her schedule and called me fat when I ate a snack. I told her to make her own way to the airport the next day and she could see herself out. I didn't hear from her for 2 years until she was coming back for work and wanted to stay again.... I declined.

I had a friend we met travelling who was Australian ask to stay for two weeks. She ate us out of house and home and only cooked ( with our ingredients) once. She hogged the internet and phone ( in the days of dial up). We drove her about to do touristy things and we paid for all the petrol. We took a drive over the amazing mountains and she just fell asleep. We wasted two weeks of our annual leave and she never once said thanks. No thank you card, nothing. Needless to say we ghosted her.... she couldn’t understand it.

We had a lot of guests staying with us as a child, as our 3-bed semi was conveniently close to Heathrow Airport and the Piccadilly-line for trips into London.

One very distant relative, an obese 60-something West Indian lady came to visit and splurged a lot of money on Oxford Street buying the fashion of the day such as mini-dresses, maxi dresses, sling-back shoes and her pride and joy, a blond “dolly-bird” wig.

On her last day she insisted on going out for a curry and visiting Windsor at the same time, and as DF wasn’t there to drive, we had to go on the Green-line bus. The sight of a large elderly Caribbean lady done up in a fancy dress topped off by a incongruous blond wig made loads of people qawp and comment on the bus. The gawping and commenting was more intense of the way back on the bus, and we had a struggle not to laugh ourselves. Luckily our guest didn’t seem to realise the commotion she was causing!

She left the next day leaving behind our gift which was a plastic sun-hat-loo-roll holder and lots of cigarette burn marks in my Mum’s best Brentford Nylons eiderdown.

Aaah...Brentford Nylons! @DickTurpinsCafe