Noisy Neighbours

[brunetteonthebus]

I posted this in chat the other week but it was very quiet so I'm re posting here because I'm really not sure if I'm being UR or not. Feel free to tell me if you think I am (I know you all will!)

We live in a semi, attached by one wall, no other neighbours close by. House next door sold a while ago. The new people seem nice and aren't moving in until they've done some work on the house. About six weeks ago they started and apparently there's about another six weeks to go.

My god the noise. It isn't decorating. It's ripping out walls. Ceilings. Central heating. Windows. Bathrooms. It's constant banging and smashing from 8am - 4pm every single day even weekends (they do start at 9am on the weekends generally but it was 8 today which woke me up on the one day of the week I get a chance to have a bit of a catch up).

It is lockdown. DH is (trying to!) WFH. I am trying to homeschool a reception age child with ASD who gets sent into meltdown at loud, repetitive noises. I also have a toddler to entertain, who gets woken at nap time constantly which is having a knock on effect on night sleep meaning we're now all back to getting broken sleep at night after a year of her sleeping through and she's cranky as hell. We're trying to record videos of reception child reading for the teacher to assess etc and you can't hear a damn word. Thank god it's half term this week.

Ordinarily, DH would be at work, eldest would be in school and I could escape the majority of it with the toddler being out and about. I could even borrow a key from my mum and use her house for me and the toddler to be in if needs be for a bit. But I can't. We're stuck here.

I'm using ear defenders for DD where I can, we've tried moving rooms, DH has got a headset from work. None of its helping much. We're literally living one wall away from a building site and it's doing me in.

Lockdown is hard enough, without this.

I said to DH this morning that I was going to (nicely) ask them to please not start until 9am at weekends as I was so pissed off at being woken this morning after putting up with it all damn week again. He said I can't do that, that they're not doing anything wrong (he thinks it's UR to speak to them even though he too is annoyed at the noise). He's worried about getting off on the wrong foot with them I think, although clearly they aren't worried about the same with us.

So, am I UR? Should I just put up and shut up?

To add, I'm very conscious of noise that we make. I don't let the children run screaming in the garden early doors, we don't play loud music or have parties, if the eldest has a meltdown I move to the other side of the house with her so as not to disturb people. And to be honest we have never heard normal neighbour noise from their house even though the previous occupants had two very screamy little boys and a very booming deep voiced Dad (I used to hear them in the garden) so I don't think a normal level of living noise really carries or is a problem. It's the building noise! The new people have a baby and I'm not bothered if it cries and we hear it, we're used to baby noise.

It's a rubbish situation but once they have completed their building work it will be a distant memory. There isn't anything that can be done because building work noise can't really be reduced unfortunately.

I don't think you're unreasonable to ask them to start later at weekends. In fact, on Sunday they shouldn't be doing noisy work at all.

But during the week, although it's shit, they're not doing anything wrong.

YANBU to ask for a later Saturday start.
I would side with your DH for trying to keep things conciliatory though as you might need those pennies in the bank later - in other words, if (as mine did) your DC gets louder in his meltdowns as he gets older, you have the building and new baby noise you put up with initially as a quid pro quo in future relations. Just a thought. As for surviving it in the here and now, siestas with the toddler at weekends?/knock the reading videos on the head/loud music (my son hates noises but loves rock, go figure)

Sounds hard but they’re not doing anything wrong. I wouldn’t say anything as you haven’t really got a leg to stand on so may risk souring relations before they even move in!

I would just leave it this time as it was the first time they started early at the weekend. And your DH is right, in that they aren’t doing anything wrong. Maybe if they repeat tomorrow ask them then.

If you’re just asking if you should ask them to start a bit later at weekends I think that’s fine and reasonable. I know other people who have done that in similar situation.

You might find thy do for a bit but then revert to previous behaviour though.

In my local council building work is not allowed on saturday afternoons or sundays so I would research the local regulations.

Not sure if it's just our council but they're not allowed to do building work Saturday pms, Sundays or Bank Holidays.

I feel your pain. Our attached semi was bought by a developer and we had drilling and banging from the start of the first lock down in March until Christmas. Unfortunately I'm working from home in a phone based role.

I hit the roof when they had carpet fitters hammering next to our bedroom at 8am on a Sunday. Fortunately it only happened once. He was fully aware of the rules though. Your neighbours may not be.

Unfortunately, there are no silent drills or other power tools. It must be irritating but they are actually pretty good to end at 4 pm, as theoretically they could continue much longer. Rules seem to differ from council to council regarding Sundays. I feel for you but in a way, this might speed up the period until they are finally done.

It's just because it's lockdown that it's causing me a problem. As I say usually eldest would be at school, DH would be in the office and me and the toddler could get out elsewhere for lots of the time.

It does grate that the rules are 'stay at home -where you live - except for work, essential trips or education' not 'stay at home unless you fancy doing up your second/new home because it's a convenient time, despite your neighbours being stuck at their home with no escape!' It just feels like a shitty time to do it. Yes doing it at a later time would just be kicking the can down the road but we would at least be able to avoid most of it then. Tradesmen are allowed to work I know, but this mostly isn't tradesmen, and he isn't a tradesperson and nor is she.

Bloody COVID. I wish it'd piss off!

On the positive I actually can't wait for them to move in! They noise won't be as bad then because as they jokily said to DH when they first arrived 'we can't have a baby here with all the work going on, it'll be too disruptive!' No shit!

Maybe I am just being a grumpy cow.

I don't think you're being unreasonable. Its a bit of a grey area in law, but given that the current lockdown is stay at home/essential travel only/businesses closed unless essential, then doing a full house renovation feels like a bit of a piss take. I mean, as an example our local recycling centre is technically open but the council have issued advice to people that they'd have to be able to justify why their 'tip run' is an essential journey, so as to remind people that lockdown isn't just a time to do DIY.

I do think it's worth explaining to your neighbours that you're at home 24/7 and asking whether they can change anything about the schedule of work.

You aren’t being unreasonable but neither are they. During the first lockdown my next door neighbours had 6 months of work done including and extension, new kitchen, lounge and bathroom. Again separated by one wall. Every vibration came into my house and omg it was torture. They used to start at 8am every day but thankfully didn’t come on Sunday. Fingers crossed for you it finishes soon.

YANBU but unfortunately there is not much you can do except for the weekend early start and it would be quite reasonable for you to go round and ask them to start later for that.

Our NDNs had a massive extension (more than doubling the size of the house, god knows how they got planning) and when I say it drove me to distraction, that is a complete understatement. It took about 9 months and the noise was horrendous. I let it go except for one time when they started about an hour before they should... I leant out an upstairs window and screamed 'SHUT UP', I just couldn't help it, it had ruled my life for so long.

The NDN brought round a poinsetta just before Christmas and said.. I hope the noise hasn't disturbed you too much. Of course it bloody has, it was like living in a bulding site every day for months! However, for the sake of harmony with neighbours, I didn't say much except ask when it was going to be finished!

You have my every sympathy OP. Think how lovely it will be when it's finished!

@MyFavouriteIsWhoeverlsQuietest

YANBU to ask for a later Saturday start. I would side with your DH for trying to keep things conciliatory though as you might need those pennies in the bank later - in other words, if (as mine did) your DC gets louder in his meltdowns as he gets older, you have the building and new baby noise you put up with initially as a quid pro quo in future relations. Just a thought. As for surviving it in the here and now, siestas with the toddler at weekends?/knock the reading videos on the head/loud music (my son hates noises but loves rock, go figure)

Siestas with the toddler at weekend don't work unfortunately, they're just as noisy at weekends! And I have to do the reading videos. I have to video my eldest doing her phonics and send it to her teacher to assess where she's at/how she's progressing to get feedback from the teacher and get the next set of books (we swap weekly). Also have to video her doing maths etc and send it, as the children are too young for proper live lessons (they're Reception year). They just have live circle time on zoom each day other than that it's watching videos and learning with me (with videos) with worksheets etc.

We struggle to hear the zoom circle time too, even though we've moved to the bedroom at the other side of the house. Then eldest will often meltdown because she's trying to listen to the zoom, and can't because of the loud noise, she can't cope with conflicting noise. I've had some limited success with her wearing headphones plugged into the laptop so will continue to try with that.

It's just making life so miserable, and so much harder than it already is.

I think that there are time constraints on weekends and public holidays. I would ask them to start later and finish sooner on weekends.

We had a whole summer of building work with one neighbour once and it was beyond distressing. The builders were loud and had a loud radio on. The owner wasnt interested because he was never there. This must be insufferable during lockdown.

My god, just have a face-to-face conversation. Sure, it's all legal but it's not considerate. I'd be horrified to know I'd driven my new neighbours batty (years after the fact) and would much prefer to know up-front so we could work out an arrangement like every second day or similar.

Yabu

@MissMarpleDarling

Yabu

Thank you for your valuable input there

This situation would seriously pee me off!

It's not like you get anything at the end of all this (which makes it harder to tolerate) they get a refurbished home you have to put up with it all until it's completed.

I'd get to know them, then let slip things that are bothering you and see if they can compromise, maybe start later and finish later on weekends. Hopefully they are good people but you never know. It's reasonable to expect a break from this situation, it's obviously wearing you down and impacting on your family's life. Don't just suffer this. They are unreasonable but probably don't understand what extent they are affecting you all. Something has to change.

The house next door is being renovated and it’s a big job, we aren’t attached fortunately. I am glad it sold now as I hope it will all be done by summer so it doesn’t affect us going in the garden. As long as it’s within regs then I would just let them get on with it. The work will be over more quickly the longer the days they work there.

Though there are some local variables for weekend times, generally builders are permitted to work 8-6pm during the week, 8-1pm Saturday, not at all Sunday unless an emergency.

I too would check your local council website. They should at least give you Sunday as a later start. But check it and then ask them to stick to it.

the shorter days that they work, the longer it will go on - the 8-4 sounds reasonable, you could discuss shorter hours at the weekend, and as others have said, check any restrictions imposed by your local council.

If they've just purchased the house, seems entirely reasonable to do the work they need before moving in; if they moved in and had it done around them in a few months time, it would probably take longer as well.
I do sympathise - I'm ill with covid and could happily sleep all day, but had people digging up the road outside for most of the week.

If the house is unoccupied, why is it a covid risk? There are certainly building projects going on near me (several I can think of are organised by the council, so presumably legal)

It is a massive disruption during lockdown. The builders are 'allowed' to do building work 6 days a week within limited times. A polite word with the neighbours maybe useful. They are causing bad feeling right at the start and may not appreciate how disruptive their builders are.

Such a frustrating situation for you op. I have put up with building works since May 2019 with starts as early as 6.30 am. They just told the Council they didn't! I even had recordings but they were not interested. Other neighbours have had confrontations with them. They also run businesses from the premises.

Just before Christmas, I got a letter from the Council about a windchime I have had for around five years. I tie it in when windy. I know it is them and the joke is they have chimes themselves! I would go round and ask them to not work on Sunday and start later Saturday. Whilst it will prolong works, it will make it clear it has had an impact upon you. You will also be able to gauge their attitude.