To put a neighbour dispute to AIBU

[StormzyInaDCup]

Two neighbours, living in an area that was once all council housing and is still 80% council housing. Neighbour A owns their property, Neighbour B rents from the council. There has been an issue of noise, between the properties, escalating during lockdown.

Neighbour B states that the walls are thin in the properties, noise does travel. They try their best to be quiet, but it's lockdown.

Neighbour A states that they have more right to live in peace because they own their home and Neighbour B should be more respectful because of that.

Neighbour B heard this and is now furious at Neighbour A. Neighbour A feels they have said nothing wrong.

Who is BU?

Neighbour A - YABU
Neighbour B - YANBU

I am neither by the way. Merely trying to settle an argument 🙄

Well clearly both have a right to live in peace, it’s nothing about ownership v council

What sort of level of noise is b making?

Owning vs renting doesn’t give you more rights. But if B is causing a nuisance they need to be quiet.

A has no greater rights in respect of noise etc simply because they own their home, but B should be sure to check that there isn’t more they could be doing to reduce noise, because living with noisy neighbours is a misery.

B has children who can be rather noisy and apparently shout but B states they can hear A drunkenly arguing with his DH and having people round who they should not, also consequently being too noisy.

B does not complain about the noise. A will bang the walls.

So noise on both ends really. Which is worse, I'm not sure. The comment appears to have tipped an already sensitive situation into full scale neighbour wars 🙄

The fact that A has even gone so far as to say they think they deserve more peace because they own their house means i would doubt their ability to think rationally as to whether the level of noise is unacceptable. B is rightly angry.

Following your update, B should also bang on the walls when they hear noise. A is living in cloud cuckoo land.

A sounds like an arsehole for the comment about having more right to peace. It's offensive and completely incorrect.

Sounds like both actually need to do what they can to moderate the noise levels though. Does A actually have people going round who shouldn't be there? That's the worst thing either have done by the sound of it.

A sounds a right twat

Well from what you posted how can anyone think A is in the right...
-They have used the 'l own my house' phrase
-They are breaking lockdown rules by having people over
-They are banging walls and having drunken arguments
B from your info, rents and has children making everyday noise...who on earth would say they are the wrong ones?

A needs bringing down a peg or two just for their sheer inverted snobbery.
A and b need to grow up.

Thanks for the replies, they really help. @snuggybuggy to the point! 😂

I thought the ownership comment was a bit much when A owns a right to buy home anyway. I am not on board with the 'alledged' breaking of the lockdown rules.

Your update has painted A in a really bad light, but I suspect that is what you intended - so as to deflect from B being the issue.

Yes, A shouldn’t have made a comment about having more rights (own homes v renting). Maybe it was said out of sheer frustration because the noise from B’s house has become unbearable.

I have experienced this. Lots of shooting, kids up to all hours - jumping on beds, shouting, screaming and then the parent shouting and swearing at them to shut up. They had a dog that was left out to bark at all hours for ages. Yes, there were times when I banged on the wall because at 1am in the morning, I couldn’t be bothered to get up, get dressed and knock on their front door.

She was in her back garden with a friend one day and very loudly said (so she knew I could hear) ‘I ignore the bitch next door, she thinks she is better than us because she owns her house’. I went straight out and admit I did retaliate and said it was nothing to do with owning my own home - yes, I was better than her because I had respect for my neighbours and didn’t act like scum who thought she was entitled to disturb everyone and had no respect for people who actually had to get up and go to work each day.

As you can tell. I still get annoyed about my noisy neighbour, but it has a massive impact on people’s lives. I put up with her for nearly 18 months, until she was finally evicted. If you are B, keep the bloody noise down and then and only then can you start to complain about A.

Shouting not shooting.

Neighbour A is BU for thinking that owning their property gives them a greater right to peace and quiet than Neighbour B.

But Neighbour B needs to make an effort to dial it down a bit.

Both are pretty unreasonable for different reasons.
Neighbour A for thinking owning their home gives them privileges over B as to how they live
Neighbour B for being noisy and tit for tat in doing the "whatabout A making noise as well"
Presumably B is used to living in a noisy house so hasn't previously been bothered about A, but now A is complaining about noise, B is going to as well.

As pp said, they all need to grow up and shut up.

I've more sympathy for B at least in theory in that kids will inevitably make some noise and it's not like there is anywhere else to take them right now. Obviously B might not be covering themselves in glory either and if it was noisy kids all day and night or constant screaming that would annoy me.

Getting drunk and having drunken rows isn't necessary at all.

The issue at hand is the noise. Everything else is accompanying squabbling.

B is the one making the noise
. Once they stop it will all settle.

Visitors in lockdown has nothing to do with it.

I suspect you are B, so YABU.

Utterly obnoxious to claim that a mortgage gives you more rights to peace and quiet than rent.

Wrong in terms of law, any complaint to the council about noise or to the police about anti social behaviour, domestic violence or lockdown infringement will be dealt with the same, tenure of housing makes no difference.

Responsibility to maintain peace and quiet bare also equal.

It’s hard living in a terrace or semi next to young children if you find yourself unexpectedly working from home. But it doesn’t mean B is being unreasonable.

But A is being a knob, claiming king of the castle.

I sympathise with A purely because I've had to move because no one would just try and not be noisy. A will spend a fortune to move. A must begrudge paying for a mortgage and associated costs and it's so noisy.

Both are entitled to quiet enjoyment and whilst noise is not harassment it is so upsetting. B does need to be careful though because if this escalates they could lose their home.

Everyone is feeling it with lockdown. I do not understand why people cannot be quiet

I just popped back to the thread to look at the comments. I am not B, I am both their neighbour and listen to them both complain to me and get upset about it. They do not communicate with each other over it, other than the wall banging.

I do believe they are both unreasonable, it was livable until that comment was made and heard.

“Made and heard”

Clearly A didn’t say this to B.

So explain who C is, aka the shit stirrer who made it all worse?

Neighbour A is a snob and thus unreasonable.

A needs to be careful. She will need to declare neighbour disputes when she comes to selling her house in future.

Neighbour A is a misplaced snob who evidently thinks they’re better than B because they own their council house. It’s still ultimately a council house and ownership really doesn’t matter.

You just have to read posts on here to know that home owners think they're far superior to people in council houses. People are dicks.

But noise from a neighbour in an already stressful situation can bring tensions to a head.

It sounds as if they're both noisy buggers tbh.