Sleepovers

[ConkerBonkers]

What age is usual for children to go on sleepovers at a school friends house? My child has been asked on a sleepover once covid has settled and when it's allowed again. He is in year 2 so certainly too young at the moment I think? (Aibu) but what is the consensus on this? Fwiw, for context, I know the mother from the school gates but have not met the father of the child who invited my child. I have no frame of reference for this so please help me, so I can approach this correctly.

Whatever age I would always do a meet the parents and tea after school first. Your dc might not feel comfortable at the house or miss you. I think those factors are more important than age.

Once you are confident they are up for an over night and you are happy with the home and family the age is irrelevant for me.

Mine were junior school age, Year 4 at the earliest. They had lots of play dates/birthday parties beforehand so plenty of opportunities to meet the parents. I would need to know them fairly well and be confident they knew my child well before having them to stay overnight. Although I hated hosting them so I did as little to encourage them as possible!

I haven't got to this stage yet with my own but I'm a rainbow leader and we have taken our girls who are 5 and 6 away for the night. Obviously not all of them want to come as they feel they are too little but the ones that do come love it. I think you should see what you son wants to do, maybe a play date first but like a whole afternoon and then build it up.

What age is year 2?

I'd say maybe 8+ would be ok

My oldest dd started to have sleepovers in year 2. My other dd had friends to sleep here from that age but hasn’t wanted to stay away overnight.

My ds never was 11
Dd was 10
And only with people that we knew very well

Ds was 11

I don’t see it as that huge a deal; if they’re unhappy we would pick them up.

My dd was 6, nearly 7. It was the done thing with her group of friends.

I used to have sleep overs at a friend's house when I was about 8. The parents would have blazing arguments, that would often turn physical. I felt too embarrassed/shocked/scared to tell my parents as they were all quite friendly. I have a 6yo and will definitely want to be the host when he wants sleepovers with friends.

I wouldn't allow it that young unless I knew the family well - having visited their house, etc. Overnight is a long time, especially if they get unsettled because the other family do things differently. Even just mealtimes can be quite scary if it's not like home.
Even for playdates with little ones I think there's nothing wrong with "they can be a bit shy, is it okay if I come with him this time".

We did let DD go away for the weekend at 10 with a family we didn't know very well (and a mobile phone).

Otherwise I think we managed to avoid the whole sleepover palaver until her 11th birthday.

My eldest was prob 6/7 but he id young one in his year and it was at friends from nursery whos house he had been to for tea and to play etc so wAs comfortable and I had met both parents multiple times, prob 8/9 before he went to a sleepover at a friends who's parent I had only met/ seen a couple times in school playground , but he always went to tea at someones before sleepovers
Younger ds was probably about 7 but again had been to tea and they had been to ours etc
But you know your child best and what feel comfortable with
Mine have had couple friends who have not wanted to do a sleepover as often boys would have them for birthdays and have 5/6 so in that case the child would come for day / early evening and then parent pick them up
My friends daughter wouldn't go to a sleepover until she was 10/11 as she just didn't want to sleepover anywhere

We held our first for dd1's 7th I think. The dc had been for a couple of sleepovers with friends before that, so must have been 5 and 6. They were with families who we knew pretty well.

My DS was 6 but we knew the family well.

Mine are secondary school age. As a survivor of child sexual abuse I know how little we actually know about people and I’d rather my primary aged children were safely at home with me than risk their safety. It’s just “Mum’s rule” and my teens had/have no issue with me doing this. (And tough if they did, it’s my responsibility to keep them safe.)

7/8? By that time I’d have a pretty good idea of the family and I don’t think I’d worry about perverts. It doesn’t seem a very likely thing on a sleepover.

My son has been on sleepovers from about age 5, but only at 2 certain friends houses, whose parents I am very good friends with. I also knew for sure he would be very happy there. He's in year 2 now and I would let him sleepover at any friends house if he was asked, but I know all the mums of his friends pretty well.

Yeah if I haven’t met the dad / they haven’t even been round for a play date I wouldn’t be allowing a sleep over. I’m over cautious and want to avoid sleep overs as much as possible. Ideally holding off until they are very late primary school or secondary school age. Happy with play dates and lunches / dinners but sleepovers worry me more (I’m definitely over protective)

Mine were having sleep overs from foundation stage, but the friends they had over they had gone through nursery with from the baby room so i knew the families really well by that point. My youngest even went on a 4 day camping trip with her best friend in year one.
All depends on you and your child.