AIBU - for not seeing my parents?

[ennaycul]

My parents are elderly (mum 70+), dad mid 80s. Dad has health problems, heart disease etc. They have been shielding. I have barely seen them other than from a distance or FaceTime. I did all their shopping during the first lockdown, so they didn’t need to go to the shops. They have now been offered the vaccine and are reluctant to have it! I don’t get why to be honest but if that’s their choice then so be it. However, I do not feel I can go and see them and I may bring the virus to them, so told them I won’t be coming round if that is their choice. My kids & myself could easily pick up the virus from school/work without realising it and I don’t want to be the one who spreads it to them. My parents are making me feel like I’m being unreasonable. I just feel if they wanted to see me & the grand kids they would just get it done!

Not unreasonable at all. If you give then Covid and they die, then (to be absolutely awful but also honest) that's it all sorted for them, they're dead. You, however, have to live with the fact that you gave them the illness that killed them. Or god forbid, your kids do. No way I'd be risking having that on my conscience.

Ah god. I feel for you. The misinformation going around about the vaccine is really influencing especially older and impressionable people. I dont think you are being unreasonable. You would never be able to live with yourself if you gave it to them and they died. However, I am not sure what sort of quality of life they expect to have without the vaccine being highly vulnerable. Its a sad situation that could be helped with the vaccine. I would be very angry and upset if I were you. All I am living for is seeing my parents.

This is going to sound harsh and I will say it’s not a choice I have to make as all family has said they will have the vaccine. But my opinion is that if someone chooses to not have the vaccine i won’t be changing my life to accommodate their choice. To me they have decided that they’re comfortable living their life without the protection of the vaccine. If that’s not the case and they’re still worried they can stay away from me.

This is hard, I actually don't blame you.

As you say it's their choice, but they have to live with the consequences that you won't visit.

Good luck