To think he's stringing me along now?

[cookiecrumbles7]

I was dating a man for around 10 months up until we had a serious argument which resulted in us ending things. The argument was my fault which I took full responsibility for and have apologised. He blocked me on all social media apart from WhatsApp. A couple months went by and I decided to reach out and try to make things right as I still had feelings for him. I didn't expect him to reply but he did although they were very short and cold messages I would say. I asked him if he wanted to talk things over at some point to which he said yes. It came across as though he didn't really want to so I asked him if he was sure to which he replied with "yes I'm sure". After our conversation I noticed that he'd unblocked me on all social media and even requested to be friends on Facebook again. We didn't set a date for when we could talk so I've asked him tonight and his response was "weekend maybe". I could be overthinking but he doesn't seem at all interested.

My friend agrees with me and thinks he is stringing me along and has no intention of ever meeting up/sorting things out with me. I feel very confused because that's the feeling I'm getting but the fact he has unblocked me on social media and requested to be friends on Facebook again sends a different message. I feel he is sending mixed signals at this point and I'm holding onto something that isn't there (for him anyway). He doesn't seem the type to play games and I don't think he'd want to purposely hurt me but I'm just not sure why he wouldn't tell me if he's not interested so we can both move on properly. I fully admit I was in the wrong when we argued but I don't think I deserve to be treated this way.

Any advice? Am I being played here?

@Throckmorton sorry for not mentioning it in my op but when I reached out to him to apologise I made it clear I wanted to try and make things right and get back together. We also live over an hour away from each other so I definitely wouldn't drive all that way just to be friends, I could probably do that over text if that makes sense.

You’ve posted this before

Erm, no I haven't ?  . @Happycat1212

Ok... there was literally an identical thread a few days ago....

Did he try and reassure you when you talked about your insecurities? Or did it just blow up into arguments? Sounds a bit sad that he's got 1000+ friends on fb, it reminds of the MySpace days, and I find men with little to no social media v. attractive (unicorns). Arrange a day/time if you really feel you want to but if he flakes then I'd leave it be... he's 34 with kids, you're 25 and free! Live your life.

I'd walk away from this if I were you. The feelings for this relationship are yours, not his.
He didn't try to contact you as you made it clear that you didn't want him. If he really wanted you he'd have put up a bit of a fight as he'd have thought that you were mistaken.

If I were him, I wouldn't want to be with somebody so insecure that she didn't trust me and started arguments about my social media and potential contact with other women.

If I were you, I wouldn't want to be with somebody quite a bit older who already has children. You're still so young - becoming a stepmother can be hard work and complicates things if you want children of your own.

I really don't think this is a match made in heaven, do you?

Surely what with global pandemic etc it's not really the time to be messing around with this sort of thing

Ah - given he knows how you feel, then yes it does sound like he's not really that fussed. It doesn't sound like he's worth pursuing. Sorry.

That is what I'm thinking @Throckmorton

Your 25, you have many years ahead, dont waste time on someone who only see's you as an option.

I think I'm more angry at myself. I do think at first he genuinely wanted to be with me but I've scared him off with my insecurities and trust issues. I ruined something good, hopefully I will learn from it

There shouldn't be this much drama this early, it's supposed to be fun, getting to know each other, having a laugh.

Move on

It could be that he's just a bit wary. Friending you on social media smacks a bit of 'ok, I'll like you again because you're toeing the line', but that could just be cynicism on my part!
I'm not sure this guy is for you, but good luck anyway.

For a 10 month relationship, it all sounds rather complicated / intense. I would move on

Maybe you scared him off, but maybe he did make you insecure in which case he's not worth it and actually you've just saved yourself months or years of heartache by finding that out early on! Try to forget him - onwards and upwards and find someone nice who isn't a massive stress but who instead makes you happy

If I were you, OP, I would not pursue this. Even if you did get together and talk, it's not the same anymore and you'd' be forever on the back foot. That's no basis for any relationship and the one you had is gone. You really can't make this equal now, whatever you do.

I would cut my losses and block him from everything - maybe send one message beforehand - "Sorry, this isn't for me, my mistake"... and then block so there's no possible reply.