An update- my cougar romance

[Cassavaflower]

Hi
Sometime in December 2019 I wrote an AIBU because I was attracted to a much younger man whom I met at work.
There were a couple of hiccups along the way- we are from different cultures not to mention the 15 year age gap- however I had such lovely messages when I posted initially and i wanted to update and say: we are getting married!
We are having a simple ceremony and a party in the summer- all being well with Covid.
I never ever thought this could go anywhere but he is my best friend and I just wanted to share the happy news!

@Cassavaflower

Thank you all so much, it still doesn't feel real! So lovely to read all the beautiful messages especially as tomorrow is the anniversary of my mum's passing. She would have loved my fiance 😥 Not seen him much because of this weather but excitedly making simple plans To be honest it doesn't really matter about the fancy venue or honeymoon, just want to be his wife Thank you again for the warm wishes 😍

Wow, I never saw you old threads, just read them. So you've never had a disagreement, you haven't seen him for a while because of the weather - which is strange, considering it is the first anniversary of your mother's passing. You also had such doubts just this summer gone, about him that you joined a Muslim dating site and were considering meeting someone else because he blew hot and cold. I hope it works out for you, but I couldn't marry someone within six months of having such big doubts that I was considering starting something with someone else.

Cassava flower is he African? I have been buying cassavas for my African boyfriend lol

Are you not in a bubble together? Not really sure why else the weather would stop you seeing each other.

I have to agree with PP, I couldn't imagine agreeing to marry someone after such a relatively short time in what doesn't seem like a committed set up, especially where there are children involved.

I remember your thread, what an amazing update! Congratulations 🥳👏🏾

Aww @Grenlei you’re such a bundle of fun aren’t you, bless your heart!

Good for you OP - life is short, why shouldn’t we find happiness?

I had a wobble because of the age and thought I should be sensible but he has allayed all those fears. I have thought about all the various factors and we are going ahead because we love each other. Not living together yet.
Thanks for all the nice messages
@Vixyboo he is not African, that's my cooking obsession- I'm gluten free and try all the different flours

Pp is right. I wouldn't even be in a committed relationship, never mind considering marriage with someone who I hadn't formed a bubble with. You need to get to know him better and his children.
How we'll do you really k no w no him. Love isn't enough reason to get married. It may be romantic in a Disney fairytale kind of way, but that's not what real life marriage is

I'd be horrified to be in your " fairy tale". It just doesn't seeem like real life

Thank you so much for updating and....

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmm. I hope it all turns out well for you and he is the one for you. I can't help thinking, though, about a woman I worked with who met a man much younger than her from overseas and ended up marrying him after only a short time. She paid for him to learn to drive, to take classes so he could pass citizenship exams, gave him money when he said a family member was ill and had to pay for hospital treatment, bought him a car. It turned out he had a religious marriage to a woman in his home country and was sending the money to her. That marriage wasn't recognised in this country so divorcing him was made extra difficult.

I don't want to put a downer on what I hope is a happy time for you, but please be careful.