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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that people look down at care work

53 replies

ManilaLuzon · 11/02/2021 13:14

I get that it's something which doesn't require a Degree etc. Nor does it usually require experience.
However I've heard and seen people looking down their noses at it and thinking it's beneath them, even though it's a very important job looking after vulnerable and sick people who depend on you.

People see it as 'wiping bums'. In my support worker role I've never had to wipe anyone's bottom, I earn above minimum wage and depending on hours can earn 20-23k a year, though I'm aware this isn't the same for everyone.

I don't think some jobs are more important than others but I sometimes think people don't realise that the service users would likely die if they didn't have people supporting them.

I can understand why people see things this way but its still a shame, would be interested to hear from other care and support staff.

OP posts:

PinkiOcelot · 11/02/2021 15:16

I certainly don’t look down on care work or think it’s beneath me. I don’t actually know anyone who does.

My mam is in a care home and I think the carers are marvellous. I couldn’t do what they do. Certainly don’t think it’s beneath me though. I think they deserve to be on a much higher salary than they are. It may not require a degree but it certainly requires a special type of person to do it.

Aprilx · 11/02/2021 15:18

I have never heard or got the impression that anyone looks down at those that are in care work. I think the opposite.

raspberrymuffin · 11/02/2021 15:22

I don't look down on care workers but would absolutely hate to do it myself. I am not a "people person" and would find it excruciatingly awkward - I really don't have the skills to make someone feel comfortable and safe and respected while providing personal care to them. It's very possible that when I talk about this without explaining myself properly I sound like I'm looking down on care work but I will try harder because I absolutely don't, I think it's incredibly important work using skills which are grossly undervalued (because it's "women's work" probably) which doesn't get anywhere near the level of appreciation it deserves.

And you should be paid more! 20k is an answering the phones wage, it's not enough for a job with life or death consequences.

bloodywhitecat · 11/02/2021 15:25

I have worked as a TA in a special school, a carer in a children's hospice and as a clinical nursery nurse on a neonatal ward and on a team caring for children with complex medical needs in their own homes (the children were home ventilated, many of them were fed by PEG, Mic-key, or Jej and they nearly all had complex epilepsy). All of the families regarded our role highly but society as a whole, less so. In my last job on the complex care team we were often the family's lifeline, our care visits meant they could do the basics that everyone else takes for granted like going to the supermarket or taking the siblings out for some one on one time, and our night visits meant they could just sleep. I am now a foster parent which is another role that lots of people think just involves looking after someone else's child/ren and is undervalued.

StarCat2020 · 11/02/2021 15:27

I think care workers do a fantastic job that I couldn't do.

shinynewapple21 · 11/02/2021 15:30

You a probably right in some cases . There are people who will always look down on carers, shop workers and admin staff .

I think a lot of people though are quite respectful as they realise it's a job they wouldn't be up to themselves .

Dobbyafreeelf · 11/02/2021 15:46

I'm a self employed carer and have worked in care for 11 years. In just about all settings before setting up on my own 18 months ago.

Up until I started working for myself I was pretty much always paid minimum wage. Hours all over the place and yes I do feel I wasn't respected. I was constantly asked when I was going to get a real job and criticised for not being able to buy my own home ect. My siblings have both gone to work in the financial sector and both will have bought property by the age of 30. I will probably never be able to buy my own home, probably never have proper holidays or other luxuries which my parents and siblings take for granted. Actually writing it down makes me feel quite cross!
But I work hard. I enjoy the role I now have. I charge a fair rate but less than the agencies. I'm starting to feel the respect change a little. The pandemic has helped a little bit in terms of relatives understanding the importance of the job I do.

calmearth · 11/02/2021 15:47

I did home care and nursing home care work in between my degrees and it was hands down the most rewarding and interesting job I have ever done! I absolutely loved it! I met some really wonderful old people and their families and loved learning about people's histories. I only stopped when I went back to uni.
I now work for the NHS and would go back to care in heartbeat, if it payed enough money for me to survive on.
Hats off to all the carers currently working in the community and care homes during Covid!

VainAbigail · 11/02/2021 16:11

I’m a carer and yes we are underpaid and undervalued. A lot of people look down their noses at us and that includes families and clients. I do enjoy my job but a pound or 2 extra p/h wouldn’t go amiss!

combatbarbie · 11/02/2021 16:17

Well I am about to finish my 23yr military career and am looking at the caring companies in my area to top up my monthly pension. I don't want a 2nd career and I also don't want/need to work full time. If anyone wanted to look down their noses at me that's fine, however try and look down their nose because they think I'm stupid or lazy then I may have something to say. Being a carer isn't a "career choice" per se but it's no different to working in a supermarket IMO. A job is a job.

randomsabreuse · 11/02/2021 16:19

I don't look down on it but wouldn't do it if it were the bet paid job in the world because I'd be crap at it and feel guilty about how crap I was. See also teaching, early years childcare/teaching and nursing. Could just about do medicine because that is more problem solving than truly personal. Could probably also teach engaged and interested older children, possibly but would not enjoy pastoral type stuff.

I accept who I am and work within my comfort zone and limitations.

KatieB55 · 11/02/2021 16:44

Many private providers are making huge profits while paying their staff very poor wages and very frequently under-staffed. The job is harder at the moment when residents don't have visitors. The staff are working really hard to provide care and facilitate phone/video contact with families.

WeAllHaveWings · 11/02/2021 17:03

My SIL is the manager of a care home. She has two distinct types of staff.

Those who see it as a vocation (and put up with the shite pay), actively chose and want to work in the sector, love working with the clients etc. They also have a good work ethic.

Then there are those that are there because, for whatever reason they have to be, barely respect their clients, do the bare minimum and their work ethic is shoddy.

The former work away as silent angels doing an amazing job. Unfortunately the latter, even when they are in the minority they make a big impact. They are the ones you hear about the most, the ones that are vocal about running down the role and are the reason for the public perception.

It needs to be harder to get a job in care homes, such as obtaining and keeping up a qualification while working to show commitment, attract the right people to the job that want to develop within it, and weed out those that you wouldn't let care for your pet hamster nevermind your parents. Pay the right people an appropriate wage, but that will drive up costs even more so will never happen.

Darnley · 11/02/2021 17:04

My adult son has 24/7 carers, who live with us. I think they are fucking awesome....
We treat them as simply part of the family, who happen to be providing a level of care and expertise that we can’t, to another member of the family.
Mind you, I know that’s not always the case. They have some horror stories of being seen as servants etc. They don’t get paid anywhere near enough for what they do.

Incyra · 11/02/2021 17:25

@combatbarbie

I'd say if us a career choice actually!

PandemicPalava · 11/02/2021 17:26

They do, it's the commercialisation of care. It's not like a lot of jobs as it's so personal, but not as personal as many would like to be able to be with people as it's a job.

katedan · 11/02/2021 17:29

I really hope that post COVID people will look at what workers were "essential" and were applauded and which ones are very well paid but made bo difference in a pandemic. Carers are very badly paid and deserve a lot more for the important work you do.

CrayonInThreeBits · 11/02/2021 17:35

"Wiping bums" itself is incredibly important.

If you can't wipe your own arse, having someone else who can do it quickly, effectively, with a minimum of discomfort, and while allowing you to feel you retain your dignity, is important to your comfort, social acceptability, physical health and mental health.

QueenPaw · 11/02/2021 17:41

I worked as a home carer when I needed a job and money quickly. Turns out I'm actually good at it despite disliking most people and being impatient
I was useless with being squeamish when I first started, it's underpaid and hard on your back. Especially if you're going to person after person and not enough time and constantly running behind
Knew I was doing ok when a notoriously difficult person gave me a box of chocolates and the whole office was stunned into silence as apparently he had never done that before

YorkiePud25 · 11/02/2021 18:10

I hear you. Carers/support workers are worth their weight in gold.
I'm often referred to as "not a proper nurse" or arse wiper because I'm a mental health nurse. It's bullshit. People also seem to think we get paid loads in care, but take into account the risks we face daily and the strain on our home lives

SphJane · 11/02/2021 18:15

Hey OP, fellow care worker here. I completely agree with you.

People who don’t work in care have no idea the pressure and responsibilities we have. People may look down on us but when the time comes that they or a loved one needs our services, they will change their opinions very quickly!

Shimmyshimmycocobop · 11/02/2021 18:21

I am another one in awe of the work carers do. I am a nurse and have worked in care homes in the past and know how hard they work.
Added to which my mum had home care for the 2 1/2 years after her stroke and the carers she had were truly special people who helped to brightener day when life was very tough. In fact I am tearing up now remembering how good they were to her and us as a family.
A huge part of why caring isn't valued by society in general is that its seen as womens work and therefore of lesser value than traditionally male jobs.

asdnamechange · 11/02/2021 18:23

Agreed op
If you don’t mind me asking, where are you based? 23k is a good salary to me for something that doesn’t require a degree!

Incyra · 11/02/2021 18:56

@YorkiePud25

I hear you. Carers/support workers are worth their weight in gold. I'm often referred to as "not a proper nurse" or arse wiper because I'm a mental health nurse. It's bullshit. People also seem to think we get paid loads in care, but take into account the risks we face daily and the strain on our home lives

Arse wiper? Unbelievable.

Howshouldibehave · 11/02/2021 19:01

I get that it's something which doesn't require a Degree etc. Nor does it usually require experience.However I've heard and seen people looking down their noses at it and thinking it's beneath them

People often do look down on jobs that don’t require experience or a degree....care work, childcare, cleaning, shop work-can’t see that changing, sadly.

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