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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone can't sleep as dont know what to do with their toddler in the morning?

80 replies

Lelophants · 11/02/2021 02:47

Honestly so bored to tears I could cry. I dont know what to do with him anymore. For hours we just walk across rooms watch him play with the same toys. It's so slow. I used to have loads to do and now I dont know anymore. Only so much I can clean with him there. Nothing that involves my laptop. No crafts things have worked so far. Our daily walk is his nap and I don't want to change that as his sleep is my one bit of sanity.

Feel like a rubbish mum.
I've always been such a busy person.

OP posts:
Bringallthebiscuits · 11/02/2021 05:18

When I only have my toddler to look after I put on the radio/a podcast or read out books. I find this helps a bit with the boredom. Lockdown has made looking after a toddler harder as there are no playgroups or places to visit anymore to break up the day :(

Curlysusie · 11/02/2021 05:28

Look up melody makers on Facebook. 10am live session or can watch old sessions x

Macake · 11/02/2021 05:53

I know exactly how you feel. Persist with something like crayons - my DC eventually scribbled a little. We play hide and seek (15 month version so just hiding behind the dining table etc). We do numbers and alphabet everyday (all through the day really) my DC loves the “simple songs” . I’m trying to focus on skills like using own spoon competently.

But yup all these things take up 5-10 min at best - it’s awful, many of us probably feel like we are failing right now. Unmumsnetty hug, you aren’t alone.

Pleaseaddcaffine · 11/02/2021 05:54

Will he play alone? If so let him and read.
I'm rubbish this Lockdown with mine but we did do themed stuff last one that lasted a day. Like we picked a book and did stuff based on it. Example read room. On the broom, thencolected sticks on a walk to make a broom (he found this hilarious) then I drew the characters and he very badly coloured them. I stuck them to the broom. We then watched room on broom on I player.
Sadly that took a whole day!!

RenegadeMrs · 11/02/2021 06:24

I absoultly sucks right now doesn't it? I used to swim, go on play dates, cafes, libraries, soft play... really miss it all.

Have you tried some simple baking or cooking? Cupcakes (from a kit is easy even of they taste rubbish) cheese straws and homemade pizza are hits at mine. Can also do salt dough modelling / painting. We did (crap) Christmas decorations, sil has done beads for bracelets. The local library isn't open but will do a 'click.and colect' service. Treasure hunts also a hit. I do two variations high effort (print pictures of what I want child to find and let her tick off) and low effort (write a list). If she is lucky there will be a treat in there somewhere but not always. Can do them inside and out.

Recently I've subscribed to a Toucan box and you can also buy activity kits from etsy for a few quid a time if money isn't too tight. Dd loves the process of opening them and is more likely to do the activity.

Sticker books - we've gone through so many.

This might sound vaguely productive but we usually get through 1-2 activities a day. Then a walk, playing / reading and screen time fills the rest.

For you; I agree with pp listen to podcasts / radio / audiobooks (also avaliable via libraries for free). Wireless headphones are my top buy of the pandemic.

Lockandtees · 11/02/2021 06:27

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candide47 · 11/02/2021 06:29

Jeez, I found it hard to entertain a toddler without lockdown. Hugs to you. I appreciate you are using your exercise time as nap time and ideally we would all stick to the letter of the rules but your mental health and your toddlers development are also important- consider making the odd additional trip to the park if you need to.

I found building a den often provided a lot of bang for your buck. This can be as simple as putting a big sheet over the table. A big bit of cardboard can do wonders if you can get hold of it. Mine got a lot out of that sort of thing.

Hang on in there!

candlemasbells · 11/02/2021 06:32

Pinterest has some good ideas for crafts and how to play differently with toys. We also like to do Steiner waldorf type things such as shapes with sticks, pictures from loose parts. Especially the activities based around different seasons. There’s loads of ideas for duplo on Pinterest
DS really likes the Thomas story about Thomas and the dinosaurs so will read that book, then build the railway (we haven’t got the correct trains) add the dinosaurs, sometimes he just builds the dinosaur enclosures with blocks or fences. He plays with it for a while. Then we talk about the colours, size etc of dinosaurs. He might watch something n the iPad and have a snack. Next dinosaurs in a tray of bubble bath or make dinosaur foot prints in play dough
We do activities based around a common theme about 3 t8mes a week and I do plan in.
The scholastic book website has good resources for extending stories, Lanka kade website has printables, often I don’t print them but use the worksheets to give me the ideas. We like singing songs on bbc schools radio nursery rhymes.
We’ve done activities based around ducks and the farmers duck story. Such as a duck hunt, you hide the ducks he finds them then you both count them, fishing ducks out of water with a net in the garden,

ForeverHomeSearcher · 11/02/2021 06:44

I definitely second getting out the house twice in a day if you do a nap walk. We used our daily exercise for napping in the first lockdown but toddler also got a lot of outside time in the garden in the morning. We're hardly using the garden now though because it's too muddy generally. I think as long as you're sensible and keeping your distance for others and not going anywhere too busy, it's ok especially as you're not meeting up with anyone.

SnuggyBuggy · 11/02/2021 06:45

You aren't a rubbish mum. This isn't a reasonable way to raise a toddler. They need a real life outside the home and there is only so much parents and toys can do.

speakout · 11/02/2021 06:45

So he isn't getting out to play?

You say you get out once a day but that is his nap time- so presumably you are walking around with him in his buggy?

You may find it easier to change things up a bit- if your toddler gets some time to play and exercise outside it will help him let off steam, and drain some energy.
So a morning walk with him awake, home for lunch, cuddle, a story and sleep early afternoon.
That will also give you an hour or two at home while he is asleep to do some quiet housework/rest/read, alone time.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 11/02/2021 06:49

Try and get out of the house with him (awake) every single day. Rotate around any local playgrounds, duck ponds/lakes, woods where he can pick up stuff to stick together for a picture/play hide and seek between the trees etc. If he's walking, make sure he isnt in the pushchair all the time, get him moving.

When he naps in the pram can you meet another friend for a SD walk and some adult chat?

ParadiseLaundry · 11/02/2021 06:54

What SnuggyBuggy said.

I have 18mo and also his 5yo brother so I'm lucky in the respect that they have each other and do play together sometimes. It is crap and no matter what we seem to do we all end up under stimulated.

We go out at least 2 times a day, park, shops, a walk, sledging (while we have the snow). Anyone who tells me I should only be going out once a day can kiss my arse, seriously.

RoxytheRexy · 11/02/2021 06:59

I absolutely get this. With my eldest I was out every day at Rhyme Time, Baby group, soft play. It’s so hard to entertain a toddler in the house. I can do all the stuff mentioned but he’s bored and I’m bored. Yes we have a walk with a scooter and a balance bike but it’s not the same as a nice warm baby group where he can lick some manky toys while I have a chat to other Mums

itsgettingwierd · 11/02/2021 07:00

Could you go out twice?

So once for a walk and he sleeps. Then again later on to a park or something and you have a coffee and he plays. You may find other parents you can chat to SD?

shouldistop · 11/02/2021 07:02

Get the toddler out for a walk first thing (preferably to a play park) the rest of the day will be easier. You can still have your walk for his nap.

MRex · 11/02/2021 07:03

My DS has always wanted to be out each day for exercise. He's happy going to the playground, the park, see the trains, look at big trucks by the main road, walking past closed shops... Most of life is interesting to a toddler and it gives more things for him to talk about. By 15 months he was on a scooter, have you tried your DS on one yet? It lets you go a lot further and it's an extra activity. Get a helmet and practice in the hall, attach a strap to pull him when he gets tired. For other toys, it's hard to make suggestions without knowing what you have, but open-ended play with blocks or characters are good, just join in rather than watching as it's less boring that way. DS has always liked seeing what we build as well. Cleaning and cooking - just include him in the tasks, he'll enjoy it as an activity while you get things done. However muddy you can still do gardening in waterproofs too.

Mol1628 · 11/02/2021 07:04

I agree with keeping him awake for the walk. Then if he will sleep at home use that fine for yourself.

CrazyOldBagLady · 11/02/2021 07:11

You don't say how old he is, but I have a 3 year old, and we tend to try and get somewhere in the morning and then play at home in the afternoon. We visit woods, playgrounds, the canal, a local field, beach/dunes, skate park. If we have nothing else to do then a trip round the estate on his trike and a stop at the local shop gives him some exercise. We have a bike, scooter and trike to make use of and some outdoor toys like a net, bucket and spare, kite and litter picker. We have a garden too so can play ball or badminton or in the mud kitchen. I have a couple of mum friends with similar ages children so we take exercise together with the kids on bikes once or twice a week.

In the afternoons we have lunch and half an hour of tele, then he can play or we paint or bake/cook or he helps me with the hoovering or laundry. He will play on his own for ages with play doh or kinetic sand, otherwise we read, play hide and seek, make things for special occasions like cards, decorations, or just let him play in the sink and pretend to wash up. I let him have a bit of bored time too so he finds something on his own to do, so I can tidy the place up or cook dinner. We also have a few games and jig saws to play together and a music box for "jamming" sessions.

He loves to help me and also learn to do things for himself so he has learnt to pour water from his own little jug and he has some kids knives so he can chop his own fruit. He can help make toast, tea, coffee, measure. Even getting dressed is a learning opportunity, you can teach him to get his coat or hoodie on easily by lying flat on the floor and letting him put his arms in and flip. Wellies are easy to put on, then pants and trousers.

It is really hard to keep them going all day in this weather, it does get better when the weather improves and you can play outside for longer periods. The older they get the more independent play you can encourage too. Spring is on its way! Have hope!

Submariner · 11/02/2021 07:22

Oh I feel for you. I can remember days counting down the minutes until 10am when the stay and play would open. (And depending when we'd woken up counting down the minutes until the coffee hatch opened!!) I take my hat off to any mum of a toddler in lockdown.

I definitely agree with others, take two walks a day. He's entitled to his exercise and he can hardly go alone can he?

Do you have a routine for each day? I would block in time for meals/snacks, time in the morning for a Pinterest type crafty thing, time in the morning for a walk. Afternoon nap in the buggy, more telly than normal, maybe some educational apps if you have a tablet available? I would sit down every weekend and plan in the crafty bits and stick it on the fridge. Get toddler to do things with you e.g. make his own snack, clean up his own place after lunch.

Then it's important to carve out time for you. Do you have a partner who can hold the fort in the evening while you do something you enjoy? Exercise video, reading, online course...? I agree with others, see if you can 'train' DS to play on his own by sneaking to the next room while he's happy. Door open of course, but many a sneaky biscuit or book chapter can be had like that! Schedule a regular zoom chat or buggy walk with a friend. Try and get a chunk of time to yourself on a weekend.

Italiandreams · 11/02/2021 07:25

It’s so hard isn’t it! My 2 year old is having to isolate at the moment , being at home for 10 days is so hard! She doesn’t nap anymore either ! I just try to alternate activities and not feel guilty for having more screen time than is ideal. Can’t wait until we can get out again!

Looneytune253 · 11/02/2021 07:26

Seriously? Go for 2 walks. No one will notice and let him play. It's so good for them to have fun outside and you might get twice the sanity in one day

SnuggyBuggy · 11/02/2021 07:27

Definitely do more than one walk if it helps.

MisiSam · 11/02/2021 07:28

I know how you feel mine is 22 months so I can't really do crafts ect, I feel like he watches so much TV at the moment!
I did find that he enjoyed helping me make cakes he really just watched but I made a big deal about how he made them he even rushed to show his daddy when he got home from work.
I think we will make brownies today and then dh and I can eat them as our pudding with cream tonight!

shouldistop · 11/02/2021 07:28

Is there actually a limit on the number of times you can go out for exercise? There isn't in Scotland.