Car Salesman - would this wind you up?

[FTM91]

Would this bother you?

Swapping cars at the moment so dealing with the salesman at the dealership.

First three times he called me he said 'Hi, am I speaking to Mrs FTM91?' every time I said, 'it's Miss, but yes that's me' (hoping he will get the message)

Fourth time he does it, I say 'yes it's me but just so you know, it's Miss, I know it's a small thing but Mrs FTM91 isn't my name' he apologises and says yes that must be annoying, very sorry.

Have spoken to him since and he's still doing it and he has left messages, and every time says 'This is a message for Mrs FTM91'

Leaving any possible feminist angle out of this (is it impossible that a single woman could buy a car? and it winds me up anyway that the distinction still exists) would it bother you that he is incapable of remembering a simple detail about a customer who is about to spend a lot of money with him?

(Yes I know there are bigger and more important things to worry about)

YANBU Time to look elsewhere

One time I bought a car, the salesman was so convinced I'd spelt my own name wrong, that he corrected it for me on the V05. And the DVLA wouldn't amend it, only add the real me as the next owner. Twats, the lot of them.

Do you need to buy it from him? Because the next conversation should go "look, if you cant even be bothered to get my name right, I'm going somewhere else"

Next time he asks is that Mrs, just say no and hang up. Don't respond to any messages addressed to Mrs.

You're right, it doesn't take much to change it on the paperwork.

It would bug me a bit but not enough for me to look elsewhere for a car if you have found one you like . As he has not listened to you in the past I would be very tempted to start addressing him as Mrs >whatever his name is< or madam if you are feeling really snarky

Ask his boss if you can have a different salesperson?

Talk bluntly (I usually find this works) "i am not going to buy a car off you if you persist in ignoring my wishes about how to be addressed."

But tbh, i'd tell him that he's blown the sale and go elsewhere. And if they can't wrap their head around what you want to be called tell them that unless they address you as The Commander of Absolutely Everything they won't get the sale either.

It winds me up that the distinction exists too but actually you're exacerbating it by making a big deal about which title the use. I would be happy for them to just select which is pretty much what I do if I have to give the title. The English as in France and Germany they would use "mrs" if you are an adult and arguably it would be a good idea to do that here.

My experience is cars sales people are pretty brash, usually ignore everything you say, and aren't that intelligent.

So it may not be a sexism thing, they may just be pretty thick.

@Belladonna12

It winds me up that the distinction exists too but actually you're exacerbating it by making a big deal about which title the use. I would be happy for them to just select which is pretty much what I do if I have to give the title. The English as in France and Germany they would use "mrs" if you are an adult and arguably it would be a good idea to do that here.

I know in German Frauline (miss) has been dropped, everyone is now just called Frau (Mrs) whatever their marital status.

Haha, well glad it's not just me! Annoyingly I'm too far down the line to lose the sale (and it's a bloody good deal)

Maybe next time I'll say 'no but I'll get her for you' and put my mother on the phone

Start calling him 'sonny' and ask if his dad is there.

A couple of years ago I popped into a Lexus dealership as I’d been thinking about changing my car and ended up buying one. They never once asked if anyone else needed to be involved in the decision, didn’t patronise me and when I picked it up they didn’t have a fucking bow on it. Fantastic. When I picked up the car I told them I had noticed and that’s why they’d got my money

Car salesmen piss me right off. A few years ago I was looking to buy a brand new one. It would be my car. DP and I buy our own things and have separate money. I was with our baby and the salesman suggested I come to look when my DH is free. I never went back.

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

Start calling him 'sonny' and ask if his dad is there.

YANBU And this is perfect ^ Patronising, irritating twat.

YANBU. Basic detail to remember.

Makes me glad I live without a car.

The English as in France and Germany they would use "mrs" if you are an adult and arguably it would be a good idea to do that here.

not exactly. In German you would be "Frau" and that means adult woman. They would use Madame, IIRC, in exactly the same way. It does not at all denote your marital status. They did away with "Miss" in Germany as it is seen as patronising to use that to a grown up woman and i am in complete agreement.

YANBU - despite being single, last car I bought the salesman mad frequent references to asking for partners permission or opinion.

The upside was that he was so stupid he undercharged me by £2k.
and the garage compensated me with about £150 to take the uncomplimentary google review down.

It's not just car salesman; whenever I get a call asking if they can speak to Mrs Twosheds, my usual response is "Not without the services of a reliable medium".
I figure that if they can't get my name right, we're off to a shaky start.

I know in German Frauline (miss) has been dropped, everyone is now just called Frau (Mrs) whatever their marital status.
I think that it's the same in France, "Mademoiselle" (as with "Frauline") is now only used in relation to children. After all, males in the UK are only "Master" until they are around 16 or so, from then it's "Mister".

Ask him outright if he has a computer system with your details on and ask him to check while you are on the phone what it says and update it to miss there and then. You can then say, look it tells you now for next time.
I hate this too when they always spell my name wrong when trying to sell me things and I always point it out, especially if they mention their attention to detail.

I emailed the manager. Response was 'I have spoken to [salesman] about the importance of listening'

Just imagining him talking to a toddler

My name's

Sent too soon
My name is Stephanie and someone once sent me an email addressing me as Mr Stephen Fricksake

I find car salesmen generally clueless anyway. The only thing they seem to know about is finance and how to add a couple of £k’s worth of insurance products to every deal.

You know what this thread has made me think I never use my title . I bought a new car recently and I have my name as lockdown not Mrs lockdown overyet so that’s what he call me lockdown. I hate being called Mrs reminds me of my mil always prefer people to call me by my first name never Mrs and I’m married .

Yeah that's not on. I work in a dealership and am very "Miss? Ms? Mrs? Dr?" About titles
I would be incredibly apologetic to get it wrong once and it would be drilled into my brain

(Also not thick, I have a degree plus a shed load of other qualifications thank you other posters!)