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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So, should I just go back home then 🤷🏻‍♀️

73 replies

SickoftheCword · 09/02/2021 21:39

I live abroad, in a country where you’d have to go to a hotel quarantine if going to/back to the U.K. My parents are due to come out to us in the summer, they’ll be vaccinated by then, dad already had first vaccine.
Will these hotel rules still be in place? There’s no way that can do that..when will they see my Dd again 🤷🏻‍♀️
Worried about the future and wondering whether to just back home to the U.K. to live.
Aibu and dramatic about it or does the future look so uncertain, I’d at least be better back in the same country as them?

OP posts:
Chloemol · 09/02/2021 22:23

Harsh as this answer is who knows.

I can only suggest not booking anything until nearer the time

Can they Skype etc? I know it’s not the same as face to fac3 but at least it’s contact.

If you come back where will you live, how will you support yourself?

LeaveMyDamnJam · 09/02/2021 22:26

It’s unknown, but at this point, I would assume that quarantine will be in place.

It’s a sad situation for so many, but inevitable for the time being.

Original poster
SickoftheCword · 09/02/2021 22:33

@LeaveMyDamnJam You think the paying for a hotel quarantine will still be in place in July/August? 😕

OP posts:
Original poster
SickoftheCword · 09/02/2021 22:34

@Chloemol I suppose we’d all move in with my parents initially, which seems overwhelming considering the current situation, but if this is years of this, what other option is there.

OP posts:
EileenGC · 09/02/2021 22:42

It does sound a little dramatic. No one knows what the situation will look like in July, but I doubt the rules will stay the same for years on end.

Guidelines change weekly. There might still be hotel quarantine in summer, there might no be. Your country might still be on the list, but it could also be taken off it at any point between now and the summer.

No one knows what’s going to happen. I know it’s easier said than done but try to stop worrying and planning about what will happen in 4 months... nobody knows. Think of how different the situation was 4 months ago (half term holidays went ahead) and even more different 4 months before (country was in lockdown). It might all change... no one knows.

If it helps, we lived 2000 miles away from relatives back when Ryanair didn’t exist... there were a few years when we didn’t manage to visit grandparents in summer and nothing happened. Nowadays it’s even easier with FaceTime and everything else.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 09/02/2021 22:48

Oh this is a lovely sane thread! So glad I clicked on this one and read the sensible responses after looking and some doom laden “we’re all going to die” threads.

(Not sarcastic)

Heyahun · 09/02/2021 22:50

You just have to wait it out or pay the money for quarantine I guess!

I’m going to head back to Ireland in April with my new baby to stay with my family - I doubt il have to pay for enforced quarantine- but will have to pay for tests - it’s just part of the expense ! Flights are so cheap though right now that I feel like the cost of the test is worth it

Il stay for maybe 2 months though rather than just a short visit and will do the 10days isolation first

Cloudsurfing · 09/02/2021 22:53

No one knows if it will still be in place or not. If you came back to the UK to live you would still have to do the hotel quarantine of it still exists though.

Cadent · 09/02/2021 22:59

There are different variants spreading throughout the country, your problem is tiny considering the grand scheme of things OP.

EasterIssland · 09/02/2021 23:09

As someone has said the hotel rule or it might not be. Nobody knows. I’d wait and see what happens closer to the time. I’m from Spain and haven’t managed to see my family for over a year. It’ll be 1.5y by the time I see them. They’re missing my nearly 3yo loads but thanks to WhatsApp and so they can keep track of him.

Nobody knows what will happen tomorrow so won’t be able to tell you what will happen in 3-4 months time

fluffi · 09/02/2021 23:16

[quote SickoftheCword]@LeaveMyDamnJam You think the paying for a hotel quarantine will still be in place in July/August? 😕[/quote]
@SickoftheCword I'd definitely assume hotel quarantine would be in place in the summer, especially as its not an easy thing to put in place, they wouldn't be doing this if they thought it was only for a few weeks or months.

I also expect they wlll probably add more countries to the list for hotel quarantine if they become problematic.

Emeraldshamrock · 09/02/2021 23:19

It is daunting not knowing when it'll end we're much closer to the end.
Don't rush to move hopefully there will be changes by the summer.

KizzyKat91 · 09/02/2021 23:21

I’m sure I heard on the news that quarantine rules will be in place for travellers until autumn, but I can’t find confirmation of that anywhere online.
I guess countries may be removed from the “red list” if they manage to get things under control and others will be added if new strains are discovered.

You can’t predict what will happen, so as others have said, best just to try not to worry and wait another couple of months before planning anything.

WriteronaMission · 09/02/2021 23:21

I'm in a country where you have to quarantine in a hotel upon return too. My DP and my ILs are in the UK. We've just said everyone should hold off until 2022 at this rate. There's just no point in trying to plan for anything right now unless you're willing to do the hotel.

The only reason well fly back is if something happens to our parents, siblings or grandparents. And even then, our choices are extremely minimal that it might just be me flying since I WFH anyway and can work from the hotel while quarantining.

Wafflewife · 10/02/2021 00:41

It depends on lots of things like why you live abroad and how easy it would be to come back, and I suppose whether you want to. I think if possible it might be best to live in the same country as your parents for a while, if seeing them regularly is important to you. But to be honest that also applies to them getting older and other factors, but by all means use this news as a springboard for a think about what you want.

Onlineshopperforever · 10/02/2021 00:48

Meant as a genuine question, why can they not do it? Is it the cost? You would have to do it as well? Can you afford to do it?

You will have some one bleeting on soon that they haven't seen their family in years and they all live in the UK.

CharlotteRose90 · 10/02/2021 01:25

Sadly hotel quarantine will be in place in the summer and it needs to be . We have no idea what people are bringing from other countries. I have family in Prague and I won’t be seeing them for another year now sadly.

AgentProvocateur · 10/02/2021 03:16

OP, have a big unmumsnetty hug. I’m
In the same position. It’s awful. I’ve not seen my children for over a year and it looks like they won’t be here in April as planned due to the quarantine hotels. They can’t take that time off work on top of annual leave.

I’ve had my two doses of vaccinations in the country I’m in, but it doesn’t look like any exceptions will be made for that.

I’ve been awake most of the night wondering if I should just bail out of here and go home. 😰

BlackCatShadow · 10/02/2021 03:20

We’re the opposite as we want to travel to the UK and visit my parents this summer after canceling last year. Everything is still up in the air at the moment, so who knows what will happen by the summer. We are just waiting to see what happens. It’s all you can do. If we can’t make it this summer, we’ll wait and go next year, but my parents are elderly. I’m not quarantining with my kids.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 10/02/2021 03:24

@Cadent

There are different variants spreading throughout the country, your problem is tiny considering the grand scheme of things OP.
Vile post- the nothing worse than Covid brigade really need to get a hobby. OP has raised a valid question, she isn’t saying it’s “more important” than covid itself.
BlackCatShadow · 10/02/2021 03:39

Also, to answer your question, I don’t think I’d move back to the UK at the moment. Things seem pretty tough there at the moment and it might be hard finding new jobs. You wouldn’t be just stuck living with your family, you can’t really go out at the moment, so it’s very intense living conditions. Plus, you may need to wait a certain period of time before you can claim some benefits like JSA. So, your family may have to support you. If you have a job and home now, I’d hang on to them and just Skype or Zoom your family.

Inkpaperstars · 10/02/2021 04:13

Such a tough situation OP, I wouldn’t make any hasty decisions.

Is it completely impossible for your parents to quarantine? Is there any way for you to come here or meet each other in a completely different location?

I think the chances of quarantine being in place are quite high because even in the best case scenarios of what we achieve here, it is going to be absolutely key to control imported covid to hang on to our progress. I really am not sure though, and it probably does depend on the countries involved and how they are doing. If you live in a country where mass vaccination is not likely any time soon and control of cases is poor it could be harder.

I do think things will change and the way they manage things will change so there is definitely hope. Equally I understand that living arrangements that rely on foreign travel to see family look really difficult now, although to be fair many family members in England have been pretty much apart all year too. My DM has seen her gc once in the last year, for an hour or so outside.

Play it by ear a little bit longer I’d say.

PrimeraVez · 10/02/2021 04:45

We are also overseas and haven't seen family in the UK since December 2019 so you have my complete sympathy Sad My mum normally comes out here at least a few times a year, but she's a teacher so even if she was willing to complete the hotel quarantine when she returns to the UK, she could only do it in the summer when she is on a long break.

Returning to the UK isn't something that we have considered, simply because we are settled here with our young family. Also, in the grand scheme of things, I think we are in a much better position here than if we returned to the UK, with no jobs or place to live.

I'm hoping that either the country we live in gets removed from the 'red list' soon(ish) and that the fact we have been vaccinated begins to count for something.

Realistically, I am not expecting to see our family until Spring 2022. If it happens before that, I will consider it a bonus.

1forAll74 · 10/02/2021 04:58

I am trying to understand all the latest rules about travel stuff, and who can go here, there and everywhere. as in closed borders and quarantine things, Not concerning me at all,, but I know a women who works for BA Airlines, and she recently told me, that she has now started to have a few flights, as cabin crew, and she has been to various places a few times recently. She usually only does long haul flights to different countries. I guess it must be deemed safe and legal, but its all very confusing to me.

HoppingPavlova · 10/02/2021 05:44

???? Your post is quite confusing and you seem to think an across the board rule will apply in all countries.

Are you somewhere else and your parents in the UK and your question is if you come to them or they go to you around July, will hotel quarantine be involved? Is that it?

Who knows, it would be country specific. Where I live (not UK) we have hotel quarantine and can’t even get our own citizens back at present, they are dribbling through in a large queue which I imagine is still going to straggle until mid-year. Hotel spots are prioritised for returning citizens rather than visitors. I also imagine we would have still have the quarantine system until local vaccination roll-out is complete here so everyone who wants it will have had a chance to have had it. At present October is aim for us with that. I would think after that then they would probably let people in who have been vaccinated and have a negative test on leaving destination with no quarantine requirement. But who really knows, it’s all how long is a piece of string at present. Also based on no variants popping up the current vaccinations can’t handle I would think.