AIBU about using the term “ Tubie “ for a child with a feeding a tube.

[Iamfudgingfreezing]

I know I am probably unreasonable and it’s none of my business what others call their children but I can’t help it annoying me.
My DC2 has a feeding tube ( ng and jej tube ) I get increasingly annoyed if there is a question regarding one being tagged on SM along the lines of “ oh “my name “ has a Tubie. I do not have a Tubie I have a child who has a feeding device to help maintain nutrition.
I also can not understand why any parent would call their kids a Tubie like it’s their whole identity.
Example “ my Tubie is so brave “ “ my little Tubie “

I get irrationally annoyed over it 🤣 AIBU ?

Of - oh, sorry was being jumped on by a cat 🤣

My son had a tube many moons ago when he was tiny.I met a few other parents whose identity seemed to be very caught up in their child's health issues and met up regularly. We took our chances with the normal baby and toddler groups.People were curious but I never fed him in public and when it was grabbed by another child I just popped to the ward to get a new one popped in. He was far more than his tube.

I see what you mean OP. It's almost like terms that are used with affection or within a specific setting have suddenly become a lazy shorthand used by those without the first hand experience.

Ugh I'm glad this wasn't a thing when my dd was NG fed 10 years ago!

I would simply be going back

No I don’t I have a child called xxxx

That made me laugh - because you're right.

I can't imagine describing my ds as "my little auty" or "my little genetic condition" or "my little HSPer".

I know some parents refer to the actual tube by a cutesy name to make it less medical (because as you say it's for food so necessity).

Haha @itsgettingwierd yes so DD refers to her actual tube as Tubie and her IV line as wiggly which is why I find it so off why the heck she would be called Tubie 🤣

She is not a long piece of silicone but a human 🤣

Omg my son is 20 and has had a G-tube from age of eight months. We called it a Mickey,mini Mickey,Jeanie all trade names but I am not offended at all to call it whatever I want! Good grief there's so much else to worry about in life

@EKGEMS I’m not talking about calling the actual tube something I’m talking about the calling the actual child a tube

That's appalling.
I also can't abide the term "Aspie".
My DH has Asperger's syndrome, he is not an "Aspie".

@Iamfudgingfreezing I never thought about it before but so many parents use tubie for their kids with feeding tubes but no one refers to the children with central lines ‘they are a wiggly’ or used the line to define the child

I guess it's just an attempt to create a sense of community, and maybe to make the tube feeding seem less miserable - as others have said, it's contextual, it doesn't mean they're reducing their child just to being tube fed.

I mean, I might mention, where relevant, that I'm the mum of a child with ADHD, but it's contextual and not a massive part of my identity or his.

She is not a long piece of silicone but a human

The worst thing is my ds HSP is actually muscle spasticity as main symptom.

And we know you can't call him that (🤣) so agree the tube is no different.

Although

Not sure why although appeared randomly at the end of that 🤣

@DaisyDreaming yeh she has a wiggly and it’s never used a term she’s a wiggly.

I think whatever an individual or family use to describe their own conditions is up to them. They will do what makes them comfy.

You can use what words you like and ask people not to use ones you dislike when talking about your daughter but you can’t dictate what words others use to describe themselves

I think because your daughter calls the tube her tubie, you're hearing Tubie as shorthand for "feeding tube." I would assume it was a cutesy shorthand for "tube-fed child". Someone referring to your daughter as a feeding tube is awful. Someone referring to her as a tube-fed child, not so much.

I don’t like it.

Tubie is v similar to saying ‘how is your little speccy?’ if your child wears glasses. I think it is weird. Does a tubie transform into a person when the tube is removed?

I don’t like this at all.

No child is a ‘Tubie’. How weird.

@ZoeTurtle

I think because your daughter calls the tube her tubie, you're hearing Tubie as shorthand for "feeding tube." I would assume it was a cutesy shorthand for "tube-fed child". Someone referring to your daughter as a feeding tube is awful. Someone referring to her as a tube-fed child, not so much.

This is exactly what they are doing.

When DT2 was on a drug that caused excess hair growth, lots of parents on the same meds called their kids Hairies. I suppose it’s a way of reclaiming it too since we’d always have people commenting on how hairy our kids were, and not in nice ways a lot of the time (like the person who called DT2 a werewolf out in public once and thought they were very funny - and it’s even worse for the girls).

Gotcha! I wouldn't be offended by that either! Your child sounds precious and sweet

Very weird - I guess as an asthmatic I'm an inhalerie? Pretty dehumanising!!

My son has cystic fibrosis and a gastrostomy. He’s not a cfer, or a tubie. He’s a boy. Not defined by his condition.

I wouldn't like it but yes it's probably derived from support group and meant as a cute shorthand. I am in a few tracheostomy support group (my DD doesn't have a tracheostomy but has something a little similar tho much less invasive and may need a trach in the future) and kids are referred as 'trachies'. I'm not a fan of this. My daughter has a nasopharyngial airway, doesn't really call for a cute shorthand and way too rare/out there for anyone to create one :)

Lots of people use Chromo Cutie on Unique rare chromosome disorder group,as in this is my little Chromo Cutie " Jack " for example when their child has a rare chromosome disorder I think it's quite sweet people feel less alone .🤷