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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Jury service & breastfeeding

87 replies

Catscrat · 09/02/2021 11:05

Posting here for traffic....

I had a letter a couple of weeks ago summoning me for jury service.

I asked to be excused as I’m exclusively breastfeeding (DS is 9 months old). He’s never had formula and we haven’t had any luck with bottles when I’ve tried expressing milk. I’m also not returning to work after mat leave so no childcare lined up, though I didn’t put that on the form.

Just got notification that my request has been rejected Confused and now I’m majorly panicking!

Has anyone got any experience of this?

OP posts:
Somethingsnappy · 09/02/2021 12:01

Well done for sorting it out. A stressful morning you could probably have done without though! I definitely like the idea of showing up with the baby if they had not cooperated!

HosannainExcelSheets · 09/02/2021 12:03

When I did jury service a few years ago (London) I was told by the jury manager that she was surprised I'd not asked to be excused because I had 3 pre-school children. Apparently most people do get excused if the cost of childcare can't be covered by the allowance.

I hope you're all sorted out now, but if not I'd definitely just turn up with your baby and feed them right there in the jurer waiting room. You won't be called 🤣

Lancrelady80 · 09/02/2021 12:05

@AStudyinPink

Surely by the time your child is two they can manage without being breastfed while you’re out between 9-5? Assuming that you’ll even be out that long. A lot of jury service is quite short too, just a few days. Surely by that age they could also take a bottle if you were out? I agree you should be exempt now but I think getting out of it based on breastfeeding when your child is older is unreasonable to be honest.

You don’t flex your child’s needs for this sort of thing. It needs to flex for the child. If the child is still feeding and that’s working in the child’s family, there’s no need for a bottle.

It is different though. A two year is /should be mainly eating solids. Breastfeeding is a great thing to do for them, but at two years old it is an extra, not a necessity. Under a year, they really need the milk.
AStudyinPink · 09/02/2021 12:11

It is different though. A two year is /should be mainly eating solids. Breastfeeding is a great thing to do for them, but at two years old it is an extra, not a necessity. Under a year, they really need the milk.

But if they are still drinking milk through the day, you don’t change what they need to do jury service. It’s a reasonable deferral/excuse.

Original poster
Catscrat · 09/02/2021 12:13

@notalwaysalondoner That's fair enough, yes he could be left with a bottle from a nutritional point of view and it could be for only a few days, as you say. But breastfeeding is about the child's emotional needs too, and I'd rather not compromise on that. There's also the risk the trial would last longer.

@AStudyinPink Thank you, exactly this!

@Twizbe That sounds really positive. If only it was like that everywhere!

OP posts:
Dopeyduck · 09/02/2021 12:15

It’s technically work so you’re entitled to a private space to either feed the baby or express. 9 months is more tricky but in 12 months time you’ll be able to just give your baby a cup of expressed milk or they’ll be able to cope without milk for a working day and will catch up when your home.
DS is 14 months and I work full time shift work 9hr shifts and he is offered milk in a cup (which is usually declined) and we breastfeed on demand when I’m here. I did have to express the first couple of weeks but I don’t now. It’s worked out just fine.

Don’t stress, breastfeeding is versatile and so are babies. Disruption doesn’t mean the end. If you do have to go your breast feeding journey will just adapt.

I hate the ignorance of people as well though and I’m sorry you’ve had to stress about it.

I was called to court to give evidence (as a professional) when my baby was 6 weeks old. They would not delay or excuse me so you can be sure that I rocked up with DS and DH in tow and they accommodated a private room for us until I was called. Did I care that I was late having been called as DS was finishing feeding? I cared not. The judge did actually say that he appreciated me accommodating it despite my young baby but I was pretty fuming. Anyways.

Original poster
Catscrat · 09/02/2021 12:27

@Dopeyduck 6 weeks Shock that must've been really tough. Kudos to you for taking your time!

And thank you. I weaned DD when she was 2 when I went back to work, so maybe we'll ready by then anyway - it's just not wanting to be forced into it.

OP posts:
listsandbudgets · 09/02/2021 12:29

Mine was postphoned by exactly a year due to breastfeeding. Someone has slipped up I think.

CB1128 · 09/02/2021 12:34

Try again! I was excused years ago as DS was small. He wasn’t a baby but a toddler and he was not in childcare at the time and no one to have him. dp and all our family would be at work and couldn’t have time off. It was a very easy process for me at the time and I never heard from them again.

Original poster
Catscrat · 09/02/2021 12:35

@HosannainExcelSheets Oh that's interesting to know re childcare costs, thank you. Just realised the 12 month referral takes us right into Easter holidays next year so I won't have childcare for DD!

@Raindough Yes I think you still have to attend court in person. The thought of holding a jury over Zoom is quite something!

OP posts:
SweetPetrichor · 09/02/2021 12:38

@Raindough I've got jury service in a few weeks time and the jury attends a cinema where the court room is livestreamed in and the jury is livestreamed to the court. It limits the number of people in any one place and because cinema rooms are big, they can easily space the jury out. This is in Scotland...don't know about anywhere else.

edgeware · 09/02/2021 12:47

Just for reference I did jury service when my breastfed DS was about 1 and a bit. Dad looked after him and DS just fed when I was around, we did few feeds in the day by then anyway. I was out by 2 pm every day anyway and didn’t start til 10! Only lasted a week. I was really stressed about it (and it wasn’t helped by finding out I had to sit on a pedophile case) but it was al fine in the end.

shouldistop · 09/02/2021 12:58

I got a 12 month deferral for childcare reasons and was never called back

Original poster
Catscrat · 09/02/2021 13:12

@edgeware you’re right, I think the stress about it is probably worse than than the experience itself would be end up being.

I’d hate a case like that, I have anxiety and quite sensitive to things like that. I’ve never wanted to be on a jury for that reason! Glad it was ok for you in the end.

OP posts:
edgeware · 09/02/2021 13:15

I was dreading getting that type of case and as soon as I saw the man when we walked in I knew that’s what it was going to be. Horrible! But in the end we declared him guilty and it did feel good being part of that.

Lancrelady80 · 09/02/2021 13:45

@AStudyinPink

It is different though. A two year is /should be mainly eating solids. Breastfeeding is a great thing to do for them, but at two years old it is an extra, not a necessity. Under a year, they really need the milk.

But if they are still drinking milk through the day, you don’t change what they need to do jury service. It’s a reasonable deferral/excuse.

Oh, I agree. I bf ds until gone 2 years. But at over a year, it's something that's not so obvious a need as it is with a baby just a few months old. Not to someone who perhaps doesn't know much about it and who spends their days reading forms from people trying to wriggle out of jury service for one reason or another.
Original poster
Catscrat · 09/02/2021 14:47

@Lancrelady80 That's a little bit harsh. I'm not trying to find excuses, I just want to prioritise the needs of my young child. I'm find the idea of being on a jury stressful enough as it is, so I'd just feel happier if it was once he's fully weaned, and I'm sure I'd be a better juror if I'm not in court with my mind elsewhere worrying about him.

OP posts:
SilverBirchWithout · 09/02/2021 14:57

If you have anxiety, which you are under treatment for, you will be able to apply for an exemption.
I have well-managed anxiety-depression and have checked this out.

Babyboomtastic · 09/02/2021 15:05

I'm glad you've got this deferment, but I think your view on what happens them is odd if I'm honest. Perhaps it's because you weaned when you went back to work last time, but for most people the two don't go hand in hand.

Most breastfed toddlers have working mums. Most will go to childcare. You don't need to wean because you go back to work, and at nearly 2, you don't need to be available to feed every day. If you want to, that's your choice, but it's not really needed.

I've worked since my youngest (ebf) was 6 weeks old. For the first 9 months I made sure I was always available (ie we'd use family childcare with me in my study) but after that, it's not necessary. The baby/toddler will make up in the evening and nights if necessary.

That baby is now nearly 2, and is still breastfed. She's in nursery today, and will have a bed feed and a couple.of night feeds. I'm days she's with me, she'll probably have about 2 feeds in the day as well, but doesn't ask if I'm not around.

Its a different type of commitment as they get older, and it's not incompatible with jury service at all.

Crakeandoryx · 09/02/2021 15:08

I deferred last year but I've been told I must attend this year. I've no idea how it works now as not heard from the court yet.

memememe · 09/02/2021 15:19

i was called for jury service when my ds2 was a baby, i explained i couldnt for childcare/breastfeeding reasons and they said it would be deferred for a year, they've never called me back and ds2 is 13 now.

Original poster
Catscrat · 09/02/2021 15:31

@SilverBirchWithout thank you. I had treatment for an anxiety disorder about 5 years ago (CBT) but not currently under any as am mostly ok now. It’s good that they offer exemptions for it though.

OP posts:
Original poster
Catscrat · 09/02/2021 15:41

@Babyboomtastic thank you, that’s helpful and has made me feel a bit better! Smile The only mums I know who breastfed past a year were SAHMs and it’s been nearly 3 years since I weaned my DD so I don’t really remember how often she fed at that age. I’m feeding DS so often at the moment it’s weird to imagine a year’s time being able to skip feeds! I’m probably overthinking it because I’m stressed and it feels like it’s out of my control.

OP posts:
SilverBirchWithout · 09/02/2021 15:41

Catscrat - if in a year’s time you do get recalled and struggle to get a further deferment it might be worth discussing with GP who will be able to write a letter for you. The last thing you need, with small children, is a case that would trigger an anxiety episode, and worrying about breast-feeding is not helpful.
My anxiety started after having PND, and focuses on fear about children’s welfare so you can imagine a case centred around children could be dangerous for me.

Redshoeblueshoe · 09/02/2021 15:45

I was called when I was pregnant, I was allowed to defer, it was 4 years before I was called back.

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