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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dilemma

36 replies

Justasking21 · 09/02/2021 08:48

NC for this post for obvious reasons.

My partner and I have both been vaccinated and have been following the rules really carefully. His grandparents have also been vaccinated but they live a long way from us. We haven't seen them in six months and his grandad has deteriorating dementia but is turning 90 at the end of the month.

He wants to travel to visit him for two days to see him before he can't remember much any more and to celebrate his milestone birthday and offer some support to his grandma who is struggling with her mental health as a carer.

They see another family group as a bubble occasionally (to bring them shopping) who's CEV member has been vaccinated also.

It's against the rules but we would get petrol only in the place we usually do and could make it there and back only seeing them.

Would you do it or not?

OP posts:

Reinventinganna · 09/02/2021 11:31

I would.

1Morewineplease · 09/02/2021 11:35

Barbara Castle was a member of the Labour Party and former Secretary of State, I believe.

Chloemol · 09/02/2021 11:36

He could go if looking after a vulnerable person, but not both of you

Vaccination does not stop you transmitting or catching covid

CounsellorTroi · 09/02/2021 11:39

@1Morewineplease

Barbara Castle was a member of the Labour Party and former Secretary of State, I believe.

Yes she was the Transport Minister who introduced permanent speed limits, seat belts and breathalysers.

I would go.

Hoppinggreen · 09/02/2021 11:43

I actually think it’s not allowed under the rules as you aren’t providing care really. Of course if caught you could argue it was
I would probably do it though

Original poster

Justasking21 · 09/02/2021 11:48

Some fair comments. The reason I'm asking is because I'm torn on following the rules or going for it.

He can't drive so we would be both going. Hotels are shut I think so it would be a blowup bed on their living room floor.

To the person who said things are going to open up on the 8th March. You don't know that. We could 'supposedly' be released from lockdown into Tier 4. It could be months more before we can mix households or travel.

Apart from my bf who has had 2 doses, I have been effectively isolating and had 1 dose and so have his grandparents except for the shopping visits 1 a week. We could go socially distanced but the idea is to give the female gp carer a break and so socially distanced wouldn't cover caring really.

OP posts:

Mo81 · 09/02/2021 12:00

When my nan was terminal last year i made several journeys i think some things are more important

FlyingSuitcase · 09/02/2021 12:21

"To the person who said things are going to open up on the 8th March. You don't know that. We could 'supposedly' be released from lockdown into Tier 4. It could be months more before we can mix households or travel."

If you mean me, what I said was it was quite possible that things will open up on 8th March or in the couple of weeks after. You asked for opinons. Mine is that it would be wiser to leave it a little longer and see what the government say on the 22nd.

Apparently some hotels are still open for essential travellers such as those going to funerals or travelling for work.

It sounds like you've made your mind up though.

Wanderlust20 · 09/02/2021 12:27

Not sure where you are but in Scotland, I'm sure there are exceptions for compassionate reasons? Might want to look into that but at the end of the day, that's just guidance and you'll have to make your own assessment of the situation. Good luck!

timetochangeyourlife · 09/02/2021 14:57

Lets look at various scenarios:
Op and partner go all have a lovely time creating long term meaningful memories no one gets covid. OP might be stoped by police but IME exceedingly unlikely and pays a fine.
OP and partner go all have lovely time and create long term meaningful memories, one or other or both grandparent get covid unlikely as both have been vaccinated and its 95% effective, and OPs DP has had both and OP has has one dose. Then one other or both die again unlikely as its thought to prevent serious disease and let's not forget that they are obviously both very elderly and may die of something else. But OP her DP and maybe one or other grandparent have a happy memories of the last time they were all together. OP get stopped by police blah blah blah.
OP and partner don't go by the time they are able to go grandfather's dementia has progressed so far he doesn't recognise OP and her partner this distresses everyone including grand mother, OP's DP seriously regrets not going and feels sad that he made this decision not to go earlier.
I know which one Id go with OP weigh up the risks (minimal) and decide how you would feel if in the worst case scenario one of the grand parents did get covid and die after seeing them. Asl the grandparents what they think.

AryaStarkWolf · 09/02/2021 15:01

I would, I'm generally in favour of sticking to the rules but his grand dad may not even have another birthday or like you said remember him next time. Plus when you see fuckers like Piers Morgan going off on holiday and then going on TV berating others for rule breaks it would piss you off (he may not have actually broken the rules but it was a bigger risk than what you want to do and for a worse reason too)

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