Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think some people don't understand that eczema can be a disability?

125 replies

Hard2Find · 09/02/2021 01:32

I have had eczema all my life and it impacts on my day to day life. There are many many things that I just can't do because of it. However I find people can really struggle to understand that people can be impacted by eczema differently.

Some people have small patches, others had it as kids and then grew out of it, others have it impact the quality of their lives, and others can be hospitalised.

Eczema has at times made my life unbearable. I am in pain, I can't do the things I enjoy or work in fields I am interested in. It leaves me feeling and looking horrid. If it's on my face people stare. I have to think constantly about what I do, buy, eat, touch. I struggle to do day to day things. I have a baby and just looking after her has left my hands inflamed and infected.

AIBU to think that for some eczema is not just a rash. It is a disability that impacts on their day to day life?

OP posts:
PeggyHill · 09/02/2021 01:37

Are you female?

I once worked with a man who suffered severely with eczema and often needed time off work because of it. Everyone took it very seriously.

I think it's usually just women who aren't taken seriously with these sorts of things.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/02/2021 01:41

I totally agree with you, and you have my sincere empathy. I had eczema as a child, mildly, but it resurfaced when I was 38 on my hands. Cracking, bleeding, horrible pain. It was fucking awful, and I can't imagine dealing with it on my face. After many failed treatments I was prescribed Clobetasol and it has disappeared. The gratefulness I have for finally having found something that works is immense. I am so so sorry for your suffering.

Whattheactual20201 · 09/02/2021 01:43

We spent a lot of time in hospital with DD1 and we became friends with a family and their tween daughter who was hospitalised mutiple times for weeks on end with severe a severe case. It was heart breaking at how much she suffered in pain

TheLaughingGenome · 09/02/2021 01:43

There's an employment tribunal ruling that held that severe eczema is a disability. And interestingly, I believe it was brought by a male worker, @PeggyHill.

Mockolate · 09/02/2021 01:49

YADNBU, I've suffered it with it all my life.
When young couldn't even walk properly with it as my skin was so stiff.
Have had everything going from a child such as acupuncture, Chinese herbs, Phenergan, wet wraps, light therapy etc.
As a teen too
People staring can knob off too.
Luckily seems to be better in my late adult years but I'd still think go away lol.

Mockolate · 09/02/2021 01:51

Would like to know the explanation behind those saying no at 39%.
They've obviously not experienced it

Aquamarine1029 · 09/02/2021 02:04

Would like to know the explanation behind those saying no at 39%.
They've obviously not experienced it

This exactly. They have no fucking idea how painful it is.

MixedUpFiles · 09/02/2021 02:08

I don’t think anyone who hasn’t experienced it or seen someone live with it can understand. Most people have no idea that a “rash” can have such an impact on someone’s life.

I already worked from home when I finally got my diagnosis, but if I didn’t, because of my particular variant, my doctor was prepared to advocate for disability accommodations in my workplace. Living with it for years now, it’s clear that If I ever do have to work in an office, it’s unlikely those accommodations will be enough to keep my symptoms in check

It’s a condition that can severely impact mental health because of constant itching, pain and sleep deprivation. It’s even been linked to higher rates of suicidal ideation.

SionnachRua · 09/02/2021 02:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SionnachRua · 09/02/2021 02:13

Gah, finger slipped and hit post! Will ask MN to delete. I was only about to say that some people vote yabu to be contrary, nothing too insightful.

porcelinaofthevastoceanss · 09/02/2021 02:14

YANBU. I have had it on and off all my life. I remember having such sore, shiny and weepy creases at the backs of my knees and in elbow creases at school. There was a little boy in a lower year that had to wear a sort of full body suit under his school uniform as his was so severe. Eczema came back in a big way for me when I was pregnant - both timesC but weirdly it only came back on the left side of my body. Since having my DS in 2018 my hands have been permanently covered. Washing due to nappies and covid hasn’t helped. It is painful and embarrassing, especially if they bleed. Are you in a union OP? Could be worth joining one to discuss this.

DeRigueurMortis · 09/02/2021 02:31

YANBU

Had eczema all my life.

Was bullied at school because of it.

Experienced regular flare ups where it hurts to do basic tasks because my skin cracks and bleeds (and can get infected).

Steroid and hydrocortisone creams provided short term relief but make it worse long term.

What helps....

Well I think a lot depends on your skin triggers. I've worked out that general "dust", pollen and animal dander are a nightmare for me. So no pets, hoover regularly, take anti histamines.

In addition my own natural sweat is an issue so I've found spraying anti- perspirants onto "creases" like inner elbows effective. Worst case I bandage those areas to stop me scratching and use sudocream).

Oat baths, oats in an old clean sock and swish on the water and then compress on any sore areas.

Clothes - no wool.

Keep skincare simple. Cleanse and moisturise. That's it. A balm with a warm cloth is good.

If you can afford it buy a washing machine with an allergy function. Takes ages to wash but is a game changer especially for bedding where your skin makes most contact.

asdnamechange · 09/02/2021 03:01

Yanbu!!!
I previously had severe eczema and I subsequently became very depressed. Honestly one of the darkest parts of my life, I stopped socialising with friends and I had to quit my job.

I still have it but it’s mostly in remission so now mild/manageable. I’m still in fear that it may badly flare up again.

I think it doesn’t help that when most people think of eczema they think dry/flaky skin, or a mild rash.

Severe eczema is a completely different story - regular staph infections, the oozing making your skin stick to clothing and when you take your clothes off it can rip the skin more, burning, waking up with sharp pains from scratching in your sleep, dead skin in your bed, lichenification... I could go on. Sad

asdnamechange · 09/02/2021 03:14

I’m very lucky to not have severe eczema anymore but I do still have a rare form of cheilitis (lip dermatitis)

Not only does it look unsightly but I haven’t been able to smile fully let alone wear any lipstick for years.

Wigmic · 09/02/2021 04:00

Ynbu I remember once crying in the doctors waiting room. My doctors ran a clinic style appointment system where you showed up at 8 and they triaged you so you could wait for hours depending on the day. When I went in the morning they forgot to add me to the list so I had waited till they closed at lunch for them to realise their mistake. I was having an awful flare up across my face, neck and arms so could hardly move without being in agony and cried when they said they didn’t have any appts they could offer me for the afternoon. It really can be debilitating at times.

cookiemonster5 · 09/02/2021 04:03

My son has so severe eczema and psoriasis he gets DLA. Taking him to hospital 3 times a week for treatment, hours a day putting creams and bandages on him, changing bedding daily and washing blood off the wall next to his bed, ruined clothes from scratching and wearing them through. It is endless. Not to mention the constant, back to back infections leading to at least a week off school each month and him falling behind.

Not he is on weekly injections which has thankfully cleared up his skin for the most part. But is was not an easy decision to make to take this drug. It has serious side effects and has left him on the shielding list because of its effects on his immune system. A common cold could land him in hospital. But for him it was worth it to get some quality of life back and some sleep!

CrayonInThreeBits · 09/02/2021 04:06

@Aquamarine1029

Would like to know the explanation behind those saying no at 39%. They've obviously not experienced it

This exactly. They have no fucking idea how painful it is.

Could offer to remove half their skin with a sander, wait for it to scab over, and see whether they feel any different about it?
Original poster
Hard2Find · 09/02/2021 04:56

@PeggyHill

Are you female?

I once worked with a man who suffered severely with eczema and often needed time off work because of it. Everyone took it very seriously.

I think it's usually just women who aren't taken seriously with these sorts of things.

Yep I’m female. I think people just think it’s a rash and that it’s just visually unappealing rather than actually debilitating. Women tend to not be taken seriously with medical issues/pain sadly
OP posts:
muststopdrinking · 09/02/2021 05:05

My older brother had to go to school in a full neck to toe body suit (inc gloves) in the mid 70s. Mum said it was horrific for her to deal with every day. I reckon my brother had it worse...

Yellowfiledredfilled · 09/02/2021 05:16

I’ve had times when I couldn’t put shoes on -or anything on my feet - couldn’t sleep at night with the itch that constantly tortured me - Dermatologists are pretty useless too. It’s under control now - but no thanks to bloody so called specialists.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/02/2021 05:24

@CrayonInThreeBits

Could offer to remove half their skin with a sander, wait for it to scab over, and see whether they feel any different about it?

Are you trying to be funny? You think this is a joke?

CrayonInThreeBits · 09/02/2021 05:29

Chill out Aqua, yes, it was a joke, I'm not seriously intending to offer to torture people who don't realise how awful eczema can be.

Mazeofpipes · 09/02/2021 05:43

Totally agree. It can be debilitating and even deadly. A neighbours little boy had it so severely he looked like a burns victim. He was in hospital a lot and on one occasion his dad walked past his bed in the hospital because he didn’t recognise him . I’ve never seen anything that looked so painful and utterly miserable. There is a huge spectrum from a few isolated patches to the extent this child suffered. I’ve had it on my hands and the urge to scratch to get some relief was hard to control so I can only imagine what it would be like for someone who has is badly.

MinnieMountain · 09/02/2021 05:54

YANBU.
I still remember the baths and wraps (which inevitably stuck to my skin); the bloody, literally, gloves which were supposed to limit the damage from scratching; unable to straighten my arms and legs due to scabs; the bullying at school.

I count myself very lucky that mine disappeared completely when I was in my early 20s.

londonmummy1234 · 09/02/2021 06:21

Sorry I want to vote but how do you do it on the app?
Yanbu. Eczema can be absolutely horrendous. I was suicidal at one point because of it.