To ask for any tips on avoiding complete burnout that will jeopardise my income

[Burntoutout]

I’ll start by saying that I know I am am fortunate, I’ve not got anywhere near the problems others have at the moment and I have my physical Heath for which I’m grateful.

However - I run a business on my own. It’s been very busy since lockdown 1 started and I have not had a break at all other than a week at Christmas.

Today I realised that for at least the past week - literally everything any client does is making my irritated and therefore feeling resentful. This is totally on me - it’s my mood, my issue.

I’ve had a headache for three days, habe started taking beta blockers to try and lower the anxiety/annoyance - but is there anything else I can realistically do.

I genuinely feel like I need a proper break - but quite literally cannot take one. I know I cannot be the only person in a similar position - so can anyone suggest a good coping strategy.

I honestly fear that I’m going to go nuclear and upset every client I have!

Try to carve out time for yoga and meditation every day, ideally short bursts a few times a day. And get outside for a walk every day.
Drink lots of water, eat healthily, cut tight down on sugar, alcohol and caffeine.

Outsource. Delegate. Hire freelancers if you cannot commit to proper employees

I feel for you. I don't run my own business but am in a precarious situation at work trying to balance their expectations with the reality of being a single mum with DC at home while the primary is closed.

You're caught in a cycle but you are going to be less and less efficient unless you take time out. Do it, without guilt. Better that than to frighten your clients away.

I’m not a yoga person at all - but have tried to do some mindfulness app stuff. I do walk as have a dog.
Alcohol I’ve cut right down on - sugar isn’t a huge thing for me - but caffeine is!

@ButtWormHole I have tried with freelancers but the reality is - that still needs a lot of managing. I’m loathe to take on anyone properly at the moment as I’ll probably be even more irritable with them.

God I sound defeatist though - and promise I’m taking on board what people are saying

@Burntoutout Honestly, yoga is transformational. I used to be like you, high-stress job and loads of pressure. Yoga kept me sane.
I was lucky to find a teacher who emphasised traditional techniques which are good for stress management and included breathing techniques and meditation.

If you want to preserve your income SHORT term at the expense of life/relationships:

Drop everything apart from work - no saying yes to anyone or anything

Don't cook or clean - always throw money at any problem - eat simply

Use tv/films to distract quickly from the thoughts in your head

Stop any self criticism or judgemental thoughts about self as soon as you can hear them

ALLOW your feelings - set aside time to rage/scream/cry in the car if you need to - rage against your clients - deliberately set aside time to do this WITHOUT judgement of self

Self nurture and self compassion- meditate/yoga/walk in nature if you can

This MUST only be done in the short term

@Burntoutout The Insight Timer app is good too - loads of different types of meditation, search on the topic eg anxiety, relaxation, stress management.

@LaurieFairyCake I think I may have been doing points 1-3 for quite some time now .

Obviously it’s the same for everyone - but I feel a bit like if I could only have some sort of break (away from my four walls) it would help.

I think in usual circumstances I’d maybe take a holiday - if planned this is do-able, but at the moment is seems pointless and also just plain weird to do - I’ll still be stuck in the same house, looking at my desk.

I wish I’d done more about this last year when restrictions weren’t quite so tight.

I did have one wonderful experience with yoga in lockdown one. Was doing it to a video out in the garden - the dog looked at me and started stretching - it was like he joined in. His downward dog was unsurprisingly on point

There are loads of pets in the online classes I'm doing.

Quit the caffeine. I'm coming up to a year since I broke the cycle and I can't believe how much better I feel since I kicked the habit. I didn't even know caffeine was affecting me - I stopped drinking coffee for a lent cos I liked the taste and the improved sleep was a surprising side effect. Two family members and one friend have quit since they've seen the change too.

Have a bed time routine. No devices or distractions in the bedroom. Ideally not even reading. And turn off all screens at least half an hour before bed.

Walk religiously. Every single day for a minimum of 30 minutes. Outside the house!

Take at least one full day per week off work (ideally two). Not even thinking about it. It can be hard at first, but you can train yourself to do it: when a stray thought pops in to your head, write it down, put it on your desk and firmly tell yourself you'll deal with it tomorrow (the last bit may need repetition, but it gets easier with practice).

Op I feel for you, I've been there.

When my anxiety was that high I noticed that what I ate had a direct impact, if I ate rubbish or little the night before, my heart palpitations and panic attacks would be worse the next day. So, I'd maybe pay closer attention to see if there's more of a correlation than you've noticed.

Classical music also helped and im not usually a fan!

You could YouTube Kirtan meditations, they're good if you struggle to get into the zone for meditating.

As its your own business, is it possible you could book a few days away in a different county under the guise of business needs?
( I expect to get flamed for this, but if your mh is hanging by a thread and don't come into contact with other ppl, I think you'll be ok). Just somewhere different where you can blow the cobwebs away- i did it after lockdown #1 last year and it made a massive difference to me.

I'd also approach your gp and see if there are other medication options that might help. If freelancers aren't helping atm it sounds like you need something to help you through until things can ease up a bit.

Perhaps there are better ways to manage your clients - when we're in the middle of the storm and so stressed it can be difficult to see the wood for trees so maybe a business consultant might be able to help you?

If you're not getting on with yoga, try other gentle exercises...maybe pilates, tai chi or ballet? If you enjoy dance, any online dance class could help.

How about a punch bag for taking out your frustrations at the end of the day?

You might also like to consider talking therapies, many local authorities allow you to self refer and its free.

Picking up a new hobby can help, something you can do with your hands gives an outlet for the built up anxious-energy and the focus can be really soothing.

Audiobook etc. Carve out time daily for self care and go right back to basics if you need to.

I know you say you can’t take a break, but it does sound like you need a good break. And I know it can seem pointless to have a break when there’s not a whole lot you can do. But I think you need a good chunk of time off to recoup and recharge the batteries. If you had an e.g. appendicitis you’d have to take time off. Mental health can be like slow dripping tap chipping away at your well-being but you need to prioritise taking care of it as you would a physical ailment (don’t let that appendix burst!)

It might be worth talking to your GP again. I thought that beta blockers were more for the physical effects of anxiety (I take them sometimes for panicky physical symptoms). It may be that the irritability and burnout feelings might need other treatments (CBT or antidepressants)?

I would also say I felt very burnout during the summer with working ft and homeschooling. I took 2 weeks off (sick leave) and it was immensely helpful just as a reset to give me time to build up my resilience and change my perspective a little (world/work keeps turning despite me not taking a break from my job!)

Who’s at home? Husband? Partner? Children?

Book time off. I know it feels like 'a waste' right now - and I'm not saying take a fortnight - but take a couple of days off either side of a weekend and use them to relax. I'm off Thu/Fri this week - it is half term here, we will all be sitting around looking at each other to an extent, but I still need the break from work. I would normally take the whole week, that does seem a waste but I definitely need some time off. We all do.

Have at least an afternoon/morning off, every week, without fail, and guard this time as if it's precious. Pay a part-time secretary to deal with all the bollocks stuff: answering phones, filling in your diary, scheduling in follow up work, sending parcels, whatever. If the clients can't reach you on say, wednesday afternoons, then tough shit on them. If you lose a client, or a sale, or whatever: so what. You need space for your own mental health, regardless of what they need. Make sure you have standard practises for everything you can; letter templates, action chains, etc, and make sure your secretary (and you!) stick to your procedures. Make sure you take the time out the secretary provides for you; even if all you do is paint your nails or take a bath or watch a mini-series on tv.

I'm with you here. I've had two months of client hell and I've had enough.
I started yoga last year in lockdown and that's helped.
I walk my dog for at least 30 mins. Two hours on a Saturday. I look up public footpaths online for a change of scene.
I enjoy family history and concentration needed for this is helpful.
Likewise cooking from a recipe.
Michael Neil and the 3 Principles has helped me start to reframe some thoughts.

I've concluded though that I need a break. A long weekend very soon.

I've been in the same place, and while I do love yoga it's not a silver bullet and you have to keep it up regularly which is hard when you're exhausted. I got a therapist, CBT and hypnotherapy. That stopped me losing it and totally failing at my new stressful job

You need to carve out some time off. Even two full days will help you enormously.

Meditation first thing and a long walk. Stop working early evening at the latest. Bath and put your PJs on and do something for yourself

Following with interest. DP runs a business, has a business partner and 2 employees but is still insanely busy. In 18 months he's gone from running it himself to having his partner come on board full time, last year they took 2 people on to help but his workload hasn't lessened at all. If anything he is busier. He regularly works 7 days a week for months on end with the occasional Sunday off. When he gets home from work he will play with our girls for half an hour and then is straight on his laptop doing admin. I'm really worried about him. We have 4 and 1 year old DDs so I've taken on all kids and house stuff (as well as working myself so not to be financially dependent on him) but I'm worried about his mental and physical health as so much work must take a huge toll.

You need to physically separate yourself from your work. If you have a separate room where you work shut the door. If not, allocate one space in your home for work do not work anywhere else.

Wear different clothes when you work than when you are not working.

Take a lunch break away from your desk.

Have at least one day a week free from work.

Watch something engaging on TV or read a captivating book in the evenings to stop you thinking about work.

Try to get fresh air and daylight every day and engage with nature. I feed the birds in my garden.

Exercise and any activity that slows /deeps your breathing will help yoga, tai chi, qigong

Stay connected with friends as much as you can through messaging & calls.

Some great advice thank you. Someone asked upthread - it’s just me and DH - so no homeschooling etc.

I’m that case OP book some time off - you won’t regret it, honestly.

I occasionally book a few days when the kids are at school and childminder and just recharge - sleep, watch crap TV, sew and knit etc. I always feel better.