New here. Need advice on whether to have a child or not. ADHD etc

[LudoBear]

Hi everyone,
I'm new to mumsnet.

I'm a 33 year old female asexual. I have ADHD and polycystic ovaries syndrome.

In order for me to have a baby I need to use sperm donor and to potentially have ivf as I don't ovulate very often. All this is absolutely fine, I can deal with that.

However, I have ADHD and wonder if I could even cope with a child especially as a single mum. I have my own mum and brother for support but no friends or other family.

My main concerns are..
I am incredibly disorganised. My house is a pig sty, clutter everywhere, I really struggle with housework and laundry.

I am not very patient. I want everything now, the world is going too slow for me.

My child is highly likely to have ADHD. I'm not sure how I or we would cope together.

However all I've ever wanted is to be a mummy.

I'm not currently on medication for ADHD as I've got actually been officially diagnosed yet, currently awaiting assessment. But I'm 99.9999% certain I've got it.

Would it be completely wrong of me to have a child when I've got ADHD?

I have adhd and have 3 kids... as long as you have a brain you can make it work.

I'm very disorganised but it doesn't matter. You find strategies as you go along.

Do you have the hyper focus side of adhd too? I'm lucky I do as If I really want to I can get shit done rapidly when needed and then the inevitable crash after but still. You might need to get on top of your clutter, get a skip or load all the crap in bin bags and take it to the tip etc

But really adhd is not a reason to not have kids

Oh but that's not to say I don't struggle. It's hard but it's doable

Will start by saying that every individual is different and that you may not be at all similar to her, however as the mother of an ADHD 16yo:
She’s amazing with kids (much better than my non-ADHD child) and seems almost destined to be a mother. She’s similar with regards to housework - she can do it, but won’t where it can be avoided. I’ve found that having some sort of incentive works, and I imagine wanting your child to be healthy would do that? No experience with other ADHD people I’m afraid, but if you treat yourself and catch your child’s early (if they end up having it) then it should be fine. My advice would be if you want a child, go for it!

No but be aware your DC might have it.
There is plenty of excellent qualities a person with ADHD can have.
IME females are more empathic, DD is very creative and messy.
I've never been diagnosed both of my DC are diagnosed i'm so scatty I often think I've alzheimer's but I manage with lists and charts I never done well in school always said I'd potential if I learnt to focus etc etc.
Neither are life limiting illnesses as long as you understand yourself and focus on making the child's home a happy clean home it is hard to keep on top but vital.
I use fly lady.
Get organised as best you can.