Shopping Addiction

[Milkthistles]

So I read a previous thread about shopping addiction and Mumsnet suggested I write a new thread. So basically I think I am a shopping addict. This isn't causing me a lot of harm financially at the minute. However I have started using an old credit card not linked to my joint account with husband so he cannot see what I am spending. And ai am lying to people about how I have paid for orders. I told my Mum I had used some money from a savings account to pay for my latest order. I just can't atop! I don't think CBT will help as was suggested on another post as I am able to live my daily life, leaving the house, going to work and looking after my little girl. But I think the shopping is a response whenever I feel stressed. I suffered with post partum psychosis after my little girl and it has been suggested to me by my sister that I don't have any more children but deep down I think I would like another baby. But ai can't risk putting my family through another psychotic episode. I suppose there is no straightforward solution

I used to be a shopper! I finally stopped when we moved abroad to a country where I wasn't allowed to have money in my own right (I don't recommend that as a cure though). But I know it's probably only in remission.

I don't think CBT will help as was suggested on another post as I am able to live my daily life, leaving the house, going to work and looking after my little girl.

In the nicest possible way, I think you've got a misunderstanding about what CBT can/can't do. Imagine a triangle and at each point you have "thoughts" "feelings" and "behaviours". All CBT does is helps you change your behaviours by helping you change how you think about things.

For example, if your shopping addiction is because of unresolved feelings, CBT will help you work through the feelings themselves which are driving the shopping habit.

If you don't think you meet the threshold for getting CBT on the NHS, can you get it privately? It will save you money in the long run if you can address your shopping issue.

That's so sad that you are worrying about having a second baby. Is your sister a mental health professional or is she just someone with an opinion? I had bad MH after my baby and I keep worrying, but I'm going to do it again, it's a very personal decision though. Have you found any support from PPP groups e.g. on Facebook to talk through what you experienced and your fears about a second baby? Have you talked to your partner/family about the idea?

Your risk of having PPP a second time if you have no underlying MH is 50%. Also if you had PPP once, you should get additional monitoring and earlier support from midwives/consultants etc which should enable you to get help more quickly. Having said that, I can understand why you would find it too traumatic to do it again, especially if you don't live in an area which has mother and baby units to keep you together.

Aww thanks so much. Such a kind response. I admitted to my Mum and husband again that I think I have a problem with shopping and they were kind. I told Mum about the baby thing. I explained that I couldn’t face another pregnancy with the threat of PPP hanging over me. Mum suggested adoption which I would consider but my husband is very anti. Spoke to my Mum again and she suggested surrogacy. I don’t fully understand the costs involved or the legal side of things but I feel like this could be the solution. I think I will try distraction techniques when I want to spend. But might speak to the GP. Technically due to having been sectioned and having a severe case of PPP which led to a spell in a psychiatric intensive care unit (absolutely horrific, I was force fed) I qualify for life long mental health support and input. Out of interest where did you move to?

How do you feel about the stuff you have purchased afterwards? Does it give you pleasure or do you just throw it in the cupboard and forget about it. If it is the latter, have you considered an an interim solution buying and then returning? That way, you get the thrill of shopping but not the long term financial damage. It is not a long term fix, especially as it would be unfair to retailer but may help in the short term whilst you find something which helps you.

If you can't stop yourself you need to seek some kind of help and CBT might be an option - how much have you researched it or other therapies?

I know this sounds like an easy solution and people will find a way if they really want to but start by cutting up all credit cards and removing those details from your online shopping accounts. It will at least make it more difficult to buy things - do you get the same feeling from online window shopping or is it when you receive the item you feel good?

I also really think you need to tell your partner, especially if you're starting to run up any debt. If he was the one with a potential addiction where debt was created wouldn't you want to know?

I think having a second child is something different entirely and not really related to the immediate problem but I can see why you've sort of mentioned it. I'd have a chat with your GP about what the risks are and likelihood of the situation repeating itself, they may also be able to point you in the direction of other services that could be helpful.