Dealing with these feelings

[Sendmesomejoy]

How do you let go of past feelings of hurt? Sometimes your closed ones hurt you and then move on and/or act like nothing has happened. Then there are times when people around you are so selfish that they never really see your point of view and Sometimes people hurt you and act like you hurt them. How do you get past with this especially when deep down you are hurting and disappointed 😞? How do you deal with this and make sure that your past doest affect your present or in some cases your future?

That's a tough one op and I feel for you.

Sometimes it's a painful journey to detaching yourself from the need for them to acknowledge your feelings.

Other times you realise that you don't need them to validate how you feel.

Sometimes its forgiveness. Or speaking to someone else who does acknowledge how you feel.

You might come to the conclusion that these are ppl you don't need in your life, or need to be so close to and move on. Build new relationships.

I'd ask you why it hurts so much and what does that tell you about you? Not a criticism, but what is your unmet need that is being flagged by this? There may be other ways to meet it.

Ultimately, you can't control others, you can only control your own reactions.

If you'd like to share with us then please do. Otherwise, be gentle with yourself and realise you don't need them, you are strong enough to look after yourself without their consideration

Thank-you for your understanding.

Ultimately, you can't control others, you can only control your own reactions.

This, absolutely.

OP

I've completely detached myself from the people I expected too much from (and gave too much to). I think if you can do that you limit the damage people can do and let people live their own lives. Give what you're prepared to and that's it.

How old are you? I only ask as this gets a LOT easier as you get older.

Now if someone has a problem I say, "Oh that's awful are you ok? I can...(insert something you CAN do and are willing to do), then it's their problem iyswim?

I think most people stuff their feelings away without ever really dealing with them properly. Sometimes it's a case of sitting with the feelings, feeling them deep down. It might involve something like writing them out in longhand - the full experience, why you feel that way, what happened, etc and being kind to yourself about it. I think writing helps you process things so you can let them out. You might cry whilst you are writing things out. That's good because it is a release of pent up feelings. Then you can recycle the letter or whatever, be gone with it forever. Also, if you can get some counselling it may help. :)

Royallbloo I think you are right. I will definitely try to detach myself from people who hurt me intentionally.

Mustbebetter thank you for your suggestion will try it.

Following with interest OP. I could have written your post. It's tough isn't it?