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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you have a pre teen or teen

61 replies

Christmasfairy2020 · 07/02/2021 16:30

My dd is 11 and has lots of signs of puberty (bo. Hair, breast development) and it will not be long before she starts her periods. I've since heard about period pants and she finds pads irritating (previously practised) would I be unreasonable by just buying period pants and she has them for when she starts. Or should I not buy them and make her get used to pads first?

Yabu- she needs to learn how to use pads and get used to it.

Yanbu- buy the period pants and let her be comfortable and she will learn to use pads at some point.

OP posts:
suspiria777 · 07/02/2021 16:37

"learning" to use pads is weird enough... nobody needs to practise it!

Just buy her period pants.

Cocomarine · 07/02/2021 16:41

You don’t learn to use pads. You read, or get shown, where the adhesive strip of wings are, and where to position them, once. And that’s it. Ain’t rocket science.

And you ever have to use them. I haven’t used a pad since about 1986 🤷🏻‍♀️
Why can’t you just get her period pants? They’re the first choice of all my teen daughter’s friends.

Have you asked her what she wants?

KatyClaire · 07/02/2021 16:41

She doesn’t ever need to learn to get used to pads if she’s happy with period pants.

Ginqueen456 · 07/02/2021 16:42

Depends, would she be wearing the period pants every day or just when she's on her period? If she's not wearing them everyday it would help for her to learn how to use pads just incase she gets caught out, even if she does find them irritating at least she'll know what to do until she gets home.

BrokenCircle · 07/02/2021 16:43

She doesn’t need to learn how to use pads. There are other options.

SmaugMum · 07/02/2021 16:45

Period pants all the way here! DD1(13) is still attending school (vulnerable/disabled/EHCP) and it’s one less worry for her. I remember the horrors of ‘leaking’ through pads at school and being too embarrassed to get up off my chair at the end of lessons. Also, I’m told that the loos at school are grim so DD1 tries to avoid going, wherever possible.

I can definitely recommend the Wuka period pants, which are often on offer at larger branches of Sainsbury’s (£15 instead of £20).

Hankunamatata · 07/02/2021 16:48

I hate pads. They all made me sore and itchy - always being the worst. Period pants rock and use moon cup for heavier days. Depending on her flow when it starts you may want to combine with tampons.

funinthesun19 · 07/02/2021 16:48

What’s wrong with wearing pads? Confused

That’s to the people who seem shocked people wear them in 2021.

I never even knew period pants were a thing.

Original poster
Christmasfairy2020 · 07/02/2021 16:52

Ohhh ill look at wukka. My dd is all fingers and thumbs and wouldn't read any instructions Confused I use tampax personally. I've ordered some period pants for her. I keep worrying about what I've been told about teachers refusing to allow girls to use the toilets in lessons. She hasn't got a clue what she wants all she wants is tiktok and Harry potter Hmm. Anyways I have bought some from.modi bodi at a cost of 40 pound for 2 pairs. Thanks everyone

OP posts:
Original poster
Christmasfairy2020 · 07/02/2021 17:18

@funinthesun19 I didn't until today Grin

OP posts:
Cocomarine · 07/02/2021 17:45

@funinthesun19 nobody has reacted in a shocked way here.

If you like pads, you like pads.

People are only saying that it isn’t the only option. If you want a “what’s wrong with them”, you could consider the environmental impact if they’re not washable pads.

I think periods suck enough as it is, and I wouldn’t criticise anyone for the poor environmental choice, if one time use pads were the best thing for them - as long as they considered the environment in other ways, and did their bit there. But there are other options, and lots of people prefer period pants.

ilovebagpuss · 07/02/2021 17:50

My DD started when she was 12 took one look at the whole pad or period pant option and said she was going with tampons and a thin liner.
She used the instructions and sorted it out herself I just provided the options and keep a full box of tampons and pads (sometimes uses one at night).
I think we sometimes overthink this as mums and they just need to get on with it themselves as long as you are there if they ask For help it’s fine.

Original poster
Christmasfairy2020 · 07/02/2021 19:11

@ilovebagpuss thanks for that love
Prob it I'm more anxious than her. She's only y6 at the moment. Hopefully she doesn't start to soon but given she is 5ft2 8.5 st 32b bra etc I think she will start soon. But we shell see. I'll buy more tampax and keep a bigger range of supplies in xx

OP posts:
Petrarkanian · 07/02/2021 19:25

Try Cheeky Wipes. They have different styles and my 14yr old really uses them.

Tal45 · 07/02/2021 19:28

If the pants work better for her then she doesn't need anything else IMO - will she need to change them at school though in the future though? That could be a problem? She might want to wear them with a pad and then take the pad out part way through the day or something?

TheFrenchLieutenantsMonkey · 07/02/2021 19:55

My DD1 who has ASD has ModiBodi period pants. They are ace. She is heavy and they don't leak or have any odour. They don't have a lot of give in them when you first get them out the packet but they soften once worn and washed. Wish they'd had them when I was at school.

arethereanyleftatall · 07/02/2021 19:57

I think you making such a fuss of this and in to a big thing makes it worse.
'Mum, I've got blood.'
'Ok love, here you go, pop a pad in. Now, what do you want for tea.'

ElizaLaLa · 07/02/2021 20:13

she finds pads irritating

She'll soon learn pretty much everything about periods is irritating.

Original poster
Christmasfairy2020 · 07/02/2021 21:15

Yes I agree I prob am. I'll tone it down. I've bought x2 period pants modibody so she can try them when they arrive etc. I'll top the tampon cupboard up as well incase she decides she likes them! Cheers everyone

OP posts:
Idontbelieveit12 · 07/02/2021 21:18

My DD14 has period pants but uses them with pads. The ones she has would never be ok for a heavy period.

ThatchersCold · 07/02/2021 21:31

My understanding of period pants is that you still have to change them throughout the day? Which could be more inconvenient than pads? I use the washable pads which have soft fleecy lining and are a lot more absorbent and comfortable than disposable pads.

Emeraldshamrock · 07/02/2021 21:44

Start with pads if she has sensory issue's change for period pants they are economical too.

Igmum · 07/02/2021 21:48

DD13 has mild SEN so I'm thanking heaven for period pants. Soooo much easier. She's used them from the first. She has Modibodi and they are great. Definitely recommend them. Good luck OP

HelplessProcrastinator · 07/02/2021 21:48

My 13 year has ASD. She started her periods in the summer before year 7. She hated pads as they were uncomfortable and she isn’t very organised so was forgetting to change them and getting leaks. I invested in ModiBodi pants and she can overnight or all day at school without changing. Not a single leak since she started with them. It’s a bit of a pain having to rinse them out but better than embarrassing accidents or having to strip the bed. Unfortunately they have worked out more expensive than disposable pads but worth every penny. My DD would not consider tampons at all. There are more options these days so let her go with what works for her.

RoseMartha · 07/02/2021 21:56

My asd dd started periods age 11, and despite initial reservations on her part manages with pads fine.

It was a bigger issue getting her to dispose of them properly, which two years on is not a problem.

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