AIBU to give up on my old friend?

[CarryOnBreathing]

We’ve been friends for about 20 years, it’s always been a lot about me listening to and helping her with her problems, bringing her food when she was ill, helping her with work problems with her colleagues etc. I guess I accepted it was pretty one sided, but I don’t have many times when I need to talk about my problems, mostly I’m ok. We get on well when we do see each other.

Last few years she’s forgotten my birthday twice (I’ve realised this is when I haven’t invited her to something because I haven’t done anything), cancelled things we had arranged at short notice, left me sitting in a restaurant for 20 minutes and when I called said she’s forgotten we were having dinner - but we’d only arranged it that day! Stupidly I then waited another 40 for her to arrive, but felt like an idiot the whole evening. When she gets in touch it’s often with messages about how she’s missing me, how I am an important friend to her. But she doesn’t seem to think about me at all when she’s not having a problem she wants help with. I feel like it’s just ruining my self esteem to keep responding when she does get in touch. AIBU to call it a day?

Yep, get shut. What value is she adding? Nine. Who has time for dickheads?

You don't even need to ask

If the friendship or friend doesn't make you feel good then either tell them and give them a chance to be a better friend or just call it a day

Ugh do it let go. She’s making you sad.

The restaurant thing would have been the end of it for me. Move on and concentrate on people who treat you well

@CarryOnBreathing

Your so called friend is just simply one of life's users .!

She sees friendships as what she can get out of them for her own selfish needs.!
Your emotional needs are a after thought to her.

She likes you as a friend, as you bolster up her ego,very needy emotional demands.
(and you do not expect much back,only little back,(so she does not have to even consider making a effort.

Basically you are being a mug .

I don't you are the only person she mistreats like this,I can amagine she has proberly got a form/ reptuation for this op.

Is your friend emotionally manipulative too?

You would be far better off emotionally to get rid of this emotional parasite so called friend in your life.
She does not add/enhance anything in your life whatsoever.

Thank you. Thosetales she is not manipulative. She does have long-standing and genuine mental health problems. And I’d be happy to support her if I felt she cared about me and showed that by doing basic stuff like remembering my birthday and showing up when we’ve made plans. But I don’t think I exist in her head except when she is unhappy or no one else is available, and then the support she needs is pretty full on. Which is just rubbish. So yeah, I think I’m done. Thank you all for helping me see it.