I want son to leave home but has history of mh issues

[Ohjusteffoff]

He is a total nightmare rude disrespectful lazy ignorant prejudiced and abusive. He is also 25 he is furloughed and I need him to move out but he has selfharmed due to depression in the last year and also come off medication so is up and down and unpredictable but actually pretty functional as in he has no issues seeing friends going out and doing stuff he likes I cannot put up with his (verbal and emotional not physical) abusive ways anymore but am really worried because of his mh what do I do?

Sorry to hear this op. At the end if the day, you shouldn't tolerate abuse from an adult. I can understand your worry but its time for him to move out.

Maybe ask Early Help? It's a part of Social Services which could signpost you to support in dealing with situations like this.

I may be wrong but I think Early Help is for under 16's

It's not a great time to make him homeless. Where would he go? Are his mental health issues sever enough (and backed up by medical records) that he might be considered 'priority need' for the council to assist housing him? If he can't find private rented accommodation himself. Has he looked?

Mind might be able to offer advice if you're in the UK.

Could you help him look for a place, contribute to his rent (make it clear it's just for a fixed length of time - 1 year or something) and see him on a regular basis?
If he has friends is there any scope he could live with them, or would that be a bad idea? It depends on what they are like and whether they would be a positive influence or not.

You shouldn't have to put up with his abusive ways either OP. This is a 25 year old man so although I know you cannot just cut off your own son, I think it's time to be taking steps to ensure he can move out as seamlessly as possible

Does he have additional needs? I mean apart from MH issues. Could you help with a rental property - I'd JR able to manage alone?

*is he!

@BrilliantBetty

It's not a great time to make him homeless. Where would he go? Are his mental health issues sever enough (and backed up by medical records) that he might be considered 'priority need' for the council to assist housing him? If he can't find private rented accommodation himself. Has he looked?

Mind might be able to offer advice if you're in the UK.

When is a great time to ask this grown Son to leave ?

OP feels distressed asking him to leave.. and will likely never feel safe in her own home whilst he stays.

He is 25 years old... He can make a decision to see his GP.. He can decide to take or refuse medication that GP prescribes... He can work.. or refuse to work...

OP cannot control these decisions, but she can control her own safety, and if she feels fear then she absolutely must ask him to leave.

Putting the onus on OP to 'find' him housing is a massive ask of a woman already under immense pressure from his behaviour.

He really should be sorting this out himself, but why would he leave when he is being catered for .. at home with Mum.

You need to ask him to leave OP...

When is a great time to ask this grown Son to leave ?

Well. Obviously in the midst of a global pandemic where we are in Lockdown!
adds additional pressure to what already may be a difficult situation (finding and securing appropriate accommodation) for someone with MH issues.

@BrilliantBetty

When is a great time to ask this grown Son to leave ?

Well. Obviously in the midst of a global pandemic where we are in Lockdown!
adds additional pressure to what already may be a difficult situation (finding and securing appropriate accommodation) for someone with MH issues.

and the Abuse directed at his Mother ? does she just suck it up ? No... there is help out there OP ... please contact support for yourself.. 🌺