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AIBU?

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Original poster

to not want comments when buying a pregnancy test

61 replies

Sassafrass · 31/10/2007 21:49

Bought a pregnancy test today and was completely taken aback when the lady at the till asked me if it would be good or bad news and then proceeded to ask how many children I already had and how sure I was!

I made some kind of noncommital response but I was really embarrassed. I can't help to think that when you buy intimate things the cashier should know better than to comment.

OP posts:
SquirBOOdle · 31/10/2007 23:32

It annoys me anyway when the cashier/shop assistants seem to think they can comment on what you are buying, whatever it is! I don't mind making polite converstaion, but I don't need my shopping scrutinised!

NorthernLurker · 31/10/2007 23:32

Well I suppose it's the nature of things that if you are at the point of buying a pregnancy test there are a fair few hormones flying about so being upset goes with the territory.

ChubbyScotsBurd · 01/11/2007 16:47

I remember once I went into my local then Safeways and bought a large pizza, a tub of Ben and Jerry's, a bottle of wine and a pregnancy test. The woman scanned each item and then I could see her opening her mouth to say something. Gave her a death-glare and she had a change of heart but would have ripped her head off if she'd commented. It was the wrong night to piss me off, put it that way!

TinyGang · 01/11/2007 16:52

Oh dear No way should she be making comments about that.

Were you in a supermarket? I've noticed they seem to be under orders to be 'chatty' about the contents of your trolley these days.

TinyGang · 01/11/2007 16:53

Dh becomes granit faced and gives one word answers. That usually ends the conversation.

Moorhen · 01/11/2007 19:53

It's not just the tests... was in Boots at 8.5 mths pg buying a sandwich when the cashier said "do you know what you're going to go through? It's agony. AGONY. I never had a second one because I couldn't face it".

As a nervous first-timer, I just simpered and fled. Should have bitten her or something. Would now.

YANBU, by the way!

PrincessGoodLife · 01/11/2007 20:06

Oh, come on, surely they are only being friendly! Babies and pregnancies bring excitement to some people's lives, and I'm sure that is the only reason chatty comments like this are made.

Personally if I see a pregnancy test in someone's supermarket trolley or see someone buy one at a chemist, I smile to myself, becasue I hope that they'll have a happy event to celebrate when they get home.

Maybe these cashiers are the same, but just have a need to verbalise and be sociable with people.

catsmother · 02/11/2007 09:27

Yeah, but it's not being friendly is it, to ask if it's "good or bad news" .... that's the thing. It's poking your nose into something highly personal, which, might, for all sorts of reasons be upsetting or traumatic.

As I said before, how would these people react if someone turned round and told them that actually it was "bad" news .... would they then want the lowdown on that too, in a busy shop, in front of a queue of customers ? Surely not ? .... I bet they'd blush, start stammering, and make the purchaser feel even more rotten.

I agree that most people seeing someone buying a test would of course hope that they'll have something to celebrate - but sadly that won't be the case for everyone. To draw attention to that publically is therefore very insensitive.

ItsNotaWitchMask · 02/11/2007 09:40

Sounds as if these cashiers should get more training. They must be told something, surely? Would they comment if you bought Anusol? Or KY jelly?

I've got twins, and often found myself in intimate conversations with complete strangers. Would go 'Oh, twins, how lovely. Did you know you were having two? Are you going to stop now?' etc. So now when I see twins I ignore them!

MrsArchieTheInventor · 02/11/2007 09:55

You should have bought a cucumber and tub of vaseline at the same time and see what comments she made about those!!

She shouldn't have said anything, though perhaps she was only trying to make conversation. You were right to just make a noncommital response and maybe you should contact the duty manager to explain that you felt uncomfortable and embarrassed and that the cashier in question should be told not to question customers on every item of shopping.

PrincessGoodLife · 02/11/2007 10:19

I know what you're saying, CM, but I think 'good or bad news' is just something apeople say automatically, without expecting a response, and yes, without thinking through any alternative negative consequences. Maybe it's just me. I just think we are losing our sociability by trying to keep everything so so private. We live in a society.

But saying that I live abroad in a country where it seems it is a civil right to know everything about everyone, right down to the really personal stuff (small town syndrome)!! If I bought a Pregnancy Test today I'd be getting bunches of flowers by the morning and being congratulated by random old ldaies in the street tomorrow!! lol The UK is definitely more private these days, but I reckon it used to be open a few decades ago. My god, I am sounding old now!!

PrincessGoodLife · 02/11/2007 10:20

I meant - more open a few decades ago

onebatmother · 02/11/2007 10:46

"oh no, it's not for me! It's for my 12 year-old daughter."

FioFio · 02/11/2007 10:48

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nappyaddict · 03/11/2007 00:19

when i have bought them i have had a "good luck" and a "hope its good news either way" which i thought was quite nice.

liath · 03/11/2007 08:05

Reminds me of when I went to the GP when I was pregnant with dd after 4 years of TTC.

GP - so what can I do for you.

Me (happy smile) - I'm pregnant.

GP (puts on concerned face) - Now..is this good news or bad news?

Me - If you'd bothered to look at my notes you'd know the answer to that one.

GP opens notes and sees letters from infertility clinic.......

Felt a bit mean afterwards as she was only the trainee GP.

qwertpoiuy · 03/11/2007 09:31

That has never happened to me, thank goodness - I would be so upset if it did! You just don't know the circumstances of the person buying it.

Ineedacleaner · 03/11/2007 12:31

I have had a good luck either way kind of comment. I can see why people think it is rude but I think she was probably trying to be nice because people do get excited over babies.

I remember the GP when I went and said I was pg with DD. After the is it good or bad news (good news after mc) he found it hilarious that I was going to be a mum as he knew me in my very pre-baby working full time loads of disposable income party days. HE nearly keeled over with shock when he seen me expecting baby number 2.

namechangeforsexsubject · 03/11/2007 12:35

If this happened to me I would deffo complain. Bloody cheek!

bookofthedeadmum · 05/11/2007 22:32

Funnily enough I purchased said item last Friday but the only comment I got was on the knock-down price for the Hallowe'en dress I'd also stuffed in the trolley. It was a quarter of the price it had been a day before and the cashier was amazed about this. I've put it away for her for next year. Not a peep about the test .

Elasticwoman · 06/11/2007 22:11

Unless you are thinking of terminating the pregnancy, why spend good money to tell you something that will become apparent in its own time? And risk the impertinent waffle of the bored shop assistant?

I haven't used them since I took a test that gave a negative result, and it turned out I was indeed pg. For subsequent pregnancies I just booked an appt at the dr's when I thought I was, and the dr provided the test kit when I made it clear I wasn't going to buy one.

Mean, miserly and parsimonious, moi?

So many people don't tell any one till after 12 weeks anyway.

anniemac · 06/11/2007 22:20

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BabiesEverywhere · 06/11/2007 22:53

YANBU !!!

I bought a pregnancy test from my local Boots, when DD was around 4 months old. The lady serving me actually tutted after looking at my DD and said something along the lines of 'wouldn't be good news, then dear'

I was so cross, I am over 30 years old and married, even if I had been unexpectedly pregnant...a baby is a blessing not a curse I have never felt so like slapping someone, how dare she judge me.

(I knew I wasn't pregnant but as I was constantly throwing up thought I better check before I went to the doctors...turned out to be my gall bladder...but that is another story)

Elasticwoman · 07/11/2007 15:18

Can't understand why you paid £10 or so just to do some of the dr's job for him/her.

Elasticwoman · 07/11/2007 15:19

And btw did you consider writing a letter of complaint to the manager of the store? Or telling the assistant to her face to mind her own business and not jump to conclusions - the test kit might not have been for you.