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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take the promotion?

87 replies

autumnalrain · 06/02/2021 12:44

Background: From mid December 2019 I was hired as a Maternity Cover in a Publishing role. This was my first full-time work in Publishing, but I had done up to a year of relevant Freelance work prior to that. During that freelance work, I also took industry-recognised courses to accelerate my understanding and desirability to employers/clients. The woman on maternity leave had worked for the Company for 3 years prior to her leave. From my understanding she hasn't taken any of the additional courses and she hasn’t worked in Publishing prior to this role as she changed careers. So technically she is more experienced based on years in this position and familiarity of the Company’s way of doing things, but not necessarily more competent in this skillbase if that makes sense?

Current Situation: The role officially ended 29th January 2021. But three week prior to that I was informed that a new role was being advertised. This role is basically a level above the maternity cover I was doing. The two roles have to work together for various tasks and the new role pays slightly more (we’re talking £3-4k) and has more responsibilities. However the new role is not ‘senior’ to the maternity role per-se because both roles still have to report to the same manager.

The role did specify that it required 2 years experience in a similar position but my colleague still encouraged me to apply because I had 13 months experience, 12 months freelance experience, and additional certificates/qualifications. I tailored my CV and spent days coming up with the perfect cover letter. I didn’t take this lightly because I knew it was being offered to both internal and external candidates. I got an interview, and again I put my heart and soul into it. I’m over the moon that on Thursday I was offered the position.

Dilemma: Anyway, yesterday (friday) I received an email from my work saying that the woman I covered maternity for is disappointed she didn't get the role (I didn't know for sure that she applied but assumed she would) and is disputing it with HR. The HR manager has asked me if I would be willing to agree to a job share. So basically we would share the responsibility of both the maternity role and the new role.

AIBU to not want to share the new role with her? I want to make it clear that I have no issues with her as a person (she's been pleasant from the brief times I have met her). I also empathise that being turned down for a job is not a nice experience. However, I was offered the job based on my application, and went through the (tedious) motions of the process as did all the external candidates so it's not like I got any privileges. I got the job fair and square based on my suitability. I feel like she has guilted them into asking me to a job share. The hiring manager has said it's completely up to me which if I’m honest I find annoying. Because now the blood is on my hands if I say no and because we will have to work together it might be awkward.

So WWYD? Would you accept the job share to keep the peace? Or stand your ground and take the original offer?

OP posts:
Mumoftwoinprimary · 06/02/2021 12:49

Would you therefore have to give up half the pay rise?

I guess it depends in you like her enough to give her £1500?

Ps I’m very pleasant too and take both cash and cheques.

OrigamiOwl · 06/02/2021 12:55

Stand your ground! You for the job fair and square... You put the effort in. I've been disappointed before when I haven't got a job I wanted, but that's not the success applicants fault.
She hasn't pursued extra qualifications and you clearly out performed her in interview.
I can't believe they even asked you this!

WonkyCactus · 06/02/2021 12:56

Absolutely do not agree to a job share. It was really unfair of them even to suggest that to you.

MagnoliaBeige · 06/02/2021 12:56

If the new role is a step up from the maternity role, no way would I agree to job share just to appease the maternity cover. You need to prioritise your own career and do what’s best for you.

It’s up to the company to manage any fallout from her disappointment but you shouldn’t feel obliged to give up on a job role you’ve earned about n your own merits just because she’s unhappy.

dontlikebeards · 06/02/2021 12:57

Whatever decision you make, just remember that you will have to work with this person.

SingANewSongChickenTikka · 06/02/2021 12:58

Stand your ground, it’s really inappropriate that they asked you to do that. They may be having to navigate some tricky questions from her (fairly or unfairly), given the maternity situation but that’s their situation to navigate.

MagnoliaBeige · 06/02/2021 12:59

PS I’m guessing you’re female, I’ll probably be accused of sexism but I’d guess a lot of men wouldn’t think twice about saying no. Women are socially conditioned to smooth things over and it’s really unfair of the firm to put you in the position of being the bad guy, particularly if they let her know it was your choice. I’d want clarification that she won’t be informed a job share was an option.

bitheby · 06/02/2021 13:00

I imagine that they are worried that she will argue discrimination based on pregnancy and this is their way of side stepping that. I would not agree to a job share. It is likely that she will be a nightmare to work with but she may well resign.

I worked in a department that created two new roles and the two unsuccessful internal candidates both left within a few months. They were very angry and bitter until they left and the atmosphere was awful but in your case and their case, the successful candidates got the jobs fair and square.

autumnalrain · 06/02/2021 13:00

@Mumoftwoinprimary Yes I would have to give half the pay rise. But its not even the money that I am concerned about. Its more the principle because the manager clearly thinks that I am more competent for the role than her but because she's disputing it with HR now they feel pressured.

OP posts:
AmayaBuzzbee · 06/02/2021 13:02

I would not share the job. You earned it -take it! You haven’t ’wronged’ anybody. You applied for a job and got it -congratulations!

Womencanlift · 06/02/2021 13:02

Stand your ground as you will then have a reputation as a walkover especially with the maternity woman.

With regards to working with her continue to act professionally and if she throws her dummy out the pram then that’s on her

autumnalrain · 06/02/2021 13:04

@MagnoliaBeige This is what my mum said. She said a male wouldn't even take another second to think about it and out right refuse. Its just awkward though because I would have to work with her and I'm sure she will be annoyed that her maternity cover got the role she wanted.

OP posts:
Mumoftwoinprimary · 06/02/2021 13:05

@dontlikebeards

Whatever decision you make, just remember that you will have to work with this person.
She may be unpleasant even if the Op agrees to the job share as she might think that she should have got the full job.
Wishitsnows · 06/02/2021 13:07

I doubt they would have even asked a man to share as they have with you. Stand your ground.

Lotsachocolateplease · 06/02/2021 13:09

You earned that job role and did well at interview to impress the managers enough to offer you the role. They clearly thought you were the best person for the job based on experience, you past work and your interview. Do not give that up just because she’s unhappy. If you hadn’t got the job would you have gone running to HR?
And job shares are really hard to navigate on top of a new role. You’d be mad to agree to her tantrum.

StrawBeretMoose · 06/02/2021 13:11

Congratulations @autumnalrain and sorry your success is being overshadowed by this bullshit!
You got the job fair and square.
If it had been an external candidate who had been successful this wouldn't have come up.
HR need to do their job properly and stand by the selection process that identified the best person for the job. Hate to say it but a PP is right, a man would probably have laughed out loud if this had been suggested to him.
This is not children in the playground sharing their sweeties, this is a workplace.
Under no circumstances should she be told it's your decision.
Jobshares are hard work, I've done it twice, but only so I could climb the ladder, would absolutely not do it out of choice.
If she goes on maternity leave again it will also be much more difficult to recruit to the jobshare role and effectively leave you training someone new in two roles while trying to get your work done. (Same issue would apply to her if you take maternity leave but she's the one asking for an unreasonable compromise, you shouldn't compromise and nor should the company).
Honestly I think you should say you thought it was a joke, they can't be serious, but if they are take legal advice. Do you have the offer in writing?

Sunshinebunshine · 06/02/2021 13:11

I would refuse to job share but not speak to anyone else that you have been given the option to choose. Make it seem as if you had no say in this. You applied, got the job. Hr would be seriously an issue if they told her they will ask you. This is a ppriedkat place of work. I went for my ex managers job, didn't get it and a new person got it. She is now my manager. I was disappointed but hey ho that is life

EskSmith · 06/02/2021 13:11

Take the job. Yes she is disappointed but she has to deal with it. HR are being super unfair to you. They need to own their recruiting decision and push back to her.

If you were to agree there are far too many what is, what if she decides not to come back or what if she asks for part time or what if she leaves. You are still then stuck with the shared job with someone else.

Definitely say no and I'd be making clear to HR that I felt I shouldn't have been asked.

TitsOot4Xmas · 06/02/2021 13:12

I’m in HR and would tell the other candidate that she could request feedback on her performance but in an open competition someone else performed better/has more relevant experience/quals and she should focus on her own development in readiness for promotion later.

The interview panel should have clear evidence that you scored highest.

CindersCatsSister · 06/02/2021 13:14

Surely if they had wanted a job share, they’d have advertised a job share???

TitsOot4Xmas · 06/02/2021 13:14

It’s not a job share - they’re sharing 2 jobs rather than one.

AlwaysCheddar · 06/02/2021 13:16

No way to a job share!

Xmassprout · 06/02/2021 13:16

I wouldn't agree to this

therearefourlights · 06/02/2021 13:16

It’s so fucked up of them to put you in this position.

If you say no, you’re the bad guy, even though they choose you for the job. Working with the woman may be difficult, and she may use her knowledge and connections within the company to make life hard for you.

If you say yes, you’re sacrificing your own take home pay and slowing down your career progression, because another woman wasn’t happy you got the job she wanted.

HR are being little shits. They’ve made you a job offer and are now basically trying to get you agree to changing the terms.

If it were me, I’d say I will share the role but I’m not willing to sacrifice the pay. Ball is back in their court then. But that’s because it’s all be about the money for me. I’d be able to spin the new responsibilities of the new job to make them sound as good as if I were doing them full time, so I wouldn’t be concerned about that.

autumnalrain · 06/02/2021 13:19

@StrawBeretMoose Thank you. I will take the original offer and make sure HR knows I am not pleased to be put in that predicament. Any tips if her mood is sour and how to stay professional?

OP posts:
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