Have you managed to get a teen to change school, if so how!

[Snowsnowglorioussnow]

Teen DD is year 8 and her school went from good to the next one down.
I have been concerned about it for a while, started to get teacher retention issues etc.
So the academic side concerns me, they did nothing over lock down, last time, this time I admit its much better.

Then the social side also concerns me, she has not reached out to one so called friend over this lock down and doesn't chat to them on line or talk - she has a phone. She stuck with her old gang but they melted away...so the social side isn't going well...

But she says she is happy....when I was a dc I moved school 3 times due to house moves and once wen I wasn't thriving.
DD isn't thriving and I can try and move her but how - shes too young to understand thriving or change..

Yes will do, such a shame we can't actually go for a look around..

I did.

1. DD knew her school was shit
2. The new school was one of the best in the city
3. It was in a really cool area that she loved hanging out in anyway.
4. It had no uniform.

I moved schools 6 times as a kid (my parents moved housed/countries a lot). It was absolutely fine. Last time I moved because I wasn't doing well at one of the schools (there was mild bullying and the school was going downhill). I was 13 and I really thrived at my new school and made friends (one of them is still my best friend to this day and I'm 35). It will be fine honestly

Why did you pick this school in the first place?
Do those reasons still stand?
It's not the best circs to judge re friendships etc - she will have had so little time in school at all in Y7 and Y8.

FWIW I moved DD mid Yr 7, but she was hardly attending and very unhappy, although she maintained otherwise. We were offered a place at another school, and I did not consult her on the decision, which goes against the grain of much of the way we usually parent. The minute she got there she was tranformed back into the happy person I hadn't seen since she was 9. She's Y9 now and it was absolutely the right decision, academically, socially, all round.

Her being happy is the main thing. She won't succeed more highly if she's unhappy.

I hate, I was reluctant but swayed because we thought it was at least good and her old school friends were going.

But academic wise it's home down hill and friends never took off.

Of the 2 years she's had there, she's had what? 2 terms Y7, and 1 term Yr8, in hardly usual times. I set little store by Ofsted ratings, more on my childrens' experiences. And she's had little time to "find her people".

Is she unhappy? Have you discussed it with her? How adaptable is she?
Or are you just thinking the grass is greener?

Xela m, that's what I'm hoping, it won't be a big deal but it is to her because she's run with the same pack way back to toddler groups... But this is also why I think this will be a great experience for her..

I moved my dd last February in year 9. We'd moved and her journey was a bit of a headache and my eldest dd was in year 11 and the school were rapidly going down hill. She moved 3 weeks before the first school closures. She's actually done incredibly well, nice group of friends, happy and academically doing really well. My eldest dd was so impressed with what she saw she's gone there to do her a levels! Best thing we did

Chenin, I think in some ways my dd is lucky she's had a smooth transition since tiny, I think it's really important to have a small challenge..... It's just nerve wracking.

I know people say they've not had the chance to bond but her form is limited for the rest of her time... Where we live is quite limited.
I'm strongly want her to be move for all sorts of reasons but I'm so worried it won't work out. But I feel it's my responsibility to try and move her.
I was moved twice to my absolute benefit unfortunately I can't talk to my mum about it she's no longer longer with us.

It would be easier to hear her tell me how I hated it.

"But I feel it's my responsibility to try and move her."

Well this is how I felt with my DD, but her situation was miserable.

Have you even been to see the proposed new school? Have you spoken to parents whose children go there? And have they got places? The way it tends to work for mid year (if UK) is that you need to apply and if there is a place you need to take it - you can't hold a place for her until September.

I hate yes.. I I've done much scoping, never heard a bad word about it!!
I'm not naive I'm sure some people must be unhappy!

I really felt it right to move my dd. She could've continued with her journey but I knew the school wasn't right for her. I've asked her many times and her face lights up when I ask was it the right move. It was, I knew in my heart it was. Looking back a year it was huge, and then she only did 3 weeks before September, but she's adjusted so well and goes in now on key worker status, but is so much happier and doing really well. If it feels right to move her I'd say do it

honestly it will be harder for her to make friends if she moves now. She says shes happy then thats the main thing. Maybe youre projecting your needs onto her. I did move my ds at end of year 7 and in some ways that was already disruptive enough and the grass isnt always greener

Thank you chenin, I can see she's just lost her gloss and spark and I really want to see it back and it's not gone since lock down, she's fine it was since end of primary..

Bran obviously this is the worry but she doesn't know really have one now and the class she will be going into will be totally mixed up.

How does the current school manage gsces without putting the children into different groups? Surely the whole form, created in Y7, doesn't have to choose the same options?

Good point I am not sure?

That is what I meant about mixing classes for GCSEs. She may stay in the same form/tutor group, but for actual lessons, I am sure she will be mixing with other groups.

But how long will she join those other groups for?

So she's in English with top group blah.. Sees them a few hours a week, top set for maths.. Different students maybe some the same blah hours a week..

Again and again but mostly with her form, not in spilt groups?

How can she make other friends? The sole point of contact is her form group..

She'll likely be with a different group for each subject. It's a great way to get to know others in her year.

Obviously not at the moment, but once back in school would she join any extra curricular clubs? Even if not sporty or musical, most schools do other clubs as well. Again another way of getting to know others with similar interests.