My father is in his early 90's and lives alone since the death of my mother ten years ago. He's in reasonable but declining health though quite self-sufficient. He recently suggested my husband and I go and live with him, saying he would love to have me around (we are very close) and how handy my husband would be for practical matters. The benefits of this would be twofold, he would have our support and company and we would be closer to him and not have to pay rent. Our children have all left home so it wouldn't be unfeasible however I am wondering if it would work.
On the one hand the thought of being close to him is lovely, especially to give him love and care, though he can be demanding and judgemental. Pre pandemic we visited weekly and helped out a lot.
He is very wealthy with a decent sized house but when the discussions first came up he suggested converting several outhouses into a self-contained apartment (which would have been better) but that idea has suddenly changed and become living in the actual house with him. He's pointing out how much rent we would save and how much more space we would have. It's true, we've always struggled financially despite working hard whereas my four siblings are all very comfortable. But I don't want this to be about being better off financially...he lives in a very remote location which I don't especially like and I would have a long daily commute to my job which I'm not prepared to give up as I've worked my way up and love it. My dad has hinted that I could find another job in his area, which would pay less and he would compensate. My husband can work from anywhere with his job and is very easy going and amenable to the idea.
I'm scared to give up my independence and life I enjoy but am feeling guilty and torn over what to do. I think the pandemic has made my father incredibly lonely hence he's come up with this idea.
What would you honestly do?