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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not feel like buying DS1&2 any Christmas presents?

29 replies

laura032004 · 31/10/2007 21:07

I don't know what to get them. There isn't anything DS1 really wants, apart from everything he sees advertised on NickJr.

I could only think of one good thing to get DS1 - a camera, and my parents are going to buy that. My two DS's are the only grandchildren on both sides of the family, so will be spoilt rotten by grandparents and aunties. My DH comes from a big family where everyone buys for everyone , so they will get 20 or so presents each that way too. People we don't see often will send us money to buy something, so any other ideas get swallowed up that way (some really really want us to get them things rather than put the money in their accounts).

Don't get me wrong - I love buying them new presents, but I buy them things all year round. I love car boot sales and nearly new sales, and if I ever see anything they'd like, I buy it and they get it there and then. I don't hoard everything up until Christmas. Should I? Am I wrong to give them presents year round, rather than adding to the huge pile they'll get (and not particularly appreciate) on one day.

The past few years we've only bought them a few token gifts. Poor DS2 is even harder done by, as we've got so many toys already, that there is nothing left to buy for him.

Does this go on in other families? Will it change in the next few years, when he really does want particular presents, so I should just enjoy this year, and not buy much?

OP posts:
essbeeavenue · 31/10/2007 21:14

Message withdrawn

Original poster
laura032004 · 31/10/2007 21:17

So have you saved up the presents since they were small? Perhaps that's what I should do? I just prefer them to get new things, and enjoy them one at a time. Anyone else like me? They'll still get a heap of stuff at Christmas. Just not from their parents.

OP posts:
UnionJack · 31/10/2007 21:19

I don't buy presents for my children unless its their birthday or Christmas.

Don't you think your boys will appreciate things more if they are only given them on a couple of occasions rather than drip fed the whole year?

Original poster
laura032004 · 31/10/2007 21:22

Maybe. They're 1 & 3 at the moment. They don't have loads and loads of things. They had a lot more, but I have cleared out loads lately as it was driving me mad. DS1 has just started asking for things lately, and expecting them, so maybe we're going wrong somewhere. For the last year we've been trying to get him to poo on the toilet, so every toy request has been met with 'when you do a poo on the toilet', and that was the end of it. Now he's started doing poos on the toilet, we've got problems!

OP posts:
FunkyGlassSlipupandyouredead · 31/10/2007 21:24

I get DDs presents throughout the year.

At christmas there will be one big present from FC and a small present from us. Everything else will be from relatives.

MrsBlobby · 31/10/2007 21:26

Do you think it's a good idea to give them the money instead of the presents? That's what I'm thinking of doing for my DS.

TheHeadlessDuchess · 31/10/2007 21:27

What about buying stuff that they'll need/want in 6 months or so for chrsitmas and keeping in teh cupboard for later in the year?

dramaqueen · 31/10/2007 21:28

My dc get stuff birthdays and christmas, and something at the start of the sumemr holidays (and that's usually becasue my mum gives them £10 to spend when we go away). However they are 6 & 4. They do get books, though, during term time.

Your dc are younger than mine, and I do remember giving them stuff as we went along when they were toddlers. There does come a point though when you have to stop doing that and let them realise that they can't have everything instantly. Perhaps now is the time to introduce the concept of waiting?

chankins · 31/10/2007 21:28

I've had to tell the in-laws in particular to stop buying our lot so much at christmas and birthdays - they were going mad every time adnd turning up with bin liners full of stuff - so it seemed pointless us buying them anything, and I think was really spoiling them and making them expect lots of presents.

So now we have said only one present per child, per occasion, and as little as often in between. We used the fact we have a small house as the main excuse ! So far they have listened, and for dd1s last b'day she only got one thing from each person, and didn't bat an eye lid because she was so pleased with what she had got.

It means we can enjoy thinking about what to get them for christmas, because it won't be outdone by the tons of things they were chucking at them !

TheEvilDediderata · 31/10/2007 21:31

It depends how you define a present.

I buy my ds stuff all the time. But I buy them because they're toys and educational/fun. I buy them from charity shops, and when he's had enough of them, providing they're still OK, I give them back to the charity shops.

I must admit, I'm struggling myself to know what to buy him for Christmas. But at his age, he thinks that Father Christmas buys the toys, so I'll leave that to him

yomellamoHelly · 31/10/2007 21:32

I just feel that come Christmas they'll get so many presents from everyone else that what they get from us won't be played with properly.
I'll probably change my mind as they get older and everyone calms down a bit in terms of how much stuff they buy for them.

spookthief · 31/10/2007 21:36

My ds will be one this Christmas and we'll just be getting him a little thing. He's still too little to care!

I think one present each and some stocking fillers, if they're old enough to appreciate them is a good habit to get into. You can bulk it up if you want by giving them some stuff that they need like new clothes and making them their "Christmas jumper" or similar .

Little children get easily overwhelmed by too much stuff.

ellehcim · 31/10/2007 21:37

I can't resist buying things throughout the year (to the extent that if I mention the word surprise DS1 (2.5) thinks he's getting a present)but I justify it on the basis that I mainly buy books.

Love going mad at Chistmas though. This year however I've spent £170 so far on DS1 but only 79p on DS2. We have everything he needs! He will only be 6 months so he won't know but it will get really hard in future years. Our house already looks like a toy shop.

Shoelacetripper · 31/10/2007 21:38

Maybe you could give them retro boys presents - these are bit old for them, but you get the idea.

Original poster
laura032004 · 31/10/2007 21:39

yomellamoHelly - that's exactly how I feel. I've tried to start up a few toy collections - wooden train set, Britain's Farm, KidsKnex, fancy dress, so they can be added to. Perhaps I need to think of a new collection? What age do they start playing with lego? We've only got Duplo at the moment. Or maybe Playmobil? It's complicated by the fact that DS2 is currently destroying anything that DS1 plays with, so he's not getting to use his 'bitty' toys much at the moment.

OP posts:
Original poster
laura032004 · 31/10/2007 21:40

SLT - I'm sure DH will be buying things like that in years to come Maybe he needs to get more involved with all this. I'm only used to girls toys!

OP posts:
spookthief · 31/10/2007 21:41

What ds would really like for Christmas is a remote control. Tis tempting just to giftwrap the one for the telly

Original poster
laura032004 · 31/10/2007 21:43

We have lots of 'fake' remote controls. DS2 isn't interested, unless they provoke a reaction - from the TV, or from DS1 or DH screaming when their programme goes off!

OP posts:
sugarfree · 31/10/2007 21:48

Good idea from TheDuchess.What about a sandpit or little trampoline for next Summer,between them?

OMGhelp · 31/10/2007 21:53

I don't buy 'prezzie' througout the year, just for birthday and Chritmas. I dont class the small things like a book, clothes or McDonalds toy as prezzies. I am mean in that if he nags for a particular item I tell him to use his own money for it (I made him 'earn' his gerbil and equipment). He has his own account which has birthday money 'earned' money, and tooth fairy money in it. It soon stops him asking, but it also gives me a good idea what to look for before Christmas. As the only 'child' in the family, no cousins etc. under 20yrs, so he gets spoilt rotten by everybody, but only at special occasions.
I found that classic toys that could be added to as they get older help a lot. Mega blocks, then Lego then all of the extra kits like Pirates, or Astronaughts. Even the wooden train sets that you can build up are great as he still plays with it at 10, but it now fills two large crates and takes up the lounge floor with crossings and bridges etc.

hifi · 31/10/2007 22:07

i buy throughout the year, she still has some birthday presents from june i havent given her yet, she never asks for anything.we are away at xmas thank god, but will take some books,dvds and puzzles to give her on the day. my family give her money so she has a right stash at the moment.

Original poster
laura032004 · 31/10/2007 22:09

They don't really need any more garden toys , apart from perhaps a swing..... DH has said no when I've suggested one previously.

I'm thinking lego... and it's expensive, so you can't buy much of it

OP posts:
TooTicky · 31/10/2007 22:10

Can you do days out instead?

Original poster
laura032004 · 31/10/2007 22:11

I do sometimes remove some of their xmas pressies for later on in the year. It's great to be able to produce a new toy on a rainy day! Or if they're age inappropriate, they can go away for a long time!

I'm currently feeling guilty for putting lots of their toys on Ebay, but they had too many, and they won't miss them. I did freecycle some to ease my conscience, but I think I chose the wrong people.

OP posts:
Doodledootoo · 31/10/2007 22:12

Message withdrawn