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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DOGS

108 replies

Getmeoutofhere2019 · 06/02/2021 00:04

At the beach with my 5 and 2yr old today. Sitting by the wavebreaks building sand castles. Too many dogs off leads coming over and invading our space. Trampling our area and getting in the children's face. Closely followed by an owner saying "oh its ok ... they are friendly " AIBU to be totally annoyed by this. I never know how to respond to the owner. NO Its not OK .... or just smile and nod.

OP posts:
CollieDug · 06/02/2021 00:10

No they’re irresponsible dog owners

(Though I’m the person who would happily encourage every dog I see to come
Over for a pat)

But no - my dog is not allowed to approach others without them indicating they want to say hello. And never ever with kids - despite being the loveliest fluffiest friendliest dog, I would never want him approaching kids, especially ones who may be terrified.

ikeepseeingit · 06/02/2021 00:10

I'm wondering if a lot of these new incidences are from new dog owners in the pandemic? There does seem to be a rise in inconsiderate owners. YANBU dogs should be kept under control at all times. It's easier on your behalf though to smile as long as they do actually call the dog back, mainly so that the dog goes away. One tip I have is to cross your arms and turn your back on the dog (if it is just being overly friendly!!) and not engage in it at all. They normally soon get the picture even if the owner doesn't.

anotherlongwalk · 06/02/2021 00:11

I'm a dog owner to and excitable friendly puppy and YANBU. Off lead dogs should not approach people or other dogs. It bad owners. They give us responsible owners a bad name. Dogs can go off lead no problem, once they've been properly trained to have excellent recall.

NotFabulousDarling · 06/02/2021 00:12

No I think dogs should be kept on leads at beaches because it's horrible to be digging in sand or combing for shells with a child and find a big dog egg. Envy

FrankButchersDickieBow · 06/02/2021 00:23

I'm a dog owner and this is not acceptable OP

Joiningthegossip · 06/02/2021 00:28

No it's not acceptable, this happened to us once and the dog took a piss up my daughters back!!! I was so cross, I had to shout at her to stand up and get away as the dog owner wasn't near enough.

yellowgecko · 06/02/2021 00:35

It's not just beaches, we were in local park today and almost all dogs were off leads. DS4 is small and scared of dogs, made worse by a dog off a lead in the summer making a beeline for him to 'play' and kept jumping up. Still kicking myself I did t give the owner a piece of my mind. Can't stand it, It's definitely been worse over lockdown.

DavidsSchitt · 06/02/2021 01:22

When I've walked with my friend and her dog he bounds up to people and she shouts, "it's ok he's friendly"....I always think about the person that didn't anticipate a dog invading their space. "Friendly" or otherwise

LadyMayoGoodway · 06/02/2021 01:29

Dod owners are in the majority selfish and entitled assholes. Of course this is not ok. But most dog owners think it is.

Shakirawannabe · 06/02/2021 01:30

Oh I would love it but I love dogs Grin

Imonaplane · 06/02/2021 08:14

Dog owners are in the majority responsible and not selfish, entitled or assholes. It's a small minority that give the rest of us a bad name. Of course it's not acceptable to let your dog bother other people. Of course it's not acceptable to not pick up after your dog.

TheMarzipanDildo · 06/02/2021 08:18

“Dod owners are in the majority selfish and entitled assholes.”

We picked up our new dog last night. Will I have turned into a selfish and entitled arsehole yet?

MillieEpple · 06/02/2021 08:20

Its not ok.

When people say 'its ok he is friendly' to us, I often say 'well we arent friendly ' (unless the owner looks like they might hit me)

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 06/02/2021 08:22

YANBU at all I absolutely hate this, I'm very nervous of big dogs and I must act as some sort of beacon because the big ones always manage the sniff me out and jump on me, as their owner stands as if it's some sort of privilege to be slathered on by their mutt Hmm but this is MN and the crazy dog people who value dogs more than humans will probably jump on you

Theunamedcat · 06/02/2021 08:24

My son is scared of dogs its blatantly obvious good dog owners short leash their dogs or call them back to them but loads of people just think calling out its OK he loves kids or he is friendly is fine its really not fine and totally unhelpful

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 06/02/2021 08:25

I also say something to irresponsible dog owners who let their dogs jump on me or the kids - just can you put three on a lead or I remind them of the beach rules

I used to seek out beaches that have no-dog policies but honestly it's pointless as too many entitled wankers think it's their "fur babies" right to go there, and no one is about to stop it.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 06/02/2021 08:25

@LadyMayoGoodway

Dod owners are in the majority selfish and entitled assholes. Of course this is not ok. But most dog owners think it is.
Bollocks.

You just don't notice the responsible ones so they don't stick out in your memory.

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 06/02/2021 08:27

@LadyMayoGoodway

Dod owners are in the majority selfish and entitled assholes. Of course this is not ok. But most dog owners think it is.
I agree with this.

And yes I do think it's become worse over lockdown with the surge of stupid people buying dogs who are unprepared to train and care for them properly

Eeeemac · 06/02/2021 08:30

You are not being unreasonable.

We have a lovely dog but we do not expect other people to want to pet him or tolerate him.

MaskingForIt · 06/02/2021 09:10

@LadyMayoGoodway

Dod owners are in the majority selfish and entitled assholes. Of course this is not ok. But most dog owners think it is.
Much like cat owners who let their precious little fluffykins shit in people’s gardens and then shrug their shoulders.
nicky7654 · 06/02/2021 09:13

Doesn't bother me in the slightest. The more the better. Lots of strokes for the furbabies 😊

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 06/02/2021 09:15

Much like cat owners who let their precious little fluffykins shit in people’s gardens and then shrug their shoulders.

Well do you not think it's slightly different when a cat, who is essentially wild and therefore shits in the wild, defecates while their owner isn't around, than a dog owner who sees their dog shit and chooses to do nothing, but walks away.
Cat owners do not own cat bums, they don't "allow" their cats to shit in other people's gardens. Dog owners similarly don't "allow" their dogs to shit anywhere either but they have the ability to pick it up and it's cunty as hell not to (or possibly worse, pick it up then hang the shitty bag on a tree branch Angry)

hazandduck · 06/02/2021 09:20

We had this in the woods the other day. My 3 year old has good experience with dogs and is very good with strange dogs, doesn’t scream or run, this bloody massive staffy barged up to her then jumped up two paws on her chest sent her flying! Then came over to the pushchair where baby was sleeping and stuck it’s head underneath and licked their water bottles, properly covering them in slobber. I wanted to kick it, I did say “get out of it!” in a stern voice, the horrible thing then started barking at me. The owner was laughing. Dogs without any sort of discipline or recall should always be on a lead in public spaces. (I am not staffy bashing I know some lovely ones btw.)

I agree with Pp it’s the surge in ‘lockdown dogs’ that’s worsening things. I feel sorry for all these animals that will probably end up in rescue centres.

weebarra · 06/02/2021 09:25

I'm a relatively new dog owner (dpup is nearly 1) and this really angers me. I also hate when I'm walking him and an off lead dog comes up and jumps all over him.
My dog is an excitable puppy and I don't want other dogs getting him more excited when I'm trying to reassure and calm him.

wetotter · 06/02/2021 09:31

They are irresponsible

As well as fulminating, I suggest you seek No Dogs beaches (for the only dogs permitted will be on-duty guide dogs, who really won't be behaving as you describe)

If there isn't one, campaign for a stretch to be turned in to one. Or if one is seasonal, to have it extended to year-round.

Most dogs and dog owners are just fine. It just takes one asshole to ruin a day. Or one genuine accident - you'll know if it's that if the owner is apologetic, embarrassed and seeking to make amends - and the dog is back on lead for the next however long it takes to work on recall.