How is it possible to complain about your manager AND keep your job

[NevillesBreville]

Our manager is quite frankly bloody awful. He’s never had any management training, he was given the role because he’s mates with the manager above him.

Typical examples of behaviour to our all women team are we are not allowed a voice, we are massively overworked yet if we mention it we are told it’s tough, get on with it. He has lied about there being a recruitment ban when other departments are recruiting. He is stalling our return to the office as he doesn’t want to travel, he basically gets away with murder working from home. If we are short staffed due to leave he will never muck in to help take pressure off the rest of us, we have to suck it up.

If you go to him to ask a question he will string you out to dry whilst condescendingly giving you the answer, he loves nothing better than to make you look small in front of everyone. He has a superiority complex and will at all costs dumb us down to make himself look good.

He’s rude and misogynistic - if you attempt to reason with him or suggest better ways of working he won’t entertain the idea as ‘theyve tried it all before’. We are regularly told to stop whinging, shut up, basically unless we all just be quiet, work like dogs and don’t cause a fuss then that’s ok. If he’s challenged about anything he’ll just raise his voice and turn everything around saying things like ‘I know you think I’m a piece of shit’ etc.

I just don’t know where to start in complaining about this. It’s all so subtle in some ways, the other women all know what he’s like but have varying levels of tolerance for him. One of two are brown nosers so won’t join together to form a group complaint. Most people don’t want to rock the boat so put up with it.

His boss is his mate so we are stuffed, any ideas where to go with this? He has form with HR over a previous complaint from someone that he wormed out of so I’m sure they’d be interested in knowing the score. But honestly I don’t want to see him lose his job, and the shit storm that would arise from a complaint I’ve not got the energy for. I guess I need to move...would you agree?

Transfer department. Talk to other managers in same level as him in other departments.

Do you have a HR Dept? Will other team members stand by you or will they look the other way? I’d start by keeping a record of behaviour, dates and times and what was said.
I don’t think you’ll get far with regards to going back to the office yet, due to covid. Have other departments returned to work?

I’ve never worked this out either; I think I’d probably leave especially with the boss above being his friend

The only option you have is to make a complaint knowing you're leaving and aim to get compensation by suggesting you're going to sue for constructive dismissal and getting a compromise agreement. Unless you can transfer within the company to another manager you will never get this awful man 'sorted out'. He's mates with his boss and because you guys work so hard the perception is that this is because he's a good manager. I've seen this happen so often in large corps it's soul destroying I know. Start looking for something else I would say.