To get divorced?

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Posted for traffic.

What made you think enough is enough?

How much can he drag you down before you call it quits?

I think it’s when you’ve tried to make it work but you just can’t give anymore.

Not a divorce but in hindsight it was over when I made excuses to stay (he's been so good to me, he needs me, he doesn't mean to, I've put so much in, I love his family).

Stayed too long, lost everything and I swear within 3 months I had a new life.

Do it op, you don't need a 'good enough' reason

Thank you for your replies.

It’s a bit confusing. He is generally nice etc but he has this side of his personality (which none of his friends see) that makes him really self pitying, angry etc. I think he gets it from his mum, as all she does is complain (she was even miserable on our wedding day as she said she felt she was losing her son - even though at that point we’d been together a decade).

He’s very unhappy in his career. But he’s never liked a job he’s had. So that’s why I think he takes after his mum and is never happy.

But it’s not that he just moans a bit every now and then about his job. It’s practically every day.

Then he also complains he doesn’t do enough on the weekend, in terms of reading or studying. I try to encourage him that anything he does is brilliant after working all week.

I just feel like he zaps joy and fun out of my life. That’s not to say we don’t have any, but I’m really starting to feel that I don’t want to continue like this for the rest of my life.

I would be interested to hear how much moaning/ complaining etc is normal to hear from your DH?!

Joy sucking is what he’s an Ex
It won’t improve
Go now and find happiness

Dementor. Get rid

I’d say imagine if he dropped to the floor and needed help and you were hesitant 😂 not like you want anything to happen to them etc but just the fucking peace and that they’d no longer be your problem or just when you no longer feel upset or annoyed . Like genuinely you just are not bothered and you’d be grateful if they had an affair because that seems the only valid way to get rid of them ( even though there’s various other ways to betray someone that just seems to be a stickler!)
Disclaimer: ex husband is Alive and well and it’s amicable.

I think it’s time OP 💕 you deserve more

Mumsnet will always, always, tell you to end a relationship. Not sure why, it’s just a thing.

Everyone is a bit miserable and depressed after a year of covid - don’t decide anything now, wait til things are more normal is my suggestion.

But really we’re just strangers on the internet I strongly suggest you ignore us all and go take to your DH about how you can both feel happier.