AIBU to think homeschooling us ruining my relationship with my children?

[wingingit169]

How is everybody coping with homeschool? My 2 DC are in year 1 and my god I am struggling sob I feel like I am constantly yelling and running out of patience. We are all finding it really hard. Home is not school and I am not their teacher so obviously they are finding it very hard to keep focus and the school post work online daily that needs completing, how are they supposed to keep focused when sat at a laptop with pencil and paper all day? I am struggling for time to do anything other than work with them all day and tbh my mental health is suffering because if it all. I am so down with all the lockdowns, my DC are struggling and I feel like it is literally ruining our relationship/home life. I have hit a wall today and broke down in tears in front of DC just feeling like a crappy mam and not seeing a way out of this lockdown. Am i alone or are other parents feeling the same?

My DS is in year 8, he needs 1-1 help as he has SEN. I’m his mum not his TA and it’s really stressful for us both, he’s fighting for his independence whilst also needed support with his school work. It’s breaking us both.

I think a lot of people are feeling that way.

Honestly you've reached a point where attempting schooling is doing more harm than good to your children. A calm and happier mother is far more beneficial than whatever known you're attempting to teach.

Blow off the home schooling. Tell the teacher why.

Year 1 is not make or break. Go for a walk and count the numbers on the houses. Do craft and talk about colours. Watch an animal documentary and talk about it. You can weave education into low stress things.

Give yourself a break. Survival is enough sometimes.

I gave up doing Fridays.. Film Friday here. Sat with 2 x dc watching Kangaroo Jack and eating popcorn..
Catch up in bits over the week end when we all less stressed.. Got 5 to home school here. Def not cut out for this!!

I felt like this last year. It’s better for me now as they’re all in secondary and their school work is now brilliantly structured, unlike last year when I was spending all my time nagging / trying to help. I’m assuming if you have two in year 1 then you have twins, and, from experience, this can also be a challenge in itself!

I have cried and still cry many times in front of my kids. It’s not always great but sometimes those tears just fall out. You are doing your best and you are definitely not alone. In year 1 it really won’t matter too much if they aren’t getting it all done. School need to be understanding of everyone’s situations.

Thank god it’s Friday and you can hopefully try to enjoy the weekend with them. Tomorrow is a new day.

It's hard but they are in year one. Do the bare minimum the school sets. (Phonics and maths is more than enough) if they send topic do something fun around the topic and then play. They learn by play at this age.
What's the worst that could happen if you do that?

YANBU!

Both dh and I work, not from home, but are not classed as key workers so both are two at home.

DD is year 10 and has a full timetable, plus has been told she needs to keep her course work completely up to date etc, just in case. DS is 9 and a very reluctant learner. DD watches him whilst I'm at work, which is a life saver tbh. DS attempts his two live sessions on his own, but the rest is done when I get in from work.

It's a night mare tbh! I'm completely stressed, and dh has no patience with ds so it is me doing it all. Thank goodness is happy to cook etc.

We have sacked off a couple of lessons, but I think that's entirely acceptable and we all just have to do what we can to get through this difficult time.

I'm almost given up foundation and y2 kids. Both have had enough. 4yo said he hated rhyming poems after 2 days of looking at it. 6yo is fed up with the great fire of London and trying to write a newspaper article. Said kid doesn't know what a newspaper or letter is. (My fault for not being old fashioned?).
6yo said I do schoolwork at school not at home. Both kids want to know why most of their classmates are in school but they are not. (We live in an area popular with nhs staff and teachers).

I am lucky to be a stay at home mum right now and I only have two children so I can’t complain too much. The constant meal prep is soul-destroying and I don’t get much free time during the day but I am able to sit with my younger child to help her and make sure my older child is staying on task (and deal with the ever-present tech issues!). We are all bored out of our minds and cannot WAIT to go back to school but I think I will miss them when it happens. The kids bicker and argue constantly but they have also been doing much more creative and involved play than they do when other activities and friends are available. I think this time has actually strengthened their relationship to each other. I would never in a million years wish for this and I feel for the millions of people who have been affected negatively as a result of this virus. But for us it has been alright (so far🤞).

I should also add that I’ve been using screens liberally, especially TV. Somehow I feel less guilty when we are watching something together than when they are on separate devices. I know they are already on screens for school but it gets us through the day!

It IS hard, but don't make it harder than it needs to be. I have a yr 1 child as well, and they do need full supervision to help explain, direct and handle the technology. But I find if it's really getting too much, I just stop. Let them let off some steam playing then go back to it later.
How much work are they expected to do? We have around 3hrs a day, including practical 'topic' work. Our topic work is anything I can find related to the subject - colouring, watching a film, cooking etc.
What are your children's interests? Are they into sport, art or writing? I'd try and focus on that so they enjoy it more.
Our school is great, and Fridays are for catching up on anything missed in the week.
Don't feel guilty about screen time, unfortunately it's something they need to get used to and will use it more and more during school.

It's year 1. Do something else. Play games, go outside, watch Cbbc.

Honestly, they'll be fine. Yelling and crying won't help and it's not the end of the world. Turn the laptop off it's the weekend

What CupOfTeaAlonePlease said. Your relationship is more important than the curriculum. If it’s a conflict, drop it.

I think this is why schools who are able to do more online live teaching with teachers supervising the work, definite timetables and registrations are actually working best mainly because they are taking the pressure off the parents. The routine is so key.
For year 1, a full day on zoom isn't possible but a 30 mins live maths and 30 live mins phonics/english lesson a day is possible and going to make more impact than parents battling through a full timetable of work. The parent-child relationship is very different from a teacher-child relationship. The structures of school are just so important for learning for most children.
Children work best when they are accountable to their teachers, not the parents.

My son did nothing in lockdown last year - he was in year 1. We could barely get him to write a single word. We gave him other activities - found some maths computer games that he enjoyed. He really liked some of the bbc bite size games. Made sure he was playing with something vaguely constructive like Lego at least some of the time. Pushed him outside regularly. Definitely don’t push school if it is making everyone miserable.

I'm in the same position, OP. And I'm not prepared to just blow off the schoolwork, because my DS is a slow learner and he will not just catch up. He needs to be understanding the concepts they are studying, and it is tortuous for us both. But if he goes back not knowing them, he will just sit there vaguely nodding with his eyes unfocused, and fall even further behind.

If I had an academic advanced child I'd say screw it and let them draw unicorns, but for those of us who can't afford to do that, it's a long hard slog.

I worked in year 1 some time ago and it's still very much learning through play.

OP. Ditch the formal learning. They don't need it at this age.

Read to them. Let them paint, draw, make things out of play dough. Imaginary play is still important at this age. Play simple board games, this also helps them practice simple maths in a very stress free and fun way, let them take turns to keep score etc. Play outside in the garden if you have one or a daily trip to the park to run around and look for signs of the emerging Spring. Let them dress up and put on a show, they can draw and cut out tickets for you etc.

These are all learning opportunities but more importantly you and your DC will have fun doing them.

Good luck.