My husbands drinking

[Isaidpivot]

Hi I've changed my name as I don't want it linked to my usual account.

Basically this is a recent issue between us and I am needing some outside perspective and what others do in their own lifes. So my husband since Christmas in his two weeks say shift has been drinking every night. Now when I say drinking I mean no more than 4 beers and the very occasional whiskey. Just so I have given all information I tend to drink at the weekend. I buy 2 bottles of wine on Friday and I usually have one a night or 3 glasses each night meaning on a Sunday there will still be half a bottle left which I usually leave till the following weekend.

I think my husband drinking every night is to much. He doesn't see it as an issue because it's only a few and he isn't in any way drunk and is still going to bed at a normal time and isn't sitting up till the early morning. It's causing tension between us.

I have spoke to two friends one thinks its completely unacceptable and the other doesn't see the harm as it's not having an impact on our life and it's his way of chilling out after working all day.

Opinions welcome please

Its too much to me, that doesn’t mean its wrong I guess.

Daily drinking to me feels problematic, and the idea that someone drinks enough to be over the limit or impaired (even if not drunk!) habitually so that they are not any use in an emergency would make me uncomfortable.

I admit however, to only drinking ocassionally - and only out on an evening, not at home, which is how my family are too. At home drinking was for special ocassions.

That is a lot and I can see why you'd be concerned about a pattern forming here. What does he drink the other two weeks when his shifts are different? Does he revert to weekend only drinking then?

Why wasn't he doing dry January?

What size beers are you talking? Small bottles, or pint cans? Could be the equivalent of bottle of wine every single day in alcohol units.

I used to drink like that myself. I was never obviously drunk- but it was still far far too much. I was constantly under the influence in one way or the other.

It’s an easy habit to get into, but also a pretty shitty one. I bet he’d feel much better both mentally and physically if he cut down.

4 beers a night IS excessive, by anyone's measure. But so are 2 bottles of wine over a weekend... How often, honestly, do you have some left over for the next weekend? Do you get through both? More often than not?

I wouldn't really know how to advise though, other than thinking both of you drink too much.

My husband drinks about 8 cans a night.. every night. I don’t drink during the week, then drink 3 bottles of wine over the weekend then feel like shit on Monday. Rinse and repeat until the end of time....
I’ve given up worrying about it tbh!

@User133847

Why wasn't he doing dry January?

Erm you do know dry January isnt mandatory dont you?

Op - I like a drink and could easily do what your husband is doing. But I think its important to give your liver a break so I always have 4 dry days a week. Although he isnt drinking huge amounts, he isnt giving his liver a break and this is dangerous. Plus as others have said. It is empty calories and a lot of sugar. Could he cut down to one dry day then 2 etc until he is back to just weekends again?