To think people should take priority over phones?

[BossAtALoss]

Hi Vipers

Looking for opinions as I really don't know if I'm BU or just have a niche pet hate that's getting out of control and doesn't actually matter to others.

Am I unreasonable to think that if you're in conversation with someone in person, that they should generally take priority over a ringing phone? It drives me mad when I'm chatting with DP or certain friends and they'll break off mid-sentence to answer their phone within 2 rings as if it's on fire. Often it's just a casual call and they then embark on a chat while I just sit there waiting

Obviously there are exceptions. When someone is waiting for an important call, expecting good/bad news, on call for work, if you're a parent and your child or their school calls, or a an elderly or vulnerable parent calls and so on, then it's totally acceptable to grab the phone straight away in case you're needed straight away. Likewise if you're physically with someone but not actually engaging with them, then taking a call is fine.

If I'm chatting one on one with someone and my phone rings I'll generally just drop the call and get back to them later, and if they call again (Mum ) answer quickly, explain I'm busy and establish that if it's not urgent I'll call them back later. Same if I get a text, I'll leave it for a more convenient time.

Maybe this harks back to my hotel reception days when it was verboten to answer a phone with a guest stood in front of you, or maybe I'm just a bit needy? Maybe I'm boring AF and they're desperate for the distraction? Genuinely don't know.

(I think I'm probably a bit sore tonight as DP answered the phone halfway through a sentence, chatted to his DSis for 20 minutes while I sat in silence and then shrugged it off as 'family' - so apparently ok to ignore me for )

Your DP is a bit of a dick.

And yes, barring emergencies you don't do this.

Your DP is a bit of a dick

He's really really not generally. Just seems to have a bit of a blind spot when it comes to his phone. Don't get me started on every notification you can imagine going all bloody day and night!

I wouldn’t expect my partner to not answer his phone in that situation, no. I wouldn’t sit in silence though, I’d do whatever I wanted to do (if that was ‘watch tv’ I’d shoo him out the room).

@MiddleParking That's exactly what I should have done. I'd paused it when he came in from work to give him my full attention, and just left it paused. My own fault for sulking instead of shooing!

Completely agree ! My phone never leaves my side, except for when we’re eating , but I would never dream of breaking a conversation to answer it. My DP and I had the biggest row in our relationship when I spent ages cooking a meal, we’d just started eating and his bloody DSIS rang. He sodding well answered and his meal went cold. Chaos and shouting ensued and I packed up and left, he just couldn’t see why I was so upset. Fortunately, he had a think , and apologised , he wouldn’t dream of being such a dick now.

DH have had nearly a year of all day every day in each others company, a ringing phone is akin to winning the lottery. There's no way anything you're saying is more interesting than someone from the outside world getting in contact 😂

@FlumpetCrumpet Aah see that makes sense, but it's not the case in our situation!

@FlumpetCrumpet Just to stress that I mean we've been able to see/speak to other people (from a distance) not that I'm especially interesting

YANBU.

But lots of people do this.

I also used to get ticked off when a lot of people had call waiting, and would break off talking to me to answer the other line. So rude.

I'd paused it when he came in from work to give him my full attention

Oh Christ no that wouldn’t happen in my house 😂

I'm with you.
I'm fed up of seeing people at tills/checkouts who get a phone call and actually say to the member of staff " sorry, hang on a minute " or " I'll be with you in a minute."
It happens at school pick up time when you need to speak to a parent and you can only let one child go to a parent at a time. You have to ask the child to hang back so that you can release the other children. The parent in the phone is oblivious to all of this.
Fully appreciate that you might be getting test results or a job offer but , every day?

Makes me wonder how we all coped before we had mobile phones. I grew up in a house that didn’t have a phone at all. We all lived to tell the tale.