WIBU about husband's beard?

[cadoo1]

I feel awful.

For months my DH has been growing a beard. An awful, long, ginger beard. It doesn't suit him and he looks scruffy and old. Last night I realised that I didn't just not like it, it actually totally turns me off

So today I told him in no uncertain terms that the beard does not do it for me. An hour later he comes downstairs with a tidy, very short, trimmed beard.

Now he looks all sad and I think I've hurt his feelings. He's never told me he doesn't like my hair, or my face and I feel totally mean.

I did the right thing... didn't I!?

Hmm I don't know. It's his face, so it's not quite the same as him saying he doesn't like your haircut.

If you suddenly drew on heavy, dramatic eyebrows and he said something it would be comparable.

As long as you are open to such direct criticism of your hair choices then it is fine. If you are going to operate the standard MN double standard then no.

@Duckberg

Anyone else up for a mass lady garden/armpit/leg hair growing festival?

A couple of years ago I made the decision not to shave my pubic hair or my armpit hair. Mainly because I find it annoying and awkward. I still shave my legs (much less at the moment though!) I asked DH what he thought about that and he was genuinely confused why I'd ask him

I’m not married anymore and didn’t have a beard when I was, but like a lot of men have grown one in lockdown (goatee ) which is trimmed.

But if I was still married and my wife asked me to trim my beard I think probably would
If she said shave it off or no sex, I would be pretty taken aback but probably still do it
If I told her I did like her hair not quite sure how that would go down, like a lead balloon I would imagine

My dh has a beard and I love it. He’s all grizzly and weathered. Phwoar!
That said, he doesn’t have to have it...if he wanted to shave it off that would be fine too. In fact he did once...after I’d gone to bed. When he was getting into bed, I woke up, looked at him and screamed...I didn’t immediately recognise him!

Have to say he doesn’t give a toss about hair fannies or armpits. We don’t mind hair here.

Objectively I think YWBU because I don't think either spouse should be able to dictate what the other one looks like.

And subjectively I think YWBU simply because I desperately wish my DH wanted a beard (and I don't think I should dictate to him...)

I’m the opposite actually - dh grew a beard about 3 years ago and I love it. He shaved it off last lockdown and I nearly cried! I still love him without it obviously but I told him I find his beard a turn-on and he’ll get more sex if he keeps it.

He grew it back!

@cadoo1 YANBU.

The thing is when you snog somebody with a beard you obviously get a scratchy sensation, often uncomfortable for the non-bearded one. If you snog somebody with long or short hair there is no barrier to the snog. It is different. Some beards look and feel rank and can be a deterrent to sexual shenanigans.

You should be honest with your husband and you were app don't see a problem there. Also, it was upto him end of the day. If he really didn't want to cut it he could've said so

I hate beards, but wouldn't criticise someone's appearance