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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

New to team: colleague treating me differently

16 replies

weirdcoll · 04/02/2021 19:10

Started in a new team a few months ago and while the HOD is lovely, her junior has been off with me.

Junior hasn't been helping me properly with onboarding and I haven't wanted to dob her in to the manager but it's been grating on me. Junior seems perfectly fine with other colleagues though so I'm not sure what's up.

I'll send work to get feedback on and she won't even open those emails (I have read receipts on) but when we have a catch up with the wider team, she'll ensure to read my latest and pipe up.

Now I'm on leave, Junior is going overboard, sending multiple messages in a day, actually doing what they should've done before.

While it's great that they're finally doing their job and helping me out where needed, I feel a bit miffed - why has me going on leave led to her finally doing what she should've done.

AIBU to think that once back from leave, I should flag this with the HOD? Or should I leave it?

OP posts:

JetBlackSteed · 04/02/2021 19:14

As a HOD, I would want to know this, so yes you should mention it.

Original poster

weirdcoll · 04/02/2021 19:20

@JetBlackSteed

As a HOD, I would want to know this, so yes you should mention it.

Thank you @JetBlackSteed - any advice for how to raise it?

Naturally, I've not said anything before because I'm new and didn't want to make enemies early on/tried to give Junior the benefit of the doubt...

OP posts:

AlwaysCheddar · 04/02/2021 19:28

You can open emails and say no to sending a read receipt. I never click yes to sending a read receipt.

Iggly · 04/02/2021 19:30

I hate read receipts 😂

Anyway I digress. Maybe she was jealous or wanted the role or didn’t think you should have it? Just speculating.

CherryPieface · 04/02/2021 19:41

I think I would use this change in behaviour to raise the issue with the junior. Who do you report into, junior or HOD?

TinyCake · 04/02/2021 19:51

Maybe she finds the read receipts a bit demanding? I only put them on emails that are super important. Depends on office culture though.

Or maybe she has to heavy a workload to help properly.

NicEv · 04/02/2021 19:54

I don’t really understand this message.

Why are you sending emails to the junior for feedback?

Why do you assume it’s personal to you and not just a workload issue or similar?

I think read receipts are weird - I hate them! Maybe she struggles to keep on top of emails but makes sure she preps for meetings rather than her reading them before meetings being some sort of weird way to get at you ?

Icequeen01 · 04/02/2021 20:14

I hate those read receipts. That would annoy the hell out of me. It always makes me feel someone doesn't trust me to do my job. If someone new came along and insisted on sending me emails with read receipts I would be pissed off with them to be honest.

Original poster

weirdcoll · 04/02/2021 20:14

To clarify: The junior is junior to the HOD - not to me. I'm a newbie, so bottom of the rung lol.

Re the read receipts - it's part of the job. We all have them - they're not the type that need to be clicked on to prove they've been opened.
But if the junior did read my messages, they would contact me during the week (as they're meant to).

They support the newbies (me) which is why I get feedback from them. We all do and this feeds into our practice.

OP posts:

Original poster

weirdcoll · 04/02/2021 20:17

Our read receipts are such that if you engage with their content, you get a ping to confirm that. I get them from the HOD it's normal because of the job.

Can we not get too hung up on them please as I don't think they're necessarily relevant to my question.

OP posts:

TinyCake · 04/02/2021 20:24

Ah OK thanks for clarifying. I'd definitely mention it before you get to probation meeting if you have one.

Toilenstripes · 04/02/2021 20:31

How long have you been there? I would tread very carefully.

Original poster

weirdcoll · 04/02/2021 21:28

Not very long at all hence why I've bit my lip and smiled when HOD has asked how things are going between Junior and I - especially when Junior and I are both there!
@Toilenstripes

OP posts:

Toilenstripes · 04/02/2021 21:40

Is junior an admin person? I’m inclined to think that whatever is going on will sort itself out with time.

MintyMabel · 04/02/2021 22:09

I find read receipts really irritating. They are not designed to do what you are trying to do - track whether other people are reading your emails. I’ve always thought people who use them are full of self importance. Their email is no more important to me than anyone else’s. I’m capable of doing my job without them checking.

The only time they should be used is if the delivery is time sensitive. E.g when we send tenders out, we put a read receipt on it and ask people to ensure they click is so we can be sure the tender has been received. We ask them to do the same when they return tenders so we all have proof it was sent in on time.

If you have a genuine issue with this person not doing their job then have a chat with them, but if a new boss came in and started read receipting me, they’d have got off on my wrong side.

NicEv · 04/02/2021 22:44

I would focus on building a good relationship with the junior. You are still quite new and it takes time to build positive work relationships. Try giving her lots of positive feedback and being super grateful when she does help you. Try not to read in to things she doesn’t do - it may be pressure of work rather than a gripe against you personally. Don’t run to your boss just yet - you will sound petty and childish as she really hasn’t done anything concrete. Just focus on getting to know her and doing everything you can to build a good working relationship with her. And lose the read receipts!

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