Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Questioning School

52 replies

ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 04/02/2021 10:19

Hi all,

I lurk on here daily but haven't posted for years.

My 9 year old DS has ASD and an EHCP - The sendco is really lovely and has been checking up on us since Lock down 1.0 and 3.0.

We had our annual review last week - and I asked questions regarding the provision and I'm not sure if I'm just being a "difficult parent" or if I'm within my rights to ask.

So I asked - since DS is 3WT and 3EX in most areas, if I could get him to redo Year 4, and the answer was a No.

I again asked if School would be able to provide 1:1 help for only Literacy and Maths even if it's 20 mins each subject, and the answer was again No.

So I asked how much funding the LA provides for my child and then I got a blunt answer in the email. The figure is around £2000 per year.

So my AIBU is - Should I ask how that money is being spent (since we are in lock down for majority of last year and this year) or AIBU and I shouldn't ask and let the school get on with it?

For further clarification - DS does live classes from home and doesn't attend school atm.

Thanks in advance :)

OP posts:
cansu · 04/02/2021 10:22

Is your child managing the home education or are you needing to help him excessively because he can't cope?

cansu · 04/02/2021 10:22

Does he normally receive 1:1 help in the classroom?

OverTheRainbow88 · 04/02/2021 10:24

I guess most the funding is used for staff.

Could you ask for your child to be in school?

Why are they saying no to 1-1 maths work?

Do they get 1-1 in school?

Backtoreality1 · 04/02/2021 10:28

£2000 wouldn't come close to covering the costs of 1:1 tuition. It would just about cover the interaction you are getting now with your Sendco. Could you afford a tutor yourself to do some individual tuition once a week?

OverTheRainbow88 · 04/02/2021 10:46

Does the EHCP mention 1-1 work? As this is legally binding the school needs to make sure your child is getting the support mentioned in the EHCP

Original poster
ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 04/02/2021 10:46

I have to sit with him and make sure he does it. I have to explain it to him and it does take longer for him to complete the activities.

OP posts:
Original poster
ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 04/02/2021 10:48

No he doesn't usually. He is in a mainstream school and is mostly working with his peers.

OP posts:
Original poster
ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 04/02/2021 10:49

The thing is, even if he was at school at the moment, he would have to log in from the school computers and complete the sessions virtually as teachers are teaching from home and they only have TA's in school.

So that's why I made the decision to keep him home.

OP posts:
Original poster
ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 04/02/2021 10:51

No it doesnt. We went through it last week and they have other strategies like handwriting 10 minutes a day and speech and language therapy etc which they will be referring him for.

OP posts:
Original poster
ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 04/02/2021 10:53

Yes we could afford tuition. Do you think that would help?

At the moment, I go through comprehension, maths, spellings, reading with him daily. He also completes Ed place activities 3x a week.

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 04/02/2021 10:54

I dobt think you are being a difficult parent, I think you are advocating for your dc.

Maybe go back to the school and ask what plans they have to help your dc catch up with peers?

cansu · 04/02/2021 10:54

I think that if he normally works without TA support and they are having live lessons then no you can't really ask for specific 1:1 sessions now.
The 2000 is minimal and as you say the SENCO is available and supporting as much as possible. If you think he needs more differentiation in the lesson then you could ask about this.

Original poster
ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 04/02/2021 10:54

I just realised - when I press Reply To a Post, it doesn't reply to that post directly. Blush

OP posts:
OverTheRainbow88 · 04/02/2021 10:56

Do you mind me asking what his EHCP is for?

Sounds like he is doing a lot for his age - what are you particularly Worried about ?

Original poster
ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 04/02/2021 11:05

@OverTheRainbow88 He is Autistic. So he has attention issues and concentrating is hard for him.

OP posts:
Original poster
ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 04/02/2021 11:06

I'm worried about him being behind academically.

OP posts:
Original poster
ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 04/02/2021 11:11

@Stompythedinosaur Yes the Sendco did say they will do assessments when kids are back in school and then work out how to help them. Smile

OP posts:
Candyapple49 · 04/02/2021 11:19

I am a teacher . We are not allowed to give 1:1 revision sessions or extra support due to safe guarding issues .

Yokey · 04/02/2021 11:28

I'd encourage you to ask all the questions you have. As a teacher (secondary though) I'm more than happy to have such discussions with an interested and concerned parent. I think how you ask is important. Teachers can be defensive if they get a whiff of "you're not doing enough and letting my child down" (which is only natural given they're largely maligned by the general public, suspiciously scrutinised by the system, thoroughly overworked, and chronically underfunded).

You seem perfectly reasonable though, OP, and entitled to answers. Good luck.

TheFakePlantIsTheOnlyOneILike · 04/02/2021 12:14

Our school is doing 1-1 zooms, teacher and another member of staff in a room at school (usually headteacher but has sometimes been deputy head or the head of key stage) and an adult has to be present in the room with the child, so I pop on say hi, and then sit off camera replying to emails or whatever while DD (aged 6, year 2) does her 1-1 with the teacher.

Could you suggest that?

Normaigai · 04/02/2021 12:28

DS has SEN (no formal diagnosis except for processing issues - something makes distance learning very hard for him). We're not in the UK so no ECHP but we do have 1-2 (with another child who is autistic) coaching daily for him to help him focus on at least one task a day. In my mind it's not an unreasonable ask. You might not get it but you certainly should be pushing for something. They should be doing something to help. I regret not pushing harder during the first lockdown.

The other thing I am now doing that I regret not doing is buying in tutoring to keep English up. He now has online tuition for English and it really helps. We did buy in maths help first time round, and not doing English as well was a mistake.

SeasonFinale · 04/02/2021 12:58

You do realise that you should in fact send him in because the people in school (ie. the TAs you seem dismissive of) would usually be the ones that are asked to support the students with SEN.

PaquitaVariation · 04/02/2021 13:08

If the ehcp does not accurately reflect your child’s needs or the provision needed then it needs to be reviewed and amended. This has to be done annually anyway, but it can be done more often if needed.

Original poster
ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 04/02/2021 13:40

@SeasonFinale My friend is a TA at the school, and she mentioned that the TA's only help the students who have 1:1 time. She also said that they help the students log in to virtual lessons and the remainder of the time the students have other creative activities.

I'm not dismissive of the TA's, they work very hard and go out of their way to help others.

OP posts:
Original poster
ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 04/02/2021 13:42

@Normaigai Thanks for your insight. Yes, I might consider that. I will have to look at what is available within budget of course.

I did purchase some Workbooks from Amazon - hopefully I can go through those with him too.

OP posts: