Anyone else get riled by this? My ex sees the kids EOW only (100% his choice - I'd happily do 50/50 but he didn't want to and now lives too far away for it to be feasible). I work FT with 2 tween DCs. Its tough going at the best of times and these are obvs not the best of times.
Very occasionally, because I feel like he should know and be involved, I let him know if one or other is going through a really bad patch behaviour wise or has done something especially bad. I'd like it to be a dialogue between us, where we can discuss strategies but recently he has taken to calling up the DC and having stern words as though his input from hundreds of miles away for a 5 minute chat is going to solve all the problems, immediately make the DC reform and he can feel like he's parenting. What actually happens is they nod and apologise and promise to behave / try etc then end the call and come crying or angry to me which I then have to deal with.
He makes "suggestions" about what happens at his house which always hold the implication that they (he and his current wife) are doing it better, ignoring the fact that a) there are 2 of them and b) they only ever see them on weekends and holidays so they are never juggling work / school / homework etc. He has refused to do any homeschooling this time (this would be practical and possible, just would make his life more awkward, like mine is)but checks up on their Teams accounts and then asks them about anything that is overdue and "doesn't Mummy make you do X"?
So, I suppose my AIBU is, should I be "grateful" that he is involved and making any kind of effort , or am I right to be pissed off that he does none of the day to day care, has an entirely different experience of parenting to me and is a smug twat who doles out "advice" from arms length but doesn't do the very few things that would be possible that would make life easier?