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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I stay in this house?

62 replies

stayormove11 · 04/02/2021 09:36

I currently live in a 2 bed flat, it’s a council flat, so really cheap rent. I have 3 children, 8 , 7 and 4.

They all share a room, and they sleep in a bunk bed. I started a business a few years ago, and earn good money.

My DD who’s 7 has been telling me for the past year she wants to have a own bedroom, she wants space from the boys. My boy eldest who’s 8 has said the same thing.

I would like to buy a house in the next 2 years.

My question, should I move from this place into another rented house?

The thing is I’m going to move again when I buy the house.

Would it be wise to stay here until I bought the house or move? I can afford to move now, it’s not about the money, it’s just that should I really move house twice in 2-3 years? What would you do?

OP posts:

Meggymoo777 · 04/02/2021 14:56

Could share with your DD in your room? Make it and exciting, luxe little 'girls space'?

AStudyinPink · 04/02/2021 15:18

Move house now. 3 years in a tiny flat with 3 kids cramped in one room (hitting puberty) when you can afford to live somewhere with more space sounds silly to me. How much stuff can one flat have in it?

AStudyinPink · 04/02/2021 15:19

Make it and exciting, luxe little 'girls space'

Sharing a room with your mum isn’t “luxe”.

Meggymoo777 · 04/02/2021 15:23

@AStudyinPink

Make it and exciting, luxe little 'girls space'

Sharing a room with your mum isn’t “luxe”.

Well she's only 7yo so my thinking behind the comment, as it's only for 2years or so, would be to decorate it in a way the DD would like and make it a luxe little space for the two of them?

sunflowersandbuttercups · 04/02/2021 15:24

@Meggymoo777

Could share with your DD in your room? Make it and exciting, luxe little 'girls space'?

Her daughter has said she wants her own bedroom - and besides, what pre-teen is going to want to share with their mum?!

OP - if you can afford to move without it impacting on your timeline for buying a house, then I would move. It'll be much nicer for your children to have a bit more space.

AStudyinPink · 04/02/2021 15:24

Well she's only 7yo so my thinking behind the comment, as it's only for 2years or so, would be to decorate it in a way the DD would like and make it a luxe little space for the two of them?

But it isn’t. If your mate’s come round and want to play in your room when you’re 8, they’re going to say, “Does your mum sleep in here?”

I’m not trying to sound mean. It’s just reality.

Meggymoo777 · 04/02/2021 15:29

@AStudyinPink

Well she's only 7yo so my thinking behind the comment, as it's only for 2years or so, would be to decorate it in a way the DD would like and make it a luxe little space for the two of them?

But it isn’t. If your mate’s come round and want to play in your room when you’re 8, they’re going to say, “Does your mum sleep in here?”

I’m not trying to sound mean. It’s just reality.

I guess I was just trying to make a positive suggestion, but I do see your point.

Meggymoo777 · 04/02/2021 15:31

On the upside OP, I know moving is a pain, especially moving twice in 2 or 3 years, have recently moved myself and now the pain. But, when I last moved I used it as an opportunity to both to get rid of so much stuff we'd accumulated, if you do the same then your 2nd move will e a breeze!

AStudyinPink · 04/02/2021 15:31

I guess I was just trying to make a positive suggestion, but I do see your point.

It would be more positive for them to move house for 3-4 years, then buy IMO. Give the kids some privacy.

ChristOnAPeloton · 04/02/2021 15:38

I’d stay put. Moving from a 2-bed council flat to a private 3-bed flat could mean you spending up to an extra £40-50k over a few years. It would where I am anyway.

Far better to put that amount of money towards a mortgage on your own house.

RandomMess · 04/02/2021 15:56

Stay put.

Can you rearrange the room differently so there can be a divider between her and the others?

The economy is going to be rough for a while, private rentals are very insecure.

Carry on saving hard with your aim to buy in 2 years.

Cadent · 04/02/2021 15:57

She's only 7, she can share for a couple more years.

The more you save now, the better house you will be able to buy in 2 years time.

Bluntness100 · 04/02/2021 15:59

I think staying out is the right answer but you need to do something to improve the sleeping arrangements in the meantime.

I think your daughter in with uou and your son and youngest in the other two rooms.

Or you sleep in the living room,

RandomMess · 04/02/2021 16:03

Very very very few siblings want to share!!! This is a pretty normal complaint.

Can she have her own "corner" for some toys/interests in the lounge?

Bluntness100 · 04/02/2021 16:07

@AStudyinPink

Well she's only 7yo so my thinking behind the comment, as it's only for 2years or so, would be to decorate it in a way the DD would like and make it a luxe little space for the two of them?

But it isn’t. If your mate’s come round and want to play in your room when you’re 8, they’re going to say, “Does your mum sleep in here?”

I’m not trying to sound mean. It’s just reality.

Well it’s a toss up between sleeping with your mum and sleeping with your two siblings

What their seven year old mates say should not be the deciding factor.

Right now the op has her own room and three kids are in the one other room together.

She needs to find a way to improve that if possible, and if that means her and her daughter sharing who cares what her seven year old mates think.

Fairystory · 04/02/2021 16:07

If you are in London, private rent for a 3 or 4 bed property will be a lot of money. Would you still be able to save towards buying a property when paying that. Surely it's better for the children to continue sharing for another year or two until you can buy. A 7 year old girl is unlikely to hit puberty for another two or three years and lots of children share.

AStudyinPink · 04/02/2021 16:08

She needs to find a way to improve that if possible, and if that means her and her daughter sharing who cares what her seven year old mates think.

Her daughter?

sunflowersandbuttercups · 04/02/2021 16:10

Are either of the rooms big enough to divide up?

Or, if the living room is separate to the kitchen, is that big enough to be used as a bedroom instead?

Lizadork · 04/02/2021 16:11

Could your daughter start sharing with you? Gives a bit of boys vs girls space etc.

Bluntness100 · 04/02/2021 16:15

@AStudyinPink

She needs to find a way to improve that if possible, and if that means her and her daughter sharing who cares what her seven year old mates think.

Her daughter?

Don’t be so ridiculous. 😂

Lizadork · 04/02/2021 16:17

Or make your room the living room?

Techway · 04/02/2021 16:17

I don't think we can say until you qualify what a 3 bed rental would be? Must be at least 1k extra each month, so could it be £24k or 36k, plus moving costs deposit etc, close to £40k??

What would you be buying? How much are you expecting to pay?

I think it comes down to hard cold cash. If you can definitely move in 2 years then you start looking in 12-18months which is no time at all so would not move.

Well done on the business!

lucyposting · 04/02/2021 16:18

Continue sharing but try and find a creative way to give her privacy. Probably best in with you? I bought an older Ikea bedframe from eBay for £5 (!) called the Hi Lo (I think) and put curtains (again Ikea so cheap) on the bar around the top for privacy (it created a little four-poster) and my DD (6) went in with me. Or just a room divider? Or you sleep in the living room? Then save for buying in a year or two and in that time you can keep trying to find a bigger place from the Council. In two years you will have more money to buy, the market may well be lower in London... or you may have got a bigger Council place as the age/sex and sharing issue comes up.

A big question is secondary schools - where do you want them to go? Would it help to move in the 6 months before applying? This would be the time to rent if you really had to.

But right now don't whatever you do go into a private rental. You might get lucky but it could be very unstable (moving every 6 months) could cost a fortune and use up all your deposit.

AStudyinPink · 04/02/2021 16:19

Don’t be so ridiculous. 😂

Eh? Her daughter will care what her mates think of her room in a year or 18 months. Don’t delude yourself. Sharing with your mum instead of having your own space at 9 is a big deal.

BarbaraofSeville · 04/02/2021 16:33

It might be a big deal in a 'first world problem' way of thinking, but that's the reality for lots of families, especially in high cost areas. The OP has secure and affordable accommodation of adequate size for her family, so she's streets ahead of a lot of people.

People are trying to guilt the OP in spending tens of thousands of pounds on a 'nice to have' when they have a perfectly satisfactory living arrangement and a plan to buy before they outgrow their current home.

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